Dividing by two

Noah filled his might ship

With pairs of he and she,

And no record from that trip

Upon that wrathful sea

Suggest he suffered confoundation

O'er any critter's assignation.

And yet it seems we modern brothers

Despite our gentle waves

Have trouble telling some from others

Or comparing cribs and graves.

God blessed Noah with more than warning

To know first night from fortieth morning.

And as we struggle to discern,

What distinctions now elude us?

The more we know and more we learn

The more the wise neighbor colludes

The more the scholar deeply delves

The less comes between objects and ourselves.

The stormy, wrath-roiled, boiling sea

That washed the ark to Ararat

Or the modern, gridhewn clarity?

I cannot choose 'tween ours and that

Though the foaming waves reflect much clearer

Than the peaceful lake flat as a mirror.

-Friedrich Schiller

DISCRIMINATION, n. The faculty to behave differently towards distinctive entities, such as discretion and bigotry or subjects and objects.

Father

FATHER, n. A quarter-master and commissary of subsistence provided by nature for our maintenance in the period before we have learned to live by prey.

2010 Update: A vestige of man's antewikipedian evolution, functioning now primarily as a repository for jokes, the punchlines for which are held in a separate vessel.

Foreordination

FOREORDINATION, n. This looks like an easy word to define, but when I consider that pious and learned theologians have spent long lives in explaining it, and written libraries to explain their explanations; when I remember the nations have been divided and bloody battles caused by the difference between foreordination and predestination, and that millions of treasure have been expended in the effort to prove and disprove its compatibility with freedom of the will and the efficacy of prayer, praise, and a religious life, — recalling these awful facts in the history of the word, I stand appalled before the mighty problem of its signification, abase my spiritual eyes, fearing to contemplate its portentous magnitude, reverently uncover and humbly refer it to His Eminence Cardinal Gibbons and His Grace Bishop Potter.

2010 Update: The transfer of a personal debt onto the divine ledger.

The Reformation of Wolfshausen

Teil Sechsundachtzig

To hear this week's story, pass the black door.

Or, you can read this episode at the tavern or the church below.

The story so far is here.

Hautboy

HAUTBOY, n. The least noisy of boys.

2010 Update: A double-reeded instrument named for its similarity to a Parisian waiter.

Hatred

HATRED, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.

2010 Update: A halo stuck in the throat.

Juggling

An ancient art of flame or pin,

Juggling grants relief from sin

For what could ever be more pious

Than to keep aloft the weights that try us?

But the objects we raise with the hand

Don't err nor grieve on air or land

While as our tribulations mount

It's we who are held to account.

So I wonder if, when heaven's scoring,

Bouncing ain't as grand as soaring.

JUGGLE, v. To deprive a planet the company of its kin.

Hare

HARE, n. A quadruped of the genus Lepus, of which the principle variety is the jackass rabbit-the Felis Nevadensis, of Humbolt. The jackass rabbit is sometimes called Cervus Chismori, in honor of a celebrated sportsman who in moments of excitement commonly swears it is a deer.

2010 Update: A long-eared lagomorph, Coniculum curriculum, endowed by its creator with the gifts of swiftness and eavesdropping. Unlike the interfering neighbor, or Avis adamantus, custom reports the hare having wasted both talents.

Hardware

HARDWARE, n. Women's consciences.

2010 Update: Men's indulgences.

The Reformation of Wolfshausen

Teil Fünfundachtzig

To hear this week's story, gather around Vater Johann's dream of Jeremiah.

Or, you can read this episode with Wotan.

The story so far is here.

And happy birthday to Dddragon on Sunday.