IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.
2006 Update: An engineer using chopsticks, a physicist on a bike, an economist in a convenience store or a poet with a mike.
IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.
2006 Update: An engineer using chopsticks, a physicist on a bike, an economist in a convenience store or a poet with a mike.
67 comments:
"Idiot Waltz"
What have I done with the baby tonight
Every one wants to play
The phone just stopped ringing
I forgot how to sing and
There's no more room in the table
Heard you all talking and toasting last night
But somebody's just barely there
The kitchen's too hot and she's roasting alright
And I miss my usual chair
Here comes that shine looks a lot like your eye
And here comes the moon like a fool
There goes my heart I swear I dreamt this part like idiots usually do
Why we do that now you know it's true
Come over here and wind up my ear
'Cause somebody wants me brand new
They say if you're smart
Then you won't buy used parts
So I'm glad you're an idiot too
Well spit on my shoes and call me silly... I am first! :) Has this ever happened before???
Idiot: An intellectual free pass. See: Dubya and those who still continue with blind alliance to him. Alternatively, an occassional bus riding, more often cycling, coffee snob with an orange spikey head.
"He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher...or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.” ~Douglas Adams
"As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot."
John Lennon
(Okay, no more quotes from me today)
Idiot: a person who buys an apartment with the smallest weirdest shaped kitchen, is so wrapped up in her life, doesn't realize the fridg is dying. Though she has been told that there are no warning signs---can't believe that there's no life support and now has to find a fridg that can be delivered today
Idiot: my life story as told by me
When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can't do that much longer.
~Joan Van Ark~
Also, idiot: My old "retarded" ex-boss, someone who thought he was too good for the job when in fact the job was too good for him.
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.” ~Stephen Wright
"Idiots and lunatics see only their own wit.” ~ François de la Rochefoucauld
Idiot: person who resorts to predigested wisdom in order to seem smart and/or witty (with apologies to Bierce)
Although very good quotes above, only an idiot would take this bait.
is that you!!! awwh what a nice face!!!! speaking of faces you should see the ones posted on mine today!!!! ;)
Idiot: one who attends to blogs before dogs. (see also, carpet cleaner)
By the way, are you wearing eyeliner? I know, only an idiot would ask that question.
...or a genius using a camera? You are so cute!
Idiot, n., Everybody. Just in different ways. It's impossible to make things idiot-proof, 'cause idiots are so ingenius.
Is there is not-so-hidden message in the wedding pix?
Shayna, this is the first time I can recall you first and you stepped in with the Idiot's Waltz. Well done.
Sar, you've just named 30% plus one of our fellow citizens. Why do you hate America?
Puppybrose, an idiot is never honored at home.
Joel, Durocher had a way with words, didn't he? Lennon was a scandalous iconoclast, God bless him.
Actually, Mo'a, Barneyis supposed to be pretty smart. I heard he even wrote the post-invasion plan himself.
Nah, Pia, the idiot's the one who throws the refrigerator out the window before it breaks. You didn't do that did you?
Sophisticated, Joan Van Ark?
Brian, I'm so glad for the disclaimer. Thank you.
Puppybrose, do you suppose Rochefoucauld was bitter that no-one got his?
G, discretion is just silent idiocy.
Thanks, Jodes, the faces are better on your site.
Haha, Puppybrose. That's why I leave in a desert canyon, or as Willie and Walela call it, the bathroom.
G, you're kidding right? Do I look like a hairdresser to you?
TLP, I didn't think it was a very hidden message. If you're asking if I'm planning a wedding then I'm asking what time you started drinking.
Anomie, especially one at a time.
Here I thought I was being valiant. Oh and I'm not sure, what does one look like?
I hate to direct people to another blog
but its worth it
watch "Pig Man" on www.onegoodmove.org
and you have the embodiment of today’s Definition
PS - Doug had to post with this nickname after SS told me it came up in a convo. you guys had
AP
Ahhh, Idiot what a word. As a matter of fact, I feel many posts deep in the core of my being about ready to spew forth across the pages of this blog...
Idiot: A person who thinks their intellect is dizzying when in reality they are just dizzy.
Or perhaps it is the tight orange hat.....
... what I've been known to mutter when an administration spokesperson holds forth on CNN. Also, are those bridesmaids and groomsmen action figures? How subconscious! xoxo
Airel -- I have no pimples because I exfoliate regularly
a software engineer on-line?
Doug, you appear to be concentrating so hard on that task!
It could be logo but I define Idiot this way:
An Engineer on a bicycle going about 20 mph noticing a click coming from one of the pedals. So he clips his left foot out and keeing his right foot clipped in continues to push on the pedal, no click/creak. He unclips his right food, and THINKS his left foot is clipped in and starts to pedal with his left foot. His left foot slips off the pedal and lodges itself firmly between the front fork and wheel and, said engineer experiences Newtons Law. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Its amazing how quickly you can flip over the bars and end up on your back wondering just what happened.....
Accomplice, Partner-in- crime, Unindicted co-conspirator, Bride: Idiot by association
No, No, I would never call anyone on four legs an idiot.....what do you think I am? an.....Humffff!!!
Pretty funny though and you are no idiot you found the right house...wrong occupant....but the right house.
Cute photos.....I am making a cake topper for a certain cake that will be presented in Denmark....yes I know, I could have bought one....just think of the shame of it if I had....I am a sculptor after all.
You look very cute on that photo...are you looking at me?????
Listen here you pesky human Willie impersonator, only an idiot would believe my disdain for corruption and ignorance translates into my hate for Americans. :P
Uh, no reference to you intended, VI. Clearly you have a dizzying intellect.
(Btw, Brian - your poem made me laugh.)
VI~ Oh no, clearly it IS conceivable, in fact, it happened about 42 years ago, isn't it?
G, how would I know? I'm lucky to comb.
Armen, I enjoyed that very much. I think I have it recorded at home.
Karen, I had a feeling the administration might come up today.
Ariel, I think a metrosexual man is wise to check for pimples.
Idiot, at least it'll help if you run into a wall or a bus.
Mireille, I think the wedding cake is a fine place for action. A Farewell to All That.
Logo, I wanted a picture of myself for "Idiot." So I took it in the mirror and forgot to turn off the flash. Could it be more perfect? I wasn't concentrating I was stargazing.
CJ, you sure seem to volunteer a lot. Which is worse? The mother-in-law or the gang of teenage criminals?
Ha, Joel. I'm with stupid t-shirts are cheaper than white taffeta, not to mention more honest.
Mo'a I was actually blinded by light, so, yes.
Sar, ok but you hate minorities, right?
V.I. Drinking from either cup?
Logo, if she guessed A she's right.
Come on, a4g, you get the best of me 9 times out of 10.
Logo - He denies, but I think he may be wearing eyeliner in his photo.
there is a largh difference between conceive and contheive I leave the proof for the reader
VI,...leave the proof for the reader...
You would,
too idiotic to generate any yourself, thus proving my point.
G~ I think those are dark circles, maybe he should quit getting up so early in the morning.
Hmmmmmmm.
I don't know Doug, I'll have to get back to you on this one. However, if I was gambling on this today - as far as who is worse... I'd put my money on the MIL.
Actually,
The proof is so simple any Idiot could figure it out.
Ok, fine,
so put your idiocy on display,
what exactly is the difference in definition between contheive and conceive?
(note, difference in definition not spelling)
conceive ..pronounced con sieve. Therefore, looking at that prefix we see con, contrary, contralto, convict.
Moving on to the suffix we see an entire word sieve. As every idiot knows a sieve is merely a screen.
Therefore the conclusion can be drawn that this is nothing but a smokescreen designed to redirect, obfuscate and confuse.
conthieve on the other hand simply describes the act of thievery, where one consieves
We simply consieve when we conthieve.
And there is it, ladies and gentleman, clear evidence, that at least one idiot was indeed conceived approximately 42 years ago and presented here for your enjoyment.
Don't forget to tip your waitress, he'll be for quite a while, feel free to come back again anytime!
Bravo!
"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.
~Mark Twain
There are so many definitions.
uh...did i miss something here? about thieves and cups and t-shirts and wedding cakes and eyeliner?
god! i feel like such a freaking idiot!
Napoleon Dynamite: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
Pedro: Why?
Napoleon Dynamite: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?
Napoleon Dynamite: No. Not unless she likes fish.
i'm sorry, but, along with images from the Princess Bride, scenes from Napolean Dynamite keep popping in my head. should i be worried? should you? do you like fish?
More serious note. I trust you're not in the path of any fires, Doug? In a California summer, one must be real careful of idiots with cigarettes ...
ooooh... O'C, i'm so GLAD you asked doug about those fires! honestly, i meant to earlier and, as is so often the case, managed to completely forget! (as you may have surmised, that e-mail i owe *you* falls into that category, as well) no wonder i feel like such an idiot.
*clears throat* Having met our curmudgeon host, I have seen these two-toned eyes in person (*gloats*). So I can confirm that Doug does in fact wear eyeliner. You see, it's having to repress his metrosexual side that really makes him such a curmudgeon. Don't let him fool you otherwise.
OC, we didn't elect Bush twice. We elected Gore the first time around. And I've personally only elected to resent & berate Bush.
Thanks for confirming my suspicions Sar. I can now go home. Have a good weekend everybody.
You can get a map of the currently-active California fire zones here. Doug should be on the other side of Los Angeles from the headlined fires, more than 80 miles away.
Sar, I'm a curmudgeon too. One that says we allowed Bush to take office in 2000. So in practical terms, hanging chads notwithstanding, we elected him.
regarding the eyeliner? i'm guessing it's kohl, right? and it looks lovely, Doug. (not to mention mysterious.) thanks Sar! (how's that ankle?)
oh, and Sar? not only did we the people elect Gore the first time around...apparently we elected Kerry the 2nd! i believe we have a couple of world class idiots in Ohio to thank for that last bit of election thievery... but don't quote me. (and don't get on my case O'C... i know where you stand on this!!)
g: have a good weekend NBFF!!
yes Doug... i'm done. sorry.
G, do you really want to get into this?
Jamie Dawn, I think a guy who decides to use his own picture for a post and takes it in the mirror without turning the flash off is not above idiocy. But thanks anyway.
CJ, I never bet with the judge. Just let me know.
Terry, that's a fantastic quote. Twain was something else.
Masil, I love that.
Puppybrose, I'd never turn down a delicious bass.
O Ceallaigh, I can't believe that cartoon. I could have saved myself so much trouble about the circles under my eyes if I'd only seen that sooner. I'll leave you and Sar to the politics for now. I didn't bring up the President. Thanks for your question, though. The fires are about 80 miles East of me, heading North so I'll be alright. Actually, two years ago there were massive fires on my North, East and South so I'm pretty safe for a little while. Kind of you to ask.
Jeez, Sar, two hours in a diner sure made you an expert. Especially with you doing all the talking. If only I could be so perceptive.
G, here I wanted you guys to get to know me better, to have a sense for me in person and all I get is scandalized and speculated. I should have known. I should have known. Have a great weekend.
Very good, O'C. Yes, I'm due North by Northwest from Los Angeles proper and the fires are East.
Puppybrose, nothing to apologize for, although I'm still not convinced about either 2000 or 2004 except that however Bush got in, we really need to do better next time. And why can't I just be ugly?
haha that was fun.
Hmm...idiot. So much to do with this word and so little time.
I'd say: two Canadian babes in a California pool all to themselves going "k-kish!" with noodles they slap them against the water. And one forgets she's doing a somersault in the water and panics. Know those shark feeding frenzy scenes on Discovery Channel? It looked like that. Surprisingly....THIS WASN'T ME!! I'm a Pisces...I'm a water baby. And now, I'm not going to discuss the idiotic sunburn on my back. Sigh. Stupid, useless sunscreen.
Hey flash freak, I'll have you know it was 3 hours and I did so stop talking long enough to have the 7 bites it took to finish my breakfast, so I am a resident expert thank you very much!
Thanks for the lovin & back at ya both G & Puppy (and the ankle's doing mucho better thanks for asking).
And OC, as for the 2000 election, I have one acronym for you, my friend - SCOTUS. Just sayin.
Oh and Jenna I neglected to mention, enjoy your time in Disneyland - I can't believe we missed meeting each other by a matter of days! I recommend seeking out Mr. Incredible in California Adventureland.
That's it for me folks; Drone & Prattle with you later this weekend.
Wow. Some snarkin' goin' on here! Fun.
I haven't started drinkin' so I'm breathing a sigh of relief for your bachelorhood. In my defense, you DID take your own pix, and you DID post a wedding pix, so an idiot could think that you were doing something stupid like getting married. Not that there's anything wrong with that. (It's just that you haven't properly introduced us to any intended victom.)
Ahh Doug, don't me mad - especially on my account. I happen to like the dark circles (I have two of my own that I've grown fond of) and I myself don't wear eyeliner much either.
Hey wait, you should have known what? That I'm an idiot! I'll have you know I don't need to come here to get insulted. So have yourself a great weekend.
Oh and Sar, good to see you up and brawling. The ankle has not slowed you down, if anything, might have given you just that extra edge that you wear so well.
Jenna - I'm guessing passenger 23D is probably very happy right now. Hope your having a good time. We've missed you around the Snark.
Doug, one last little thing - where do we order our copies?
Oh, don't even get me started on this one!
Idiot: A condition of which no one is immune. (squares are especially susceptible) perhaps big pharma will come up with a vaccination for the condition one day...
nice photo! and yeah, the flash in the mirror causes interesting results, i know pretty well...still yours turned out pretty swell!
Actonbell, or someone who eats what does what come out. Come on, those red vines were there the day I was born.
Welcome, Antonia.
Jenna, freckled girls and the California sun can go badly together. That's why we only have fake blondes.
Sar, you mean the electoral college?
Jenna, think of all the places your book will go.
TLP, how could I get engaged without your disapproval?
Haha, G. I wasn't mad. It was my turn to rant. Copies of what?
Jenna, welcome home and I hope we treated you well.
Poobah, I knew I'd seen this word somewhere before on a blog.
Thanks, Squaregirl. You don't need a vaccine for idiocy, you need a diploma.
TLP, I had the oposite impression, I thought the message was that those well dressed proper dolls are the ones look so normal but are idiots in real (get married), while the suspicious figure sneaking through the night with flash who may look like a serial killer but he's the normal one in real (not get married).
now that thinking about it, another possible message comes to me: the upper photo is of the event of great expectations, the one below is of the way things go after that... finally we can have some ideas what Desdemona could feel when opened her eyes that last night. 'Photograph me to-morrow: let me live to-night!'
I always thought that this whole "Dogs look like their owner"-thing was a myth.
I stand corrected!
seriously you guys, look at it!
Doug - A copy of the photo of course to add to the family album!
g: that was my thought, as well!
ariel: and see....i was thinking Norma Desmond in lieu of Mr. DeMille
Ariel, maybe I meant to offer the full spectrum of idiots, from wed to unwed. and Ha!
Hahaha, Minka. You're too focussed on the ears.
A g, download away.
Puppybrose, I didn't think Sunset Boulevard was missing anything but you found something. I'm actually a little surprised that in the Faye Dunaway version, Norma Desmond didn't peel off a mask to reveal she is, in fact, Cecil B. DeMille.
We've all been one and we'll all be one again and again..........idiots never learn.
That isn't exactly the picture I have in my mind when I think "idiot" but it's good to know. ;)
Ha, Cooper. I wouldn't you to have any false notions that didn't come from The Nation.
Idiot: The last person to comment on Doug's post.
(Ha! I dare anyone to respond to this)
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