Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Non-Combatant
NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead quaker.
2006 Update: adj. Well armed.
47 comments:
Anonymous
said...
first...in the name of teh Penguin! (what the hell... it was her birthday yesterday, this is the least i can do)
Non-Combatant: My favorite brilliant & snarky character from M*A*S*H*.
I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got into this war I had a very clear understanding with the Pentagon. No guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to old Virginie, I'll even hari-kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!
So according to Ambrose, a non-combatant is dead and a Quaker. According to Doug, a non-combatant is an octopus. So, we've got a quiet, extinct sea creature dressed in black. That's not workin' for me. Back to the drawing board.
i agree! TLP deserves the crown today... or at the very least a nicely appointed jester's cap, for that was, indeed, hilarious!
non-combatant: woman who withholds information until *after* sons are on plane to California and husband returns from business trip in Atlanta. [see also: me, too]
ecmseji: E=mc² (and, yes, E is measured in joules)
To be the first - that is the idea. To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else - these are the things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial. ~MARK TWAIN~
I agree with you Doug that the writing for Driftwood is great and rather poetic.....however, I find their redundant use of the F and C words coming from every character's mouth irritating,....perhaps I should send them a Thesaurus :) My point is that many words such as unmidigated...., damn blasted....., bloody...and you damn idiot could be used for f..k or a f..k up seems to me to be more of a 19th century way of speaking. As for the word C..t well that word should be taken out of the English language all together.
Let's all open our Geneva Conventions to Protocol I, 8, June 1977, Art 43.2 and skip the whole thing, because AG Gonzalez tried to lead us in a chorus of "noncombatant is a person who is fighting but is not a member of a regular armed force and who therefore do not enjoy the full protections of the Geneva Conventions" whereby the Supreme Court joined in with a chorus that sounded a lot like "They are entitled to habeas corpus anyway."
I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Since it brought us back up to a level of civilization that honors us as humans rather than disgracing us.
For some reason this makes me think of a conversation I had recently with Mr. Logo. He claims I don't understand measured retaliation. My theory is, if someone stomps your toes you knee them in the groin and grab a bat to be ready in case they didn't get the point. This results in being a non-combatant. Escalating slowly just encourages people to push the limits, right?
Non-Combatant: one who "speaks softly but carries a big stick" (Teddy Roosevelt(ish). by the way, Doug, did you know that Teddy met/became lifelong friends with Seth Bullock in 1884?)
okay... so i'm a Wikipediot, too. (another made up word you may feel free to use. or not.)
Wow!!!Neva that is some great information on Seth Bullock....he looks like one of my very good friends who died of AIDS.....I mean the series actor. I am disapointed that they did not mention the language they used....OK!!!OK!!! I have ridden that horse to death. I still love that show....in spite of the language.
Mo'a.... just so you know, the language, which is frightful but--i'm sorry to say--authentic, (and BRILLIANTLY written on the show), actually bothered Seth Bullock, too. (not the writing on the show, but the real, authentic cussing). so much so, that Bullock eventually saw to it that cussing in Deadwood was "verboten" (in honor of yesterday's word). i learned this on The History Channel, in a very good special on the Real Deadwood.
oh, and, as you may have noticed, he accomplished a lot in Deadwood without ever killing anyone. so, in a way, he was a somewhat non-combatant individual, right? (ear pulling notwithstanding)
Mo'a & Mutha - I grew up watching M*A*S*H and will still stop & watch it if I'm flipping the dials (as I call channel surfing). That was some brilliant writing indeed.
Doug - Radar? You?! C'mon now. Btw, my favorite sequence with Radar was when Colonel Potter asked for a Snickers without peanuts and Radar said "yes sir, one Three Musketeers Bar coming right up".
ya know, Sar, i totally forgot to compliment you on your M.A.S.H. quote earlier today. oh how i adore that show. like you, i rarely pass up a chance to watch. of course, i do the same with I Love Lucy, so that may not be saying much... (i saw the movie M.A.S.H. at the drive-in in Orange County when it first came out, and was blown away but the writing/ delivery/cinematography. it's still one of my ALL TIME favorites!) uh... where was i?
oh yeah...too much TV? i know. it doesn't compute. and yet, a girl (me) can't help but worry when just about every reference she has comes from some old movie and/or tv show! xo
Neva I defer to your authority....I don't watch nearly enough TV :) But I do learn a lot from my blog friends. Legs up.....anyone willing to scratch my belly....wooof!!!! Sorry is that Doug's line LOL :)
Mutha, I hate being passive-aggressive. Why do you make me?
TLP, I like yours better.
Puppybrose, if you can't say something mean...
Clever, Ariel!
Howdy, Jodes
Kyahgirl, I believe that.
Puppybrose, Oh boy.
Cooper, I'm fealing more and more like a man of peace these days.
V.I. It's good that you're a father not me. I find 10-year-olds perfect for combat. Perfect size and weight to really travel and at least 7 years past cute.
It's OK, Cooper. We have social promotion at Waking Ambrose.
Terry, perfect quote (he says drolly)
No shame, Miz B. I'm lucky to read today.
Mireille, I kind of enjoy the rule of law myself. Welcome home.
Hermana, but you're so gracious. (I can tell you've been itching for a fight all week.)
Absolutely, Logo. Stepping on the toe or speaking before 10AM and after 11. Let me be judged by the help I've given my neighbor to act right.
Puppybrose, I didn't know that but I'm loving your coinage lately. Someone should put up a Wikipedia entry for that.
RIght, Jamie Dawn and someone who gets tired of it is a dead quaker.
Mo'a, to be honest, I suspect the language is a little on the tame side, but it's nice to hear from a proper lady.
That's kind of what I suspected, Neva. I know a little bit of small towns in the West. They are wholesome, sober and God-fearing places only on election day and opening night.
Sar, Radar was from Otummwa Iowa. Dorky-looking midwesterners always have my sympathy.
Puppybrose that reminds me of a scene from Jackie Brown, when Bridget Fonda's character says "It depends on if your ambition is to get high and watch TV." (Sorry, I couldn't think of a TV scene it reminded me of)
First Nations, welcome back but I'm scandalized! Tut, tut!
47 comments:
first...in the name of teh Penguin! (what the hell... it was her birthday yesterday, this is the least i can do)
non-combatant getting up earlier than normal to avoid moring rush hour.
Have a good day everyone!
Non-Combatant: one who might kill you with kindness.
Non-combatant: this is so not me today. One, two, three, four, I declare a "these are my words" war. Grr. Oh yeah...bring it.
To kill by proxy like a general or Charles Manson
NON-COMBATANT, n. Collateral damage.
Wishy-Washy
Non-Combatant: My favorite brilliant & snarky character from M*A*S*H*.
I will not carry a gun, Frank. When I got into this war I had a very clear understanding with the Pentagon. No guns. I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to old Virginie, I'll even hari-kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!
- Hawkeye Pierce
Sar~thank you reminding us of what good writing is all about. I love Deadwood but tire of the F and C words on every lip in that show.
Non-Combatant: Who? me? ^<^
Good start, Puppybrose.
CJ, you're a good warrior.
Puppybrose, they're a treacherous kind.
Jenna, let us have it. Whatever that is.
Or, like, with Rock'em Sock-em robots, Lammy?
So, Anomie, a voter?
O Ceallaigh, they seem to be getting more central.
Mistress Anna, I think you may be right.
Sar, I was always a Radar O'Reilly fan.
Mo'a I love that show and don't mind the cussing. They somehow write with more poetry than the rest of television does with the Queen's English.
Man Sar, that was great. I know the very scene and could hear Alan Alda in my head.
Non-combatant: A practitioner of passive agression. Now, everybody go limp.
So according to Ambrose, a non-combatant is dead and a Quaker. According to Doug, a non-combatant is an octopus. So, we've got a quiet, extinct sea creature dressed in black. That's not workin' for me. Back to the drawing board.
Non-combatant: No hitter.
Non-Combatant: peaceful revolutionist. [see also: Nelson Mandela (it's his 88th birthday), embracer of ubuntu.]
non-combatant=satisfied
ha ha, good one.
Me
TLP: That's the best giggle I've had ALL day!
i agree! TLP deserves the crown today... or at the very least a nicely appointed jester's cap, for that was, indeed, hilarious!
non-combatant: woman who withholds information until *after* sons are on plane to California and husband returns from business trip in Atlanta. [see also: me, too]
ecmseji: E=mc² (and, yes, E is measured in joules)
non combatant - one who stays away from blog commenting.
Non-Combatant A 41 yr old man in a game of Capture the flag with 20 10 yr old cub scouts
noncombatant - What I became when i realized I would never be the first commenter at Doug's place.
To be the first - that is the idea. To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else - these are the things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
~MARK TWAIN~
"i was pleased to be first today". ~puppybrose~
I agree with you Doug that the writing for Driftwood is great and rather poetic.....however, I find their redundant use of the F and C words coming from every character's mouth irritating,....perhaps I should send them a Thesaurus :) My point is that many words such as unmidigated...., damn blasted....., bloody...and you damn idiot could be used for f..k or a f..k up seems to me to be more of a 19th century way of speaking. As for the word C..t well that word should be taken out of the English language all together.
Mo'a who is Non-Combatant today.
Non-combatant... me when I tell you it is not Thursday hermanito! Tuesday, TUESDAY!
I mean that is as peaceful a manner as possible! Fo sho!
Ay... "in" as peaceful a manner as possible... IN! For shame BoheMia... FOR SHAME!!!
Let's all open our Geneva Conventions to Protocol I, 8, June 1977, Art 43.2 and skip the whole thing, because AG Gonzalez tried to lead us in a chorus of "noncombatant is a person who is fighting but is not a member of a regular armed force and who therefore do not enjoy the full protections of the Geneva Conventions" whereby the Supreme Court joined in with a chorus that sounded a lot like "They are entitled to habeas corpus anyway."
I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Since it brought us back up to a level of civilization that honors us as humans rather than disgracing us.
Now I join mutha in going limp. xoxo
Oh, and Doug
Yes, I am still a mosquito
Ah yes! Go change it why dontchya and now try to make me look crazy! Having frizzy hair does not a crazy being make!!!
This non-combatant thing is hard for bohemians... especially when dealing with a sibling... HARD I TELL YOU!
For some reason this makes me think of a conversation I had recently with Mr. Logo. He claims I don't understand measured retaliation. My theory is, if someone stomps your toes you knee them in the groin and grab a bat to be ready in case they didn't get the point. This results in being a non-combatant. Escalating slowly just encourages people to push the limits, right?
Non-Combatant: one who "speaks softly but carries a big stick" (Teddy Roosevelt(ish). by the way, Doug, did you know that Teddy met/became lifelong friends with Seth Bullock in 1884?)
okay... so i'm a Wikipediot, too. (another made up word you may feel free to use. or not.)
non-combatant: a person afraid of political blogging
I like CJ's comment.
Wow!!!Neva that is some great information on Seth Bullock....he looks like one of my very good friends who died of AIDS.....I mean the series actor. I am disapointed that they did not mention the language they used....OK!!!OK!!! I have ridden that horse to death.
I still love that show....in spite of the language.
Mo'a.... just so you know, the language, which is frightful but--i'm sorry to say--authentic, (and BRILLIANTLY written on the show), actually bothered Seth Bullock, too. (not the writing on the show, but the real, authentic cussing). so much so, that Bullock eventually saw to it that cussing in Deadwood was "verboten" (in honor of yesterday's word). i learned this on The History Channel, in a very good special on the Real Deadwood.
oh, and, as you may have noticed, he accomplished a lot in Deadwood without ever killing anyone. so, in a way, he was a somewhat non-combatant individual, right? (ear pulling notwithstanding)
i know. too much TV, right?
Mo'a & Mutha - I grew up watching M*A*S*H and will still stop & watch it if I'm flipping the dials (as I call channel surfing). That was some brilliant writing indeed.
Doug - Radar? You?! C'mon now. Btw, my favorite sequence with Radar was when Colonel Potter asked for a Snickers without peanuts and Radar said "yes sir, one Three Musketeers Bar coming right up".
Puppybrose - Too much tv? Does not compute. ;)
ya know, Sar, i totally forgot to compliment you on your M.A.S.H. quote earlier today. oh how i adore that show. like you, i rarely pass up a chance to watch. of course, i do the same with I Love Lucy, so that may not be saying much... (i saw the movie M.A.S.H. at the drive-in in Orange County when it first came out, and was blown away but the writing/ delivery/cinematography. it's still one of my ALL TIME favorites!) uh... where was i?
oh yeah...too much TV? i know. it doesn't compute. and yet, a girl (me) can't help but worry when just about every reference she has comes from some old movie and/or tv show! xo
nuncombatant: female religious with NO SENSE OF HUMOR AT ALL
Neva I defer to your authority....I don't watch nearly enough TV :) But I do learn a lot from my blog friends.
Legs up.....anyone willing to scratch my belly....wooof!!!!
Sorry is that Doug's line LOL :)
Mutha, I hate being passive-aggressive. Why do you make me?
TLP, I like yours better.
Puppybrose, if you can't say something mean...
Clever, Ariel!
Howdy, Jodes
Kyahgirl, I believe that.
Puppybrose, Oh boy.
Cooper, I'm fealing more and more like a man of peace these days.
V.I. It's good that you're a father not me. I find 10-year-olds perfect for combat. Perfect size and weight to really travel and at least 7 years past cute.
It's OK, Cooper. We have social promotion at Waking Ambrose.
Terry, perfect quote (he says drolly)
No shame, Miz B. I'm lucky to read today.
Mireille, I kind of enjoy the rule of law myself. Welcome home.
Hermana, but you're so gracious. (I can tell you've been itching for a fight all week.)
Absolutely, Logo. Stepping on the toe or speaking before 10AM and after 11. Let me be judged by the help I've given my neighbor to act right.
Puppybrose, I didn't know that but I'm loving your coinage lately. Someone should put up a Wikipedia entry for that.
RIght, Jamie Dawn and someone who gets tired of it is a dead quaker.
Mo'a, to be honest, I suspect the language is a little on the tame side, but it's nice to hear from a proper lady.
That's kind of what I suspected, Neva. I know a little bit of small towns in the West. They are wholesome, sober and God-fearing places only on election day and opening night.
Sar, Radar was from Otummwa Iowa. Dorky-looking midwesterners always have my sympathy.
Puppybrose that reminds me of a scene from Jackie Brown, when Bridget Fonda's character says "It depends on if your ambition is to get high and watch TV." (Sorry, I couldn't think of a TV scene it reminded me of)
First Nations, welcome back but I'm scandalized! Tut, tut!
Haha, Actonbell. It was Kumbayah in my day.
Mo'a, thanks for volunteering!
non-combatant: looks to the left and to the right...the last commentor.
unless you are in England where you have to look to the right first and then to the left.
Ariel - Can always count on you for that different perspective :)
G, you were apparently mistaken.
Ariel, good point.
G, still trying, huh? Good point, though, Ariel is the iconoclast on this site which should make her a sculptor.
They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but which one would you rather be hit over the head with?
Just askin' !
How sharp's the sword?
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