Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Towering
Story #58, in which a princess lets her hair down.
To hear the story, climb the tower.
Happy birthday to Sonia, benevolent despot.
This week in The Prattler, "Now for some Joementum."
you are certainly allowed your infrequent lapses in timely postings. so i believe there's no need to feel guilty just because i pulled myself out of bed a bit early on this Saturday morning in order to have a first glance at an expected delicious read. that i turn on my computer in anticipation of reading your weekly tale before i even have my coffee should be no concern of yours. that our dogs are lined up at the french doors that lead to the backyard, silently picking their spots while i anxiously click the link on the sidebar to your site should be the last thing to cause you to furrow your brow.
we'll manage without your well chosen and beautifully crafted words for a few more hours. somehow.
seriously? 11 TLP DT (TLP doug time?) seems beyond reasonable to one who leaves notes for beloved bloggirlfriends the night before in hopes one of 'em will do the posting honors for the day, in order to catch a few more zzz's herself! sleeping in is a very good thing from time to time. i'm glad to see you try it.
Oooh! An urban fairy tale by the Dawgy Doug! Now this I LIKE! Hermano, I humbly bow before you while I bite my tongue to shut my verbalicious mouth and sit here, quietly (HAH! Say the lil' Bohemians! HAH!), as I ponder your wondrous story and think of something remotely funny, intelligent or even witty to say... hell, I'll settle on something dammit!
Out for now! You are FUNKIFIED hermanito! I cannot wait for G and Tali to check in! Ooooweee!!!
I'm flabbergasted! To say we love the story is an understatement. This is quite an honor. Well all's forgiven for posting late - you can come on home.
This may be the first blog piece that Adrian will read (he's at the synagogue right now). That is the biggest compliment anyone will ever give you, believe me. We love the story. When I opened it - I said Tali! Doug's story is about you! When we gathered round, and read first, she said "I don't want to be a princess" but I assured her it was a fairy tale. She was quite happy by the tale's end. She liked the parking illegally part too - made us both laugh. Even though it is a fairy tale, you captured quite well the essence of Tali.
I'm sure that I never told anyone that my father called me Rapunzel when I was a little girl.
i would imagine Tali enjoying the fact that, while her Don Miguel was off doing his best Don Quixote impersonation, she was the one to identify/slay the evil dragon! i love the idea (realization?) that a modern-day princess can take care of herself, dammit! (something all little girls would do well to remember)
excellent and beautiful and OH-SO-VERY-FABULOUS, just like the family you wisely chose to portray!
BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!! (i loved it, can you tell?) and, may i add, this truly was WELL worth the wait! so glad Tali didn't say "Senator", too... it might have been tough to wipe all the greasy slime off her hands when she had completed her appointed task. xo
Doug, this is a fabulous piece. Your defination at the end was like putting a crown on glory -- it just made it shine all the brighter and stand that much taller. As I rejoice in finding your site I also languish in envy.
It also took me a while to figure who Tali was. I had heard and read the name before, but I couldn't quite put it. As I went through all your blogger buddies, nobody really fit the profile...until all was revealed. I know,sadly, still too little about Tali to be able to appreciate this story as the gang abive does. This shall be amended in the nearest future, I hope...since "g" and I are working more closely now;)
Doug, I am new here, I've been worned that you champion one of my contenders, but this seems like a "going out on a limb" kind of place, so here I go:
I am asking for your understanding of this shameless bit of promotion, after all I am trying to win a contest here -- two in fact! One for the best picture caption; one for the most shameless self-promotion (I am also hoping it is the most effective self promotion.)
Go to Belle of the Brawl and vote for Quilldancer! Don't even look at the other captions. Just trust me when I tell you mine is the best! But please, do say hello to Belle Sar while you're there - -and be sure to tell her Quilly sent you.
Doug, What a nice feeling to have a personal fairy tale. We shall put it right in with the Brothers Grimm.
Well, I'm off with the dragon slayer and her brother to the park. Other than the watermelon and park toys, I feel oddly relaxed that we can meet any eventuality that comes our way...
The only word I can come up with right now to describe my reation is "sweet," however that makes me sound like old, worn-out, ex-surfer dude... perhaps this is because I was out until 2 AM, so my mind isn't quite functioning properly... Anyway, I usually don't read blogs on the weekends, so actually reading one of the stories is a treat for me. Well done!
Well back from the park with the family and Grandma - nary a dragon or bully in sight. A few boys on bikes though. Don't worry Doug, Scissors' eyes are always trained on the landscape - nobody gets close.
Julian is walking around repeating lines emphatically from the story. Tali and Daddy are oh so cool - watching the evening soccer game. Well Julian and I will listen in again as the bedtime story.
Good night all. Hi Kyah! Oh and Happy Birthday Sonia whoever you are.
Quilldancer, you may have seen our number on the bathroom wall, but we are not easy. Our votes need to be coaxed out with say, I don't know, cookies seem to have worked well in the past for other contestants. Oh and good luck.
everytime i read this, it gets better! visions of Tali in her not-so-ivory tower, being rescued by a well-meaning-tho'-inept-yet-gallant(ish) prince; Tali sensing/seeing/acting upon the real danger, while her prince swings away a windmill... well it just makes me smile!
your word "gallant" also reminded me of a feature in the kids' magazine "Highlights", Goofus and Gallant. Goofus was, well... a doofus, and Gallant was a pansy bo... i mean, he did everything right. tho' Gallant was always curteous and thoughtful, i always thought Goofus was a lot more fun.
Happy Birthday to Sonia, don't know you, but i have no doubt you deserve a wonderful and joyous day!
Quilldancer? i have an excellent recipie for choc-chip-peanut-butter chip cookies that has served me well in the past... that said, don't hate me (because i really *do* love your caption) but TLP's line? pretty dang funny. however, with the right persuasion i too, can be swayed... we're partial to Mexican food.
g!! girlfriend! no dragons? no windmills? no well-intended-almost-gallant-but-not-so-much princes in the park today? enh... as long as you didn't have any crappy parents to contend with, i'm guessing you had a good day!
Doug -- obviously my campaign worked -- but read my post again -- I said TLP needs help, not me! As long as I have Donna and Lori I am unfairly armed. (I'm trying to work up a little guilt about that. Perhaps I'll suceed when this silly grin wears off.
Quilldancer, I believe you said I should help TLP and everyone else should vote for you. You should be in politics. That's an impressive number of votes from three voters.
Puppy, thanks for letting me know. I saw the link and thought all was as it should be. But it wasn't. Behind the lights and glamor of The Prattler, something was very, very wrong. I fixed the link.
Wonderful "tail", Doug! Loved the vivid imagry you created. First time I've actually heard anything from a computer, how cool! Can;t wait for Monday & a new word. I can be FF from now on, not anon! Yay! D
we spell it kifli, almost like you do. yeah, the world would be a worse place without it. I'm gonna buy kiflis and take photo of all the types we have here.
To hear the story, climb the tower.
41 comments:
Just checking for your story before hitting the road. Ah well. I can appreciate the needs of sleepy neurons.
At least I get to be first to say Good Morning, Doug! Have a great weekend all!
you are certainly allowed your infrequent lapses in timely postings. so i believe there's no need to feel guilty just because i pulled myself out of bed a bit early on this Saturday morning in order to have a first glance at an expected delicious read. that i turn on my computer in anticipation of reading your weekly tale before i even have my coffee should be no concern of yours. that our dogs are lined up at the french doors that lead to the backyard, silently picking their spots while i anxiously click the link on the sidebar to your site should be the last thing to cause you to furrow your brow.
we'll manage without your well chosen and beautifully crafted words for a few more hours. somehow.
seriously? 11 TLP DT (TLP doug time?) seems beyond reasonable to one who leaves notes for beloved bloggirlfriends the night before in hopes one of 'em will do the posting honors for the day, in order to catch a few more zzz's herself! sleeping in is a very good thing from time to time. i'm glad to see you try it.
Oooh! An urban fairy tale by the Dawgy Doug! Now this I LIKE! Hermano, I humbly bow before you while I bite my tongue to shut my verbalicious mouth and sit here, quietly (HAH! Say the lil' Bohemians! HAH!), as I ponder your wondrous story and think of something remotely funny, intelligent or even witty to say... hell, I'll settle on something dammit!
Out for now! You are FUNKIFIED hermanito! I cannot wait for G and Tali to check in! Ooooweee!!!
I'm flabbergasted! To say we love the story is an understatement. This is quite an honor. Well all's forgiven for posting late - you can come on home.
This may be the first blog piece that Adrian will read (he's at the synagogue right now). That is the biggest compliment anyone will ever give you, believe me. We love the story. When I opened it - I said Tali! Doug's story is about you! When we gathered round, and read first, she said "I don't want to be a princess" but I assured her it was a fairy tale. She was quite happy by the tale's end. She liked the parking illegally part too - made us both laugh. Even though it is a fairy tale, you captured quite well the essence of Tali.
I'm sure that I never told anyone that my father called me Rapunzel when I was a little girl.
I have to go listen again...
i would imagine Tali enjoying the fact that, while her Don Miguel was off doing his best Don Quixote impersonation, she was the one to identify/slay the evil dragon! i love the idea (realization?) that a modern-day princess can take care of herself, dammit! (something all little girls would do well to remember)
excellent and beautiful and OH-SO-VERY-FABULOUS, just like the family you wisely chose to portray!
BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!! (i loved it, can you tell?) and, may i add, this truly was WELL worth the wait! so glad Tali didn't say "Senator", too... it might have been tough to wipe all the greasy slime off her hands when she had completed her appointed task. xo
Very nicely done, Doug, as always. I think this Tali story has a special flare, actually.
This is a really, really good one. You have so much talent Douglas. Truly.
Doug, this is a fabulous piece. Your defination at the end was like putting a crown on glory -- it just made it shine all the brighter and stand that much taller. As I rejoice in finding your site I also languish in envy.
This was a wonderful story. And Sonia, please accept my birthday wishes, too. And my admiration. xoxo
Oooh I love princess stories! And with a dragon!! Whoo-hoo!!
Now I'm off to slay my own dragon...it is called "condo cleaning". sigh
I don´t get the senator reference at all :(
It also took me a while to figure who Tali was. I had heard and read the name before, but I couldn't quite put it. As I went through all your blogger buddies, nobody really fit the profile...until all was revealed.
I know,sadly, still too little about Tali to be able to appreciate this story as the gang abive does. This shall be amended in the nearest future, I hope...since "g" and I are working more closely now;)
Sar, sorry I missed you.
Puppybrose, where do you go to school to learn shame and flattery in the same paragraph?
Gracias, hermana. And for teaching Tali the art of Dragon-slaying. BAILISTE!
Thanks, G. Glad it worked.
Puppybrose, that kid chooses well.
Thanks, Aral. The kid I only know from two comments she's left here but she has a special flare that comes out quickly.
*blush* Thanks, TLP!
And thank you, Actonbell.
Quilldancer, no need for envy. Facetiousness makes better currency.
Thanks, Mireille, and I'll see that Sonia gets your wish. Thanks for that, too.
Jenna, I proudly boast that this is my second princess and dragon story. The first was on Minka's blog. Goodluck with your fire-breathing condo.
Sorry, Minka. I was thinking of a job with nastier responsibilities.
Doug, are you certain I wasn't being facetious?
My personal motto: Never spoil a good story for the sake of the truth. Followed closely by: Always leave them guessing.
I just re-read...you had to bring gravity into it, didnæt ye?!
Doug, I am new here, I've been worned that you champion one of my contenders, but this seems like a "going out on a limb" kind of place, so here I go:
I am asking for your understanding of this shameless bit of promotion, after all I am trying to win a contest here -- two in fact! One for the best picture caption; one for the most shameless self-promotion (I am also hoping it is the most effective self promotion.)
Go to Belle of the Brawl and vote for Quilldancer! Don't even look at the other captions. Just trust me when I tell you mine is the best! But please, do say hello to Belle Sar while you're there - -and be sure to tell her Quilly sent you.
Thanks!
Doug, What a nice feeling to have a personal fairy tale. We shall put it right in with the Brothers Grimm.
Well, I'm off with the dragon slayer and her brother to the park. Other than the watermelon and park toys, I feel oddly relaxed that we can meet any eventuality that comes our way...
Great story Doug! Slay those dragons Tali!
Thanks, Brian. You're a rakish gent, aren't you?
Quilldancer, you make a great point. A fantastic point. I'm sure that's about the best point ever.
Minka, I thought a flightless water fowl would appreciate that. My bad.
Like, I said before, Quilldancer, this is TLP country. It's also be yourselfland and that was a fantastic caption. I laughed out loud.
G, that's very nice to hear. Tell Tali that Doug says stay away from boys on bikes.
Thanks, Joel. I think with the right encuragement, Tali can be one of the great dragon-slayers ever.
If this is TLP country you better get over there and help her out -- but not too much!
Still, knowing I made someone laugh is almost better than a win -- but only almost.
The only word I can come up with right now to describe my reation is "sweet," however that makes me sound like old, worn-out, ex-surfer dude... perhaps this is because I was out until 2 AM, so my mind isn't quite functioning properly...
Anyway, I usually don't read blogs on the weekends, so actually reading one of the stories is a treat for me.
Well done!
What a great story for Tali! She and g and the gang must be beaming with pride.
Also, I like your feminist leanings. Good dog.
And Happy Birthday to Sonia. We need more benevolent despots :-)
Well back from the park with the family and Grandma - nary a dragon or bully in sight. A few boys on bikes though. Don't worry Doug, Scissors' eyes are always trained on the landscape - nobody gets close.
Julian is walking around repeating lines emphatically from the story. Tali and Daddy are oh so cool - watching the evening soccer game. Well Julian and I will listen in again as the bedtime story.
Good night all. Hi Kyah! Oh and Happy Birthday Sonia whoever you are.
Quilldancer, you may have seen our number on the bathroom wall, but we are not easy. Our votes need to be coaxed out with say, I don't know, cookies seem to have worked well in the past for other contestants. Oh and good luck.
everytime i read this, it gets better! visions of Tali in her not-so-ivory tower, being rescued by a well-meaning-tho'-inept-yet-gallant(ish) prince; Tali sensing/seeing/acting upon the real danger, while her prince swings away a windmill... well it just makes me smile!
your word "gallant" also reminded me of a feature in the kids' magazine "Highlights", Goofus and Gallant. Goofus was, well... a doofus, and Gallant was a pansy bo... i mean, he did everything right. tho' Gallant was always curteous and thoughtful, i always thought Goofus was a lot more fun.
Happy Birthday to Sonia, don't know you, but i have no doubt you deserve a wonderful and joyous day!
Quilldancer? i have an excellent recipie for choc-chip-peanut-butter chip cookies that has served me well in the past... that said, don't hate me (because i really *do* love your caption) but TLP's line? pretty dang funny. however, with the right persuasion i too, can be swayed... we're partial to Mexican food.
g!! girlfriend! no dragons? no windmills? no well-intended-almost-gallant-but-not-so-much princes in the park today? enh... as long as you didn't have any crappy parents to contend with, i'm guessing you had a good day!
You got it Puppy!
Quilldancer, I went over there and you had 500+ votes. What's all the whining about?
Hi, Solace! It's gnarly to see you here on a Saturday, dudette.
Thanks, Kyah. Anything for the ladies.
G, I thought soccer was done for a few years. Thanks for sharing about Julian. It made my day that the story brightened yours.
Haha, Puppy. I had an uh-oh moment went G mentioned the park. Goofus and Gallant must be since my time, like the internet and horseless carriage.
Doug -- obviously my campaign worked -- but read my post again -- I said TLP needs help, not me! As long as I have Donna and Lori I am unfairly armed. (I'm trying to work up a little guilt about that. Perhaps I'll suceed when this silly grin wears off.
eh, Sonny? speak up! or move in a little closer so's i can smack that smug face of yours... better yet, where's Tali?
by the way...
Kansas: "A land where fish never grew legs, humans never learned reason, monkeys have wings"... and the Prattler seeks no feedback.
(what's up with that?)
Puppy - haha! She's already got a smear campaign going!
Doug - You know that soccer is never done! Don't let Minka see that comment!
Thanks again for this wonderful tale! I know it would sound biased, but you really do spin a wonderful yarn.
Quilldancer, I believe you said I should help TLP and everyone else should vote for you. You should be in politics. That's an impressive number of votes from three voters.
Puppy, thanks for letting me know. I saw the link and thought all was as it should be. But it wasn't. Behind the lights and glamor of The Prattler, something was very, very wrong. I fixed the link.
Thanks, G. Sounds biased.
Wonderful "tail", Doug! Loved the vivid imagry you created. First time I've actually heard anything from a computer, how cool! Can;t wait for Monday & a new word. I can be FF from now on, not anon! Yay! D
I see the Centralsnark ladies can never chitchat enough :)
hey you guys and kyah...welcome back to the block. That was some long vacation you took!
hi, Tali, I figured the dragon had no chance from what I heard of you from your mother. a Senator wouldn't have had, even... well done, little girl.
Happy Birthday, Sonia, many more years of nice despotism for you!
That was sweet doug and not in the wayof confection.
Tali is not only a princess, but a dragon slayer too.
What a fanciful tale!
Don Alberto needs some lessons in chivalry.
FelineFrisky, welcome to the other side of the looking glass.
Minka, I hadn't noticed that about the Central Snark ladies.
Ariel, thanks and thanks. I'll pass your message along.
Thanks, Alice. I wanted to see how the other half lived.
He sure does, Jamie Dawn. Some kids.
Ariel, thanks for the comment. My mom told me you are Hungarian. Do you know about kiflie? (I have no idea how to spell it but it tastes great.)
Doug, Thanks for the story. a lot of people like it.
My pleasure, Tali. I'm glad to have entertained a lot of people. Thanks for starring.
we spell it kifli, almost like you do. yeah, the world would be a worse place without it. I'm gonna buy kiflis and take photo of all the types we have here.
Thanks again Doug.
Ariel, when Tali's grandma makes a fresh batch, we'll take some pics as well.
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