By popular demand, Old Mule is back for a reading. To hear it, click on Coyote (above.) Thanks, brother mule.
Click on Crow to read along.
The rising People, hot and out of breath,
Roared around the palace: "Liberty or death!"
"If death will do," the King said, "let me reign;
You'll have, I'm sure, no reason to complain."—Martha Braymance
'Tis said by divers of the scholar-men
That poor Salmasius died of Milton's pen.
Alas! we cannot know if this is true,
For reading Milton's wit we perish too.
I sit astride Parnassus with my lyre,
And pick with care the disobedient wire.
That stupid shepherd lolling on his crook
With deaf attention scarcely deigns to look.
I bide my time, and it shall come at length,
When, with a Titan's energy and strength,
I'll grab a fistful of the strings, and O,
The word shall suffer when I let them go!—Farquharson Harris
The wretch who first called gentlewomen ladies,Being first duly hanged, arrived at HadesWhere, welcomed by the devils to their den,He bowed and said "Good morning-gentlemen."
"My chin is bare, my hair is dressed!I'm reduced to a young girl, no less!Is the bearded lady on the midway,A gentlewoman would you say?"
Observe with care, my son, the distinction I reveal:A gentleman is gentle and a gent genteel.Heed not the definitions your "Unabridged" presents,For dictionary makers are generally gents.GJ
"'Tis Britain's boast that knighthood of the GarterWas ne'er conferred upon a cad or carter;Well, any thrifty and ambitious flunkeyCan drive a bargain- few can drive a donkey."So the proud cynic. Some ensuing dickerGave him that pretty bauble for his kicker.
Among those things one shouldn't mention,It's modesty commands attention.Those things that are kept most in secretAre the same as those we most would peek atThe blessing of the modern ageIs that secrets have become the rageAnd those that once had been rarest,Today, even the coward darest.-Alistair Bakke
So plain the advantages of machination2008 Update: A little boy with tears in his eyes, a pout on his lips and ice cream on his mind, as staged by his uncle.
It constitutes a moral obligation,
And honest wolves who think upon't with loathing
Feel bound to don the sheep's deceptive clothing.
So prospers still the diplomatic art,
And Satan bows, with hand upon his heart.
"I had an ovation!" the actor man said,2008 Update: The jostling, shouting, waving, slapping, clapping, spitting eruption that stagecraft compels from a polite audience.
But I thought it uncommonly queer,
That people and critics by him had been led
By the ear.
The Latin lexicon makes his absurd
Assertion as plain as a peg;
In "ovum" we find the true root of the word.
It means egg.—Dudley Spink