Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Mouth
Mouth, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.
2005 Update: A conduit for the blessings of poetry, food and bile.
Mouth, n. In dddragon's case, the thing that is often used before the brain is engaged. Source of amusement to those around when "up your hose with a rubber nose" or "on the sperm of the moment" is uttered. Misuse of is frequently blamed on not being able to see around the eye teeth.
Dddragon, "Got his tongue caught around his eye teeth and can't see what he's saying" is one of my favorite phrases of all time. What makes it especially good is everytime I try to use it, it comes out wrong รก la Dddragon.
Exodus 4:11 And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord? Exodus 4:12 Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.
And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth. -Exodus 23:13
MOUTH,N. That which holds a long ,slithery, rather ugly and often forked moving piece of muscle which prevents it being the gateway to anything especially the soul.
1) An instrument used to make suggestions of action that you would not perform yourself, in the hopes that someone somewhere will hear it and pick up on it.
2) An instrument used to deny that the suggestions meant what they sounded like.
Mouth, n. A venomous, sloshing Sarlac Pit, wherein the internal is externalized, and dead animals--minced and roasted--are consumed
ReplyDelete)+(.
Mouth,n. Natural opening used for good, i.e. to agree with me, or evil, i.e. to disagree with me.
ReplyDeleteMouth,vt. To utter bombastically, see platitude .
Men have souls? Uh oh!
ReplyDeleteBrb...
Ottoman for the fool.
ReplyDeleteMmmm. Dead animals minced and roasted! Thanks, Gabriel!
ReplyDeleteI agree, TLP.
Yes, Revi, apostates call it "stomach." I like the picture, by the way.
Tom, that's smart.
"In man, the gateway to the soul..."
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a fortune I once found in a stale cookie that read:
Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their toungues.
(Nicely done Actonbell!)
Mouth, n. In dddragon's case, the thing that is often used before the brain is engaged. Source of amusement to those around when "up your hose with a rubber nose" or "on the sperm of the moment" is uttered. Misuse of is frequently blamed on not being able to see around the eye teeth.
ReplyDeleteActonbell, which mouth?
ReplyDeleteThat's funny, Sar. I'm living proof.
Dddragon, "Got his tongue caught around his eye teeth and can't see what he's saying" is one of my favorite phrases of all time. What makes it especially good is everytime I try to use it, it comes out wrong รก la Dddragon.
Mouth, n. the usual entrance that a Tok'ra symbiote uses to get into the body of the host.
ReplyDeletemouth, n. The host for a muscular organ that allows to taste, lick or otherwise engage in rather wet adventures.
ReplyDeleteMouth -- the surname of Ralph on Happy Days?
ReplyDeleteGoa'uld, I did not know that. I'm studyin' real hard, tho'
ReplyDeleteMonika! Young lady, this is a family blog! I suppose your sister's engagement pushed you right over that line, huh? You left out poking.
Well, yes, Aral as a matter of fact. I think the orifice was named after that character. Donny Most, right?
Doug, I did make nothing obvious. It is your imagination that harms this family blog ;)
ReplyDeletemouth-whether open or closed, often the reason for most arguments
ReplyDeleteIt always is, Monika.
ReplyDeleteMasil, that's why I'm learning to speak through my nose.
Exodus 4:11 And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord?
ReplyDeleteExodus 4:12 Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.
And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth. -Exodus 23:13
ReplyDeleteToo much religion here today.
ReplyDeleteMOUTH,N. That which holds a long ,slithery, rather ugly and often forked moving piece of muscle which prevents it being the gateway to anything especially the soul.
Mouth: my current enemy (along with high caloric food)
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping to undergo a temporary mouthectomy. Know any good doctors?
automatically closes (and e'er so often) to the stimulii, 'Shut Up!'
ReplyDeleteAlice, you're an old soul. Kind of a funny one, though.
ReplyDeleteJamie Dawn, if I knew a good mouthectomist I'd be well.
Rarely in my case, Karma.
Multimedia I/O portal
ReplyDeleteGood one, anonymous.
ReplyDeleteThe true arbiter of good taste.
ReplyDeleteAnd the source of bad taste?
ReplyDelete1) An instrument used to make suggestions of action that you would not perform yourself, in the hopes that someone somewhere will hear it and pick up on it.
ReplyDelete2) An instrument used to deny that the suggestions meant what they sounded like.
A muscle for moving the bones of others?
ReplyDelete