Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Duty
Duty, n. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
Sir Lavender Portwine, in favor at court, Was wroth at his master, who'd kissed Lady Port. His anger provoked him to take the king's head, But duty prevailed and he took the king's bread, Instead. G.J.
Doug was a fine cowboy from Texas Who traded his steed for a Lexus Entranced by this beauty He forgot his duty And wondered what the darn heck was wrong with us
Dear Miss Karma, You are a beloved member of the Ambrosians, and no one could say otherwise. And there's no one who loves calling Doug out for a retreat into suburbia than I, his loyal Chocolatier. But in his current state of bloggy blissfulness, he may need a third party to come to his defense. Doug never traded his steed for a Lexus. I don't rule out him ever owning one, but you can be sure that that car will be the equiniest automobile you ever saw, fit best for long bumpy passages into the wilderness, and attending primarily to canine passengers, which include most of his friends and family.
Alice, duty us an honor like watching the baseball game.
Icy, Howdy is a dog's duty.
Andrew, it's true. When you can say it with deep gravity it works really well.
Karma, I am so very, very not from Texas and I drive a Ford Ranger. What is wrong with you? On the other hand, I bet that's the first poem ever written about me, and a Limerick at that.
S, I was responding diplomatically to Karma when you posted. You're a good friend although you failed to answer the more scurrilous charge. As a cowboy, I was all cattle no hat. In Texas the reverse is typical. Thanks, pal.
Monika, that sounds right. I wouldn't actually know.
Lula, you're some kind of prodigy.
You heard right, TLP, semisweet1's semi-apt name comes from the fact that he's a third-generation candymaker. I doubt his family's store has a peer in New York. Waking Ambrose endorses his marshmallows which have been part of every Valentine's Day gift I've given in the last decade. One year I ordered two boxes, but the less said about that the better.
Dddragon, TLP and others: Semisweet1 isn't a blogger, he's my old college roommate, Stan, referred to in the birthday story I posted when it wasn't my birthday. His family owns Schwartz Candies on Long Island. The candy is home-made and amazing. It's not out of friendship or bias that I say their home-made marshmallows are better than anything I've tasted from any other place. To get you some, call 1-800-522-CHOC. I will now return to my non-commercial, cynical dourness.
Apologies to the Author, but I feel it is my Duty to interject the following responses.
TLP, you have been carefully vetted by the Author, and appear to be a prime candidate for chocolate. Your definition of Temptation was quite edifying.
dddragon, I'm a poster, formerly anonymous, not a blogger. Thank you for your encouragement.
To the Author: I thought you were giving out my stats on the sidelines. You see, even direct telephonic communication can lead to misunderstanding. But I am satisfied. In the future, every blog participant will have one post of fame (lasting considerably less than 15 minutes.)
It is my duty to pursue the chocolate covered marshmallows earlier described in this post ... I LOVE CHOCOLATE COVERED MARSHMALLOWS, they are such a contradiction , milk chocolate over white marshmallow, one crinkly, the other mallowy, I especially like biting the heads off any seasonal version: rabbit (rabbit!), Santa, pumpkin or even just round-shaped ones ... hmmmmmmm. *goes off to continue reverie by herself* xoxo
Duty: The charge customs levy on our excesses.
ReplyDeleteDuty,n., The very stuff of life.
ReplyDeleteGenerally found along the most painful path. You go first. I'm right behind you.
On my annual vacation in Aruba, it is my solemn duty to shop duty free until the stores close and their staff are off duty.
ReplyDeleteduty is killing whether it's toward profit or desire. Ambrose's definition is just perfect.
ReplyDeleteduty: sometimes the reason we get out of bed in the morning, and don't hide under the covers!
ReplyDeleteExcesses? How can such an efficient manner of buying booze be an excess. It's leanness itself.
ReplyDeleteTLP, don't follow me, I may not lead. Blog beside and shirk it all.
Sar, your devotion inspires us all.
Ariel, you Magyars are raised tough, aren't you?
Pia, I consider hiding under the covers a noble duty. Think of all the villainy not committed that way.
duty,n. a tit for that we engage in despite the bitter after taste it often leaves.
ReplyDeleteHowdy. Oh, uh, mmmm. I am utterly confused.
ReplyDeleteDuty, n. A common reason given for betraying those who have a right to expect better from you.
ReplyDeleteDoug was a fine cowboy from Texas
ReplyDeleteWho traded his steed for a Lexus
Entranced by this beauty
He forgot his duty
And wondered what the darn heck was wrong with us
Dear Miss Karma,
ReplyDeleteYou are a beloved member of the Ambrosians, and no one could say otherwise. And there's no one who loves calling Doug out for a retreat into suburbia than I, his loyal Chocolatier. But in his current state of bloggy blissfulness, he may need a third party to come to his defense. Doug never traded his steed for a Lexus. I don't rule out him ever owning one, but you can be sure that that car will be the equiniest automobile you ever saw, fit best for long bumpy passages into the wilderness, and attending primarily to canine passengers, which include most of his friends and family.
Continue mocking as you were.
Alice, duty us an honor like watching the baseball game.
ReplyDeleteIcy, Howdy is a dog's duty.
Andrew, it's true. When you can say it with deep gravity it works really well.
Karma, I am so very, very not from Texas and I drive a Ford Ranger. What is wrong with you? On the other hand, I bet that's the first poem ever written about me, and a Limerick at that.
S, I was responding diplomatically to Karma when you posted. You're a good friend although you failed to answer the more scurrilous charge. As a cowboy, I was all cattle no hat. In Texas the reverse is typical. Thanks, pal.
duty, n. rules and regualtions stipulated by those who know no better than us. Nontheless, they make life less complicated.
ReplyDeleteCHOCOLATE. I heard CHOCOLATE. I wasn't even on-line, and I heard it clearly.
ReplyDeleteSo, where the heck is mine mister chocolatier?
Monika, that sounds right. I wouldn't actually know.
ReplyDeleteLula, you're some kind of prodigy.
You heard right, TLP, semisweet1's semi-apt name comes from the fact that he's a third-generation candymaker. I doubt his family's store has a peer in New York. Waking Ambrose endorses his marshmallows which have been part of every Valentine's Day gift I've given in the last decade. One year I ordered two boxes, but the less said about that the better.
It is semisweet1's duty to have a blog so that we might get to know this mysterious blogger!
ReplyDeleteDid ya know that Milton Hershey had tickets on the ill-fated Titanic? Yup. Didn't go. Thank goodness!!
Dddragon, TLP and others: Semisweet1 isn't a blogger, he's my old college roommate, Stan, referred to in the birthday story I posted when it wasn't my birthday. His family owns Schwartz Candies on Long Island. The candy is home-made and amazing. It's not out of friendship or bias that I say their home-made marshmallows are better than anything I've tasted from any other place. To get you some, call 1-800-522-CHOC. I will now return to my non-commercial, cynical dourness.
ReplyDeleteOh, and the chocolate-covered jellies and crunchmallows are spectacular, too.
ReplyDeleteOK, now.
Apologies to the Author, but I feel it is my Duty to interject the following responses.
ReplyDeleteTLP, you have been carefully vetted by the Author, and appear to be a prime candidate for chocolate. Your definition of Temptation was quite edifying.
dddragon, I'm a poster, formerly anonymous, not a blogger. Thank you for your encouragement.
To the Author: I thought you were giving out my stats on the sidelines. You see, even direct telephonic communication can lead to misunderstanding. But I am satisfied. In the future, every blog participant will have one post of fame (lasting considerably less than 15 minutes.)
Duty~
ReplyDeleteWhat one does when one "should"s on oneself.
"I suppose I should get out of bed and go to work."
Ariella, thanks for dutifully getting us back on topic. I think today's word should have been Avarice.
ReplyDeleteDuty: What a dog does on the carpet.
ReplyDeleteIt's his duty after all.
It is my duty to pursue the chocolate covered marshmallows earlier described in this post ... I LOVE CHOCOLATE COVERED MARSHMALLOWS, they are such a contradiction , milk chocolate over white marshmallow, one crinkly, the other mallowy, I especially like biting the heads off any seasonal version: rabbit (rabbit!), Santa, pumpkin or even just round-shaped ones ... hmmmmmmm. *goes off to continue reverie by herself* xoxo
ReplyDeleteDuty, n. The pathway to avoiding feelings of guilt.
ReplyDeleteJamie Dawn, that mainly happens when the duty to walk the dog get forgotten.
ReplyDeleteMireille, I betcha you thank me.
Aral I think you brought the two topics together on that one.
Excellent division of labor, Actonbell!
its an innocent nonsense rhyme, half-sugar. and far removed from your business.
ReplyDeletei accept apologies in marshmallows, though
But home=made ones right, Karma? Don't give it away.
ReplyDeleteDoug, we Magyars like to get away with duty more than what is healthy. and it doesn't give us a long life!
ReplyDeleteDuty: That which is imposed upon us when mere guilt is not suffiecient.
ReplyDelete(I'm hooked...I knew if I started I wouldn't be able to quit.)
Ariel, live well.
ReplyDeleteSara, I like your definition. Glad to be your pusher.