Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Dear Mr. "Satire Clause," if that is your real name: Dumping your "North Pole Enterprises" stock on your elves is NOT the same as providing them with a pension plan, and we feel we were within our rights in suggesting that you were doing an "En-ron" around your contractual obligations to them. We were under no necessity to save energy, thanks to the coal you kindly provided. Good luck in unfreezing your assets.
Merry Christmas Satire Santa, I was quite surprised when you showed up on my blog, you are also here...I guess Doug is renting his blog to you for today?! Say hi to him for me, will you!?
that was one impressing "Merry Christams", it made me take my sins in my mind and regret them all...
Santa visits a kindergarten, all the children are very happy. he steps to a cute five year old blonde and says, 'If you give me a kiss, I'll give you a candy'. 'And will you give me the entire bag if I go down on you?', the girlie wants to know.
Merry Christmas Santa! What a good-looking guy you are!!
ReplyDeleteSanta baby, that means you forgot the batteries, right? ♥ xoxo
ReplyDeleteBeing cute is no excuse - there's no potty breaks for Santa! ;)
ReplyDeleteMeeeeeeerry Christmas to you, Doug.
And just why am here in blogland on Christmas Day? Because I love you guys!
ReplyDeleteYou're sweet to not leave me the coal that I earned! And to think I didn't get you anything.
Merry Christmas Doug!
Merry Christmas from one tired Santa to another.
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. "Satire Clause," if that is your real name:
ReplyDeleteDumping your "North Pole Enterprises" stock on your elves is NOT the same as providing them with a pension plan, and we feel we were within our rights in suggesting that you were doing an "En-ron" around your contractual obligations to them.
We were under no necessity to save energy, thanks to the coal you kindly provided.
Good luck in unfreezing your assets.
Merry Christmas Satire Santa, I was quite surprised when you showed up on my blog, you are also here...I guess Doug is renting his blog to you for today?! Say hi to him for me, will you!?
ReplyDeleteHave a woofy woofy Christmas! *crotch sniff* Yeah! You're the real one!
ReplyDeleteI assume that's your pic Doug, right, dressed as Santa? Ohhh...so cute! :D And isn't that also your voice? :)
ReplyDeleteSo dear Santa, what will you bring me cos I haven't seen you in ages? And you better do a good job this year. I've had it :(
How did your X-mas go?
Doug,
ReplyDeleteSo now that you know the true me, can we keep it a secret. I've got a rep to maintain ya know.
Merry Christmas. And we mean it.
Why is Santa lurking so near the men's room? Just askin'.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, Doug!!
Dear Satire Claus, what lurks behind that mass of white hair?
ReplyDeleteIt is true good or true evil?
I\'m last so I should get something special. I get to pull off the beard right. ;0
Merry twenty minutes after Christmas SS.
Merry Christmas, Satire Claus!
ReplyDeleteMerry christmas to you too!
ReplyDeletecan i sit on your lap, Santa?
ReplyDeletethat was one impressing "Merry Christams", it made me take my sins in my mind and regret them all...
ReplyDeleteSanta visits a kindergarten, all the children are very happy. he steps to a cute five year old blonde and says, 'If you give me a kiss, I'll give you a candy'. 'And will you give me the entire bag if I go down on you?', the girlie wants to know.
I mistook you for Doug back in my blog... forgive me Satire Clause... I don't want any coal in my stocking!
ReplyDeleteLove the MEEEERRY-ness of your CHRISTMAS!
Hope you are getting some rest after this year's deliveries!