TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice.
2006 Update: A contraption of mirrors and lenses allowing desolation and emptiness to be observed at a distance.
Announcement: Karma put together a web page containing last Saturday's story with the terrific extensions added by herself and Ariel. Download it here.
well, here I am, first, without really anything to say.
ReplyDeleteoh, my Girl Scout troop had a niece of the Hubble space telescope come and speak last year.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know the Hubble space telescope had a niece:)
ReplyDeleteTelescope: An instrument created to encourage the claim, "I see it! I see it!"
loved both definitions Doug.
ReplyDeleteThat's all I can think of to say until I've had coffee. I'll be back.
oh mutha-very funny :-)
Device that helps put life in perspective.
ReplyDeleteNice to see you first, Dddragon! If telescopes have talking nieces, the rise of the machines must be near.
ReplyDeleteRight, Mutha. I hear you! I hear you!
Kyahgirl, we'll be here when you get back.
Weirsdo, life on Mars?
Telescope: The next best thing to the Internet for bringing things far apart close together.
ReplyDeleteGreat for watching hot guys with when the binoculars just aren't strong enough.
ReplyDeleteI seeeeee you.
Telescope: What your enemy sees you through with all your flaws, looking for the slightest error. A friend or a beloved one wouldn't see you through that.
ReplyDeleteHi Doug :) It's Marwa here!
The Earth is passing through the tail of Comet Thatcher and you can see about ten meteors or falling stars per hour and with a telescope you can see explosions on the moon where they hit if you look just before dawn Saturday morning. I read this on Spaceweather.com
ReplyDeleteIndie, we should work on a gigantic magnet or linen sale or something.
ReplyDeleteJenna, I wondered who would go the voyeur route. That's not me, that's my cabana boy.
You're right, Marwa. A loved one watches you through gauze.
Well, good morning anyhow, Cowgirl. Jamie Dawn's what cracks you up?
How cool, Icy! Good dog! Comet Thatcher should be a joke.
Telescope, n. A tube in which the emptiness of outer space can find its mate within.
ReplyDelete(And yeah...I finally updated. I'm sure you'll all be gloriously offended by this one...)
)+(
The rise of the machines, eh?
ReplyDeleteFigures that Jamie Dawn's family would be involved in the melding of man and machine. No one can be that wholesome without something sinister going on, I know this because I have watch movies.
Telescope -- Device used by the Television Doctor to determine how much to charge for repairs.
ReplyDeleteCowgirl, you definitely need more coffee! I looked with my telescope and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find Jamie Dawn in these comment boxes!!!
ReplyDelete*hands binoculars to cowgirl*
I think that's our Jenna you're seeing missy!!
Telescope: not the right tool for the job in such a close group as this one :-)
I love star gazing.
ReplyDeleteWell, welcome back, Gabriel.
ReplyDeleteLogo, every one of those movies is about Jamie Dawn. They all are.
Good one, Village Idiot. Clever.
Thanks, Kyahgirl, for going easy on my friend, Cowgirl.
It's good, isn't it Jodes?
Cowgirl, doing astronomy no doubt?
telescope is the next best thing to motion picture.
ReplyDeleteMarwa, is that why we can expect sincerity from our enemies only?
no Peeping Tom can do without one in the whole galaxy
ReplyDeletemy browser doesn't let me download the story. :-(
ReplyDeleteCowgirl, we'll see your compliment gets to the right place. And I thought so.
ReplyDeleteOh, Ariel, that's clever. Dark but clever.
Good one, Karma.
Ariel, I had trouble converting to something I could just link to. I'll try again.
Being a natural voyeur I'd have to go with Jenna on this one.
ReplyDeletecowgirl....;)
Yeah I figured it was your cousin or something. Always saving the distressed.
Ohh,
ReplyDeleteYou humor me today,
Calling me out to play,
With your telescope eyes, metal teeth,
I can't be seen with you, you see
Please don't make me cry,
Please don't make me cry,
I'm just like you I know you know,
I'm just like you so leave me alone,
I wonder, why can't you see,
You're just not near enough like me,
With your telescope eyes,
Metal teeth, I, can't be seen with you,
Please don't make me cry,
Please don't make me cry,
I'm just like you I know you know,
Im just like you so leave me alone,
Please don't make me cry,
Please don't make me cry,
I'm just like you I know you know,
I'm just like you so leave me alone,
Please don't make me cry,
Please don't make me cry,
I'm just like you I know you know,
I'm just like you so leave me alone.
Oh, you humor me today...
Telescope... unlimited access into the homes of fellow San Franciscans from a rooftop on Bush and Steiner...
ReplyDeleteGood times...
Apparently, I'm cracking people up today without even being here!
ReplyDeleteI think Cowgirl used a telescope this morning and watched me on my elliptical trainer. That would crack anybody up.
Logo knows our family secret.
Truth is, kids used to call me Jamie Summers when I was in Junior High because of the Bionic Woman character. Little did they know... I am half robot. I have the Wholesome Chip firmly embedded into my circuitry.
TELESCOPE, n. Intelligence linked to an optical device to instruct it where to go and what to observe. Formerly, the intelligence was known as a "man"[sic], but at present it is normally a computer, leaving the men free to spy into Jamie Dawn's bedroom.
ReplyDeleteLook for TeleScope® in your favorite university bookstore. It's in the Student Aids isle, right next to Cliff's Notes.
Cowgirl, looks like your Friday is just getting better and better.
ReplyDeleteRight, Cooper, you can tell be the compassion and the floppy ears. That's my dad.
Shayna, I really like the cadence of that song. Oh, thanks Cowgirl for naming that tune.
Jamie Dawn, glad to know your v-chip still works. I can't imagine your blog without it.
O Ceallaigh, Jamie Dawn's a lady. And practices witchcraft. I'd be careful.
Jamie D a witch? Now there's a thought. My research is linked to global warming. In America, under our current government, I might be better off as a toad. Beats being a toady.
ReplyDeleteghatsnz - what the Russians really found when they opened up their society.
hi again, its heartwarming to see how much mileage we're getting out of cowgirl's bleary eyed morning perusal of the blog. :-)
ReplyDeleteLive what down, Cowgirl?
ReplyDeleteToad it is, then O Ceallaigh. I'll see if Jamie Dawn can arrange it.
Kyahgirl, you be sweet now.
Guess Cowgirl was out boozin' it up last night. (Tryin' to make sure that no one forgets the mistake she made.) But I feel obligated to also make sure that 3D doesn't live down her endowing a telescope with a niece. Just tryin' to pile on the embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteBoth telescopes and binoculars are most often used to peer at things from the tops of mountains or tall buildings. Things that we could easily see up close and personal before we climbed those things. Somehow things are more fascinating seen from afar and through a lens.
and let me just pipe in here to say that you better not cut back on your perusals, bleary eyed or otherwise-you are so much fun.
ReplyDeleteDoug, I promise to try and keep any 'not sweet' behaviour on my own blog. no worries there :-)
Delightful, Cowgirl. Leave 'em weeping.
ReplyDeleteTLP, If I'd used a telescope I'd never have known about the Dragon family or the gypsy woman or the monk.
She is fun, Kyahgirl and so are you. Don't censor. I was feeling sympathetic for a second there. I'm over it.
Icky! Icky! Cowgirl! And Holy Crackers, whatever that means.
yeah, 'Icky, Icky' Cowgirl. although Doug, I'm sure she won't let her throat get so dry that she can't come up with a 'YeeHaw' or two.
ReplyDeleteKentucky Derby- so jealous. (I had to write it out because for some reason I don't believe our girl is going to the 'KY' Derby) See, what happens when I don't censor?
A robot... and now a witch?! Oh, boy!
ReplyDeleteTelescope: A device used to see the wrinkles on the Moon.
Cowgirl: I'm thrilled I showed up too. It's been fun seeing you get picked on. Of course, it's common knowledge that people only pick on people that they like, so don't feel badly, feel flattered.
telescope-the tool with which coveting doesn't violate the restraining order.
ReplyDeletei have a toy pirate telescope that i keep by our upstairs window so i can spy on people. i tried to include a picture of me using it because one day i got drunk in the afternoon and dressed up as a pirate....but no html so oh well you'll have to imagine
ReplyDeleteHaha, Kyahgirl. Self-censorship is voluntary and, in your case, recommended.
ReplyDeletea4g: 1, you can see more in the mug. 2. I see there are a lot of atheists for God.
Jamie Dawn, I'm not sure cheering Cowgirl up any more is such a good idea but I'm glad you showed up again.
Masil, I need friends like you.
Rio, leave it to my imagination.
Gee Doug, your cabana boy is HOT! Wow. Just...wow.
ReplyDeleteI am concerned about why a man has a cabana boy though. Uhm.
"Holy Crackers"... means "Holy Shit"... in Shayna language... thank you very much!!!
ReplyDeletetelescope - That which happens when a small car is caught between two large speeding trucks traveling in opposing directions.
ReplyDeleteA wonderfull tool for peeping into a boys dorm room. Wait did I do that? Never.
ReplyDeleteYoung mens dorm room. Ahem.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to vote for Miz B's caption in Sar's caption contest, but left the black dot in your line, Doug, and accidently voted for you, and then it never let me try again. this is what they mean when they talk about the responsibility of the voter...
ReplyDeleteCowgirl, I bet gentleman John gets his drinks mixed a little stronger than your usual riffraff. Defintely let him bring the drinks. You pulled the birthday card to campaign on the site of a fellow nominee? MM-mm. The Lord made Eve from the rib of a monkey, you he made out of brass.
ReplyDeleteDon't be cncerned, Jenna. I don't have time to fold my own towels.
Shayna, please! A little respect and consideration for the site you're on and it's rules. I believe you meant:
Holy Crackers, int. Holy sh1t!
Hurray, Poobah! Magnificent! I'll take all the dead and tortured child jokes you can offer.
Mistress Anna, I recognize you now.
Yes, Ariel. A grave duty it is and you threw yours away on a third party candidate. Now you'll have to find a different computer to vote a second time.
Holy Crackers... I'm so sorry! What in the heck was I thinking?
ReplyDeleteJust teasing you, Shayna.
ReplyDeleteI know... :)~ Have a great weekend DAWG!!! :)
ReplyDeleteHoly, Sh*t, Shayna, I'll do just that. You too.
ReplyDeleteall I need is a third computer now.
ReplyDeleteI always play nice... :)~
ReplyDeleteExcellent retort Doug. I almost fell of my chair laughing.:)
ReplyDeleteCowgirl, that's the first "Plays well with others" I've ever had on a report card.
ReplyDeleteAriel, you deserve one.
Sure, Shayna. I count on it.
Mistress Anna, ;-)