Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Beggar
BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
2006 Update: A captain of industry at home or an oracle anywhere.
BEGGAR, n. The orphan of war. The bastard child of prosperity. The skeleton in the closet of the yacht's luxury suite, with its hand expectantly extended.
It was a tough morning o c! But I have recovered now and beg of Ariel, to just follow decorum tomorrow. There is no right and wrong of course, but there are consequences of ones actions!*stumps cepter really hard on teh floor*
I wouldn't have expected "U"phemisms from Evil Minx ...
Minka:
Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread. With a Bible in one hand and an axe in the other. Body of Christ or Bury the Hatchet ...
o'c: classic comedy for a friday morning? whee! it doesn't get any better than that!
and, I hear ya, kyahgirl! I am a beggar on the corner, cup in had, crying to all who pass by: "quips for the feeble-minded? quips for the febble-minded?"
So tell me Doug, whose site was it that featured a corn dog this week?
G, Jenna, I didn't know you were a geneticist and sequenced DNA! You're just full of surprises. I might even have considered begging if I didn't suspect there was a vice squad agent trolling under that avatar.
Beggar... what anything pretty turns little girls into... what anything metallic and sharp turns little boys into... what lack of sleep and capable mental capacity turns a bohemian mother into...
Kyahgirl, I'm scandalized! Even the Little Blue Pill must, at least, play hard-to-get.
Now, Dusty, there are no sins of desperation. Read Summa Theologica Canis and De Principis Osteo by St. Lassie for more information. No, I don't know Lating. O Ceallaigh? Squaregirl?
Mutha, that's a great definition and I loved the Chambermaid piece. If that's what you meant and there's no comment from me then Blogger is a beggar.
Madness, Karma. Madness.
Puppytoes, I just used my last good quip on a homeless person. Next time.
Kyah, that's plenty good enough for us.
Then it's true, Jenna?
Cowgirl, I'm pleased to announce that on June 23, I will pay off the last of my college loans. It used to be own your home by 30.
V.I., what if there's only one tooth?
Mireille, why not both?
Got me, O Ceallaigh. So that's what a petard feels like.
That's interesting Jamie Dawn. I'd think it would be a lot easier to say no to a car than cocoa pops.
*gasps*
And...
Evil Minx wrote that she couldn't post a comment due to the aforementioned blogger beggary. So this is from her:
"U"phemisms? Eh? Heh.
No, no... that's how we say it in polite company in jolly old Blighty, O Ceallaigh, me old mucker. Honest.
And when i say we, i don't mean me, you were quite right. But you'd have to look on my site for the rude words. Folks are more genteel up Doug's way.
And that's another Britishism, and in no way a double-entendre...
To which I reply: Minx, the ways of your people are strange to me. Do you smoke pipes?
So, Miz B, if I were pretty and sharp, I'd have the whole world sewed up I guess.
Minka, cover your ears and indulge the fear. It's keeping you safe.
Minka and Jenna, if your "third base" is what I think it is, I'm afraid you're going to have to enlighten me further. I hardly ever get to first base, never mind third.
Minx, milady, I spent a decade in the Republic of Australia and the Loyal British Colony of New Zealand, so I know the drill. But only the Poms said "beggar". I won't bUg you about this again.
What's this connection with begging and third base? One should not have to beg for any base. I picture a guy holding a sign that says, Will Work to Get to Third Base.
O'C, you're scaring people people with your nucleotides, your Abbot and Costello, your drugs. You have an amazing mind.
I'm glad that me and Puppytoes just sat on a corner being beggars today.
( Did you gals get the 'third base' thing? G=guanine, third base out of 4 in DNA/RNA, the other three being a, c, and t, adenine, cytosine, and thymine?) The man is obscure I tell ya!
I don't know why I felt I had to explain that, I'm worried about the nerds getting a bad name. O'C, back in your cage!
kyahgirl: whoa, girl! here we sit, pretty as ya please... a couple of adorable pooches beggin' random quips off passers-by... and what do you do? you force me to drag out some of my old (really old) notes from college! aieeee! now i don't just need a few good quips to get me though this thread... i need a whole new brain! (actually, it's nice that you're here to remind everyone how smart (some) girls can be! hee hee!) still, i'm afraid you and o'c are gonna have to start holding tutorials, if you keep this up!
First Nation: what you call a "beggar" is known as "entitled" in our house! : D
One lacking the ability, or the power, to be a chooser.
I know that saying's been used at least twice already in this thread, but I'm late to the game and lacking in any other ideas (whoever said I was original) and thus have no choice.
“Beggars should be abolished entirely! Verily, it is annoying to give to them and it is annoying not to give to them.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
kyahgirl: i'm quite happy to bask in the glow of your brilliance! besides, i've got a great "windswept" thing goin' on here, thanks to those beanie propellers... : D
Yesterday when I went to bed I thought about beggar and this idea crossed my mind: maybe the government pays them to hang around streets. They go home at some point during the night and come back next morning. It is a job, to make the rest of us more appreciative of our own status in life. We are more docile and content after encountering a beggar! Maybe a beggar is for the atheists what religion is for the people?!
the number of the beggars tell you how big the city you are in is.
ReplyDeleteoops. sorry Monika. :-P
ReplyDeleteARiel, That wasn´t a very nice thing to do! *turns around an d leaves*
ReplyDeleteWhat? First?!? Where's Minka? :)
ReplyDeleteBEGGAR, n. The orphan of war. The bastard child of prosperity. The skeleton in the closet of the yacht's luxury suite, with its hand expectantly extended.
You came a minute earlier! *shocked*
ReplyDeleteOh, there you are. Snuck in while I wasn't looking. And Ariel sneaked around both of us. How beggarly.
ReplyDeleteIt was a tough morning o c! But I have recovered now and beg of Ariel, to just follow decorum tomorrow. There is no right and wrong of course, but there are consequences of ones actions!*stumps cepter really hard on teh floor*
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm 8th!
ReplyDeleteBegger: Anyone paying taxes or owning a car.
Maybe I should contribute soemthign as well:
ReplyDelete"Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread."
-D. T. Niles-
Ariel, and how prosperous.
ReplyDeleteMinka, maybe you and Ariel can be co-first? The blog princess and pauperess?
Good definition, O Ceallaigh (leaving aside the who's on first debate for a moment.)
Haha, Minka
Indie, you ain't lying.
Minka, Niles sounds like a theologian. Who is he?
Doug, I hope that "haha" was consoling and not schadenfroh!
ReplyDeleteAnd very good! Niles is a theologist from Sri Lanka. Impressive!
I have always relied on the kindness of strangers.
ReplyDeleteThis whole thing explains why I'm not choosy.
ReplyDeleteDoug, you beggar belief. Heh.
ReplyDeleteBeggar: One with the first name "Silly".
Doug: THIRD BASE!!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't have expected "U"phemisms from Evil Minx ...
Minka:
Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread. With a Bible in one hand and an axe in the other. Body of Christ or Bury the Hatchet ...
Beware the verb "to come".
Just in case anybody out there (like, from Iceland) doesn't get "THIRD BASE":
ReplyDeletehttp://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor4.shtml
Hm. Third base has a different meaning for me. Wonder why?
ReplyDeleteBeggar: What I've reduced OC to.
Flips hair over shoulder: It's a gift. *blows a kiss and sashays away until later*
Sri Lanka, Minka? Wow. The haha was more of a frightened titter.
ReplyDeleteThat's what family's for, g.
Fred, you can't be, can you?
Minx, I also beggar disbelief. You mean as in "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids?"
Brian, here you can choose to be royalty.
O Ceallaigh, my admiration just grows. A PhD willing to be that corny is a man of character.
Jenna, because you're a cricket fan?
Doug, with respect to Jenna, I think you must realize that, for the little blue pill, there is no third base. Its a home run every time!
ReplyDeletebeggar, v; I've beggared my poor doggie brain to find a morsel of wit to add to this morning's party but I got nothin'. Nothin'.
Woof!
Beg, Borrow, steal: the sins of desperation
ReplyDeleteBeggar: One who wants what you got but prefers your assistance in the transaction.
ReplyDeleteNext level: see "Robber"
Doug: There's a new person "in the neighborhood" at my place if you're interested...
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for helping to shame Indie back into posting
:)
now what kind of definitions are these? mercy, Douglas, mercy!
ReplyDeleteqpblvbhn: question: people believe begging helps, no?
o'c: classic comedy for a friday morning? whee! it doesn't get any better than that!
ReplyDeleteand, I hear ya, kyahgirl! I am a beggar on the corner, cup in had, crying to all who pass by: "quips for the feeble-minded? quips for the febble-minded?"
thus far, my cup runneth empty.
puppytoes, I'll sit on the street corner, wag, drool and look cute. Its the best this doggie can do today.
ReplyDeleteShh, Kyah. You're not supposed to give away all my secrets. You'll make a beggar out of the little blue pill.
ReplyDeleteBeggar,n: The opposite of chooser
ReplyDeleteAs in, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
as I read these entrails: we've either been there, or will be there. xoxo
ReplyDeleteSo tell me Doug, whose site was it that featured a corn dog this week?
ReplyDeleteG, Jenna, I didn't know you were a geneticist and sequenced DNA! You're just full of surprises. I might even have considered begging if I didn't suspect there was a vice squad agent trolling under that avatar.
a, c, G, t. Third base. [Dodges flying tomatoes]
All kids become beggars after watching commercials.
ReplyDeleteNow that my kids are older, they beg for cars.
It was easier when they were little.
Beggar... what anything pretty turns little girls into... what anything metallic and sharp turns little boys into... what lack of sleep and capable mental capacity turns a bohemian mother into...
ReplyDeleteOc...I knew Third Base only in one menaing. Unfourtunately that is Jenna´s :)
ReplyDeleteBut I am glad for this tutorial of yours!
And you are right, few people in Iceland probably know third base!
the verb: "to come" has always frightened me...but now I am really scared!
That's funny, Brian. I favor more mimes.
ReplyDeleteKyahgirl, I'm scandalized! Even the Little Blue Pill must, at least, play hard-to-get.
Now, Dusty, there are no sins of desperation. Read Summa Theologica Canis and De Principis Osteo by St. Lassie for more information. No, I don't know Lating. O Ceallaigh? Squaregirl?
Mutha, that's a great definition and I loved the Chambermaid piece. If that's what you meant and there's no comment from me then Blogger is a beggar.
Madness, Karma. Madness.
Puppytoes, I just used my last good quip on a homeless person. Next time.
Kyah, that's plenty good enough for us.
Then it's true, Jenna?
Cowgirl, I'm pleased to announce that on June 23, I will pay off the last of my college loans. It used to be own your home by 30.
V.I., what if there's only one tooth?
Mireille, why not both?
Got me, O Ceallaigh. So that's what a petard feels like.
That's interesting Jamie Dawn. I'd think it would be a lot easier to say no to a car than cocoa pops.
*gasps*
And...
Evil Minx wrote that she couldn't post a comment due to the aforementioned blogger beggary. So this is from her:
"U"phemisms? Eh? Heh.
No, no... that's how we say it in polite company in jolly old Blighty, O Ceallaigh, me old mucker. Honest.
And when i say we, i don't mean me, you were quite right. But you'd have to look on my site for the rude words. Folks are more genteel up Doug's way.
And that's another Britishism, and in no way a double-entendre...
To which I reply:
Minx, the ways of your people are strange to me. Do you smoke pipes?
So, Miz B, if I were pretty and sharp, I'd have the whole world sewed up I guess.
Minka, cover your ears and indulge the fear. It's keeping you safe.
Mireille, I pray you were wrong.
ReplyDeleteMinka and Jenna, if your "third base" is what I think it is, I'm afraid you're going to have to enlighten me further. I hardly ever get to first base, never mind third.
ReplyDelete:)
Beggars: Anyone got a spare comment for me? Just one comment? Okay how about a phrase? Really, I'd settle for a few words even...
ReplyDeleteI was going to say Happy Friday until Blogger kept me away! I believe the word is Agony.
Minx, milady, I spent a decade in the Republic of Australia and the Loyal British Colony of New Zealand, so I know the drill. But only the Poms said "beggar". I won't bUg you about this again.
ReplyDelete:)
What's this connection with begging and third base?
ReplyDeleteOne should not have to beg for any base.
I picture a guy holding a sign that says, Will Work to Get to Third Base.
Mutha: "helping to shame"??? So it was a conspiracy! Mind control seances or something. You guys are good.
ReplyDeleteJamie D!
ReplyDeleteOne should not have to beg for any base.
But that means freebase. DON'T go there ...
I picture a guy holding a sign that says, Will Work to Get to Third Base.
Once upon a time, all we males (well, most of us anyway) held up that sign. And we had a name for it. "Marriage".
::)
beggar: an overfed dog in a good home.
ReplyDeletewhy yes, i own dogs. why do you ask?
I'm not from Iceland - yet- but I didn't get the third base thing either.
ReplyDeleteO'C, you're scaring people people with your nucleotides, your Abbot and Costello, your drugs. You have an amazing mind.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that me and Puppytoes just sat on a corner being beggars today.
( Did you gals get the 'third base' thing? G=guanine, third base out of 4 in DNA/RNA, the other three being a, c, and t, adenine, cytosine, and thymine?) The man is obscure I tell ya!
I don't know why I felt I had to explain that, I'm worried about the nerds getting a bad name. O'C, back in your cage!
ok Kyah you just made the propeller spin off my hat!!!
ReplyDeleteOh and Doug..if you find your gift horse only has one tooth
Part it out..sometimes the sum of the parts is more than the whole..just ask any car thief
This thread is very hard to follow for a beggar who came late to the event
ReplyDeletekyahgirl: whoa, girl! here we sit, pretty as ya please... a couple of adorable pooches beggin' random quips off passers-by... and what do you do? you force me to drag out some of my old (really old) notes from college! aieeee! now i don't just need a few good quips to get me though this thread... i need a whole new brain! (actually, it's nice that you're here to remind everyone how smart (some) girls can be! hee hee!) still, i'm afraid you and o'c are gonna have to start holding tutorials, if you keep this up!
ReplyDeleteFirst Nation: what you call a "beggar" is known as "entitled" in our house! : D
One lacking the ability, or the power, to be a chooser.
ReplyDeleteI know that saying's been used at least twice already in this thread, but I'm late to the game and lacking in any other ideas (whoever said I was original) and thus have no choice.
shhhhh, *tiptoes out with the much coveted propellor beanie perched between her big black ears*
ReplyDeleteyou wear it well... girlfriend! : P
ReplyDelete“Falsehood is worse in kings than beggars.”
ReplyDeleteWilliam Shakespeare
*hands puppytoes the hat*
ReplyDeletepass it over to squaregirl when you're done ok?
I'm having a heck of a time keeping it on between these upright ears :-)
We'll give it back to the boys later.
“Beggars should be abolished entirely! Verily, it is annoying to give to them and it is annoying not to give to them.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
ReplyDeletekyahgirl: i'm quite happy to bask in the glow of your brilliance! besides, i've got a great "windswept" thing goin' on here, thanks to those beanie propellers... : D
:-D
ReplyDeleteI can just see it.
(sorry Doug, just ignore us, we'll get a room)
Mornin'!
ReplyDeleteYesterday when I went to bed I thought about beggar and this idea crossed my mind:
maybe the government pays them to hang around streets. They go home at some point during the night and come back next morning. It is a job, to make the rest of us more appreciative of our own status in life. We are more docile and content after encountering a beggar!
Maybe a beggar is for the atheists what religion is for the people?!
No, I don´t hear voices, why?
:)
I am also officially the first this Saturday morning!
ReplyDeleteAriel, spare me a forint?
ReplyDeleteO Ceallaigh, you should have a hazardous waste symbol for an avatar.
Sar, a comment and a quarter will get you a two-bit cup of coffee.
Jamie Dawn, please see Paradise by The Dashboard Light. Funny pictures in your head.
Indie, you forced us into it. Please continue writing I'm low on candles.
Actonbell, that sounds like a good way to bring lightning.
Alternatively, First Nations, a man in a home with an overfed dog.
Cooper, maybe you're still young after all.
Kyahgirl, thank you. I didn't get it. I may have to establish an IQ-limit but I'd miss Weirsdo.
Didn't she, Idiot? and O Ceallaigh, too. I'm glad it was you wearing it. How high did you get?
You bet, Pia. Or a host.
Puppytoes, it proves that a beggar can be king. Only in America. Or, probably, Lesotho.
That's OK, Gnat, it's good to see you. All but the avatar.
Kyahgirl, you give that to O Ceallaigh. Be a good dog. Although you get an official Waking Ambrose pocket protector for getting the joke.
Nice quote, Squaregirl. I'm glad someone around here keeps up some pretense of pretense.
Puppytoes, that's another great quote. What a bunch of dorks my friends are!
Minka, congratulations on your firstness. There must be some extra haldol lying around at work.
I got nothing, just saw SIXTY comments and couldn't bear to be left out!
ReplyDeleteBelinda, now there's 60 comments in excellent company.
ReplyDelete