Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Epidemic
EPIDEMIC, n. A disease having a sociable turn and few prejudices.
2006 Update: The glory of the virus, bacterium and epidemiologist.
This would be the reason that from November to April I have to work my ass off in the pharmacy. Everyone seems to think that every sneeze is a sign you've got the plague.
EPIDEMIC, adj. A moderately-sized calamity, caused by a BACTERIUM (vide infra) or other germ. Distinguised from ENDEMIC, a local problem, and PANDEMIC, in which the entire population is fried.
BACTERIUM, n. One of 'em. It is as wrong to say "a bacteria" as it is to say "a mice", but pointing this out to offenders is about as efficaceous as throwing water up Niagara. Curiously, no one seems to have a problem with STADIUM - but then, that's football, and rock music. Important stuff.
You have three choices today.
1) You can run over to Sar's place because I have a guest post there today.
2) You can run screaming from Sar's place because I have a guest post there today.
3) You can ignore Sar's place because you're already at your cabin on the lake enjoying a blog-free Labor Day weekend.
Solace, hypochondria is the only chronic epidemic, isn't it?
Puppybrose, that's a positive spin. Oh, and to your list add boy bands.
Feline, I stand corrected. Stupidity in DC is the other chronic epidemic. Pandemic for the last few years.
Ariel, it's only a skin infection. What's with the lysol?
Joel, if Shaw were writing now, that would be "A meme."
Pia, how do you expect us not to ask?
Brian, that's a hell of a bug.
Quilldancer, George Carlin and Ariel seem to be on a wavelength on this. I'm not sure who to worry for.
Shamrock, anti-americanism seems mainly to have infested the complaints of americans. I sure prefer the scorn of the world's tribes to pilates.
Weirsdo, that was the first direction I was going to go in, but I started having flashbacks to public health grant proposals I wrote. My version of Half-Nekkid Thursday is Hypocrisy-Neutral.
Sar, that's a whole 'nother computer virus and terminal.
TLP, when you get sick, I wipe my nose.
Mireille how do you get to Carnegie-Mellon Medical Center?
Thank you, O Ceallaigh. The irony is I went singular to avoid writing "viri." Good luck at Sar's.
The village Idiot stole my train of thought! Darn that orange-headed fellow!!
new thought coming...
epidemic: academic-types who immerse themselves in their field of knowledge (usually math or science - eeeeeew!) to the exclusion of all social skills.
I came up with that on the spur of the moment, and I think it is pretty darn good!
Rio, if I'd known you'd post today I'd have bet someone you'd cite love. I wasn't far off.
Sure, OC and that the singular of Bacteria was Bacterium. The trick I learned was getting the hell out of grantwriting. Undertakers have a cheerier profession.
Jamie Dawn, I beg your pardon but the non-scientist can be just as socially inept as the scientist. Or else I chose the wrong career.
Karma, that should be on the wall at the free clinic.
Not at all, Shamrock. I welcome political rants from both sides of the aisle and independents with equal sarcasm. Re the pilates tribes: I just want to know how much of the pilates class is spent arching the eyebrows.
Epidemic... a sudden desire inherent in bohemians to drag their OCDish Miz to the beach... it is dirty and full of sand and feathers and half eaten apples and cigarette butts and disease!!! And this thing called sand? It is EVERYWHERE I tell you, EVERYWHERE!
I AM NOT GOING BACK! EPIDEMIC & BOHEMIANS BE DAMNED!
Since there seems to be a fair number of non-humans frequenting this site (dogs, cats, lizards, amoeba, birds, pez, teapots, shoes, feathers et al) I thought this definition would be apropos.
An epizootic is the nonhuman equivalent of an epidemic, meaning that large numbers of animals are infected with a disease
Miz B! A thousand pardons! I don't know how I missed your funkified self! I was teasing about who's who, of course. Usually "Bohemians" means you. Conejo, conejo?
Lately the fight for first spot has been epidemic, so I better get this verifier right teh first time around!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard for some people!
This would be the reason that from November to April I have to work my ass off in the pharmacy. Everyone seems to think that every sneeze is a sign you've got the plague.
ReplyDeleteepidemic: the little bug that could
ReplyDeleteepidemic: domino effect on the human condition. applies to disease, laughter, and/or stupidity.
ReplyDeleteEpidemic : the stupidity that has plagued Washington since the Bush era's began.
ReplyDeleteepidemic: nature's way of cleaning
ReplyDelete- I'm not dead!
- Yes, you are!
When in doubt or lacking brain power or inspiration...
ReplyDelete"A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
George Bernard Shaw
use a quote.
Epidemic: Something my sister believes that I will begin. Don't ask
ReplyDeleteEpidemic: the planet's way of defending itself against man see George Carlin's, The Planet is Fine)
ReplyDeletewordverification: Jlobra
I didn't think she had one.
A statistical anomaly requiring government funds.
ReplyDeleteEpidemic - Verbal diarrhea. (see Blogsphere)
ReplyDeleteEpidemic: When good diseases go bad. Or whenever I get sick.
ReplyDeleteepidemic: a microbe perfecting itself through repetition? xoxo
ReplyDeleteEPIDEMIC, adj. A moderately-sized calamity, caused by a BACTERIUM (vide infra) or other germ. Distinguised from ENDEMIC, a local problem, and PANDEMIC, in which the entire population is fried.
ReplyDeleteBACTERIUM, n. One of 'em. It is as wrong to say "a bacteria" as it is to say "a mice", but pointing this out to offenders is about as efficaceous as throwing water up Niagara. Curiously, no one seems to have a problem with STADIUM - but then, that's football, and rock music. Important stuff.
You have three choices today.
1) You can run over to Sar's place because I have a guest post there today.
2) You can run screaming from Sar's place because I have a guest post there today.
3) You can ignore Sar's place because you're already at your cabin on the lake enjoying a blog-free Labor Day weekend.
:)
Minka, achoo!
ReplyDeleteSolace, hypochondria is the only chronic epidemic, isn't it?
Puppybrose, that's a positive spin. Oh, and to your list add boy bands.
Feline, I stand corrected. Stupidity in DC is the other chronic epidemic. Pandemic for the last few years.
Ariel, it's only a skin infection. What's with the lysol?
Joel, if Shaw were writing now, that would be "A meme."
Pia, how do you expect us not to ask?
Brian, that's a hell of a bug.
Quilldancer, George Carlin and Ariel seem to be on a wavelength on this. I'm not sure who to worry for.
Shamrock, anti-americanism seems mainly to have infested the complaints of americans. I sure prefer the scorn of the world's tribes to pilates.
Weirsdo, that was the first direction I was going to go in, but I started having flashbacks to public health grant proposals I wrote. My version of Half-Nekkid Thursday is Hypocrisy-Neutral.
Sar, that's a whole 'nother computer virus and terminal.
TLP, when you get sick, I wipe my nose.
Mireille how do you get to Carnegie-Mellon Medical Center?
Thank you, O Ceallaigh. The irony is I went singular to avoid writing "viri." Good luck at Sar's.
Epidemic: Something usually associated with biblical proportions and locusts or frogs
ReplyDeleteThe physical version of gosspip.
ReplyDeletering worm; rashes in general
ReplyDeleteDoug, you knew that the plural of "virus" is "viri"? Positively azurene. Worth at least one extra Milk-Bone tonight.
ReplyDeleteMust be a leftover from those grant proposals you used to write. Ugh. Been there. Still there. :(. Did you find a better way?
Oh, Q? Panties.
The village Idiot stole my train of thought! Darn that orange-headed fellow!!
ReplyDeletenew thought coming...
epidemic: academic-types who immerse themselves in their field of knowledge (usually math or science - eeeeeew!) to the exclusion of all social skills.
I came up with that on the spur of the moment, and I think it is pretty darn good!
don' worry, be epi
ReplyDeleteV.I. and preachers.
ReplyDeleteVery good, Icy. Good girl!
Rio, if I'd known you'd post today I'd have bet someone you'd cite love. I wasn't far off.
Sure, OC and that the singular of Bacteria was Bacterium. The trick I learned was getting the hell out of grantwriting. Undertakers have a cheerier profession.
Jamie Dawn, I beg your pardon but the non-scientist can be just as socially inept as the scientist. Or else I chose the wrong career.
Karma, that should be on the wall at the free clinic.
Not at all, Shamrock. I welcome political rants from both sides of the aisle and independents with equal sarcasm. Re the pilates tribes: I just want to know how much of the pilates class is spent arching the eyebrows.
Ariel i love your definition *and* the Monty Python reference. *claps*
ReplyDelete"De plague! De plague!" ~ what Tattoo *might* have said had illness swept over Fantasy Island
"Some people are so sensitive they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them." ~ Frank Hubbard
ReplyDeletedon't mind me....
Epidemic... a sudden desire inherent in bohemians to drag their OCDish Miz to the beach... it is dirty and full of sand and feathers and half eaten apples and cigarette butts and disease!!! And this thing called sand? It is EVERYWHERE I tell you, EVERYWHERE!
ReplyDeleteI AM NOT GOING BACK! EPIDEMIC & BOHEMIANS BE DAMNED!
Poor intelligence is *epidemic* within the bush administration, i.e...
ReplyDelete...THEY DON'T KNOW THEIR ASS FROM A WHOLE IN THE GROUND!
So many great defitions already, I haven't a single thing to add.
ReplyDeleteWhere is my burger though?
yay thank you Puppybrose!
ReplyDeleteAriel
I KNOW mine sucked.... but I needed to say hola dammit!
ReplyDeleterbsnyph... Rob's a nympho...
Puppybrose, Tatoo is dead. Long live Tatoo.
ReplyDeleteMiz B, Is Miz you or Bohemian?
Karen, I thought this inkblot would look that way to you.
Shamrock, I just hope the janitors in D.C. do. And the gangsters.
Logo, I'll give you your hamburger Tuesday if you'll pay me today.
Welcome, Old Mule. Sullenness is everywhere and here I'm the one quarantined.
Hermana, no chupa! That Rob!
Since there seems to be a fair number of non-humans frequenting this site (dogs, cats, lizards, amoeba, birds, pez, teapots, shoes, feathers et al) I thought this definition would be apropos.
ReplyDeleteAn epizootic is the nonhuman equivalent of an epidemic, meaning that large numbers of animals are infected with a disease
hi Doug :-) I'll just pop in quickly because I don't want to catch anything....seems to be a bit of an epidemic at your place!
ReplyDeleteLAGOMANIA... CATCH IT! LAGOMANIA>>>>> woo hoo!
ReplyDeletehop
hop
hop
hop
hop
hop
hop
hop
BUNNY BUTT!
Mucho gusto, amigo.
ReplyDeleteNot to worry, Actonbell. I'm immune.
Thanks, Terry. I had no idea but that's your field is it not?
Kyah, bless you.
Aral, I love this game!
Rabbutt, Rabbutt.
ReplyDeleteYOU DIDN'T SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ON MY BIRTHDAY.
ReplyDeleteRabtit, Rabtit!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Anonymous! please don't kill me!!
ReplyDeleteI'm just a cheap cupcake. Not worth the time of day.
ReplyDeleteIt's official: Rabbit, rabbit! Woo hoo! Lagomania!
ReplyDeleteThe bohemians are the Loverboy and the lil' brood of noisy, demanding, shrieking, verbalicious one and the Miz, that's me... or BoheMia if you will...
ReplyDeleteNow answer me this? How is it that my hermano would not know that? DIOS MIO!
Puppybrose, you know how I feel about profanity on this site. Rabbit, rabbit!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, any slight that takes a week to notice is no slight at all.
Ariel, is that Hungarian? Rabbit, rabbit!
Good grief, anonymous. Happy birthday again.
Aral, poor me. I slept through the great transition to September. Lagos, lagos!
TGIF, Actonbell! TGIF! TGIF! Rabbit! Rabbit!
What am I, chopped liver?
ReplyDeleteMiz B! A thousand pardons! I don't know how I missed your funkified self! I was teasing about who's who, of course. Usually "Bohemians" means you. Conejo, conejo?
ReplyDeleteI used to live in the Conejo Valley. Boy was I ever lucky!
ReplyDelete