Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Aberration
ABERRATION, n. Any deviation in another from one's own habit of thought, not sufficient in itself to constitute insanity.
2006 Update: Traffic slow enough to cause tardiness.
Aberration: Mashed potatoes with ketchup, chocolate covered marshmallow, liver, turnips, loma beans, stripes and polka dots together, black socks with sandals, polyester, salad without dressing, prejudice, violence, abuse, abandonment, lies, some to horrid to mention, others just too preposterous! D :}
Abe ratio, n. The proportion of old fogies in any given group of people. Abe ratios of more than one to pi are generally only encountered at bowling clubs and shops that sell really high-waisted pants.
Aberration: Kind of rhymes with ageism ... the unlikely belief that youth trumps wisdom AND lasts for ever. *also: high waisted pants have been featured in the spring shows in New York. This means they'll show up on the average muffintop in about a year.* xoxo
Abberation, n. 1. The adoration of ABBA. It is a documented fact that ABBA was offered $1 billion to get back together and go on tour. They passed. There was definitely an abberation in there somewhere. 2. A band covering an ABBA song. This is almost always hilarious, but it's also fun, and it's certainly an abberation.
Minka, Yoda must be tough on a linguist although I suspect he started out in German.
Diane, that was excellent but on this site we do not mock the noble chocolate-covered marshmallow having a friend in the industry. Try the "Schwartz Candies" link on the right.
Puppybrose, its only an aberration if it doesn't happen every morning or on the same day each year.
Ariel, that kind of depends on how many people are included in "you" and how many of those are hospital orderlies.
A. Spo., you left out Precinct Boards. Every election I get to be a scrappy young feller again.
Puppybrose, in other words, a promise kept. Ayup.
Anomie, it's a long, crooked and scenic route.
Sar, I once knew an Abby Dextrous from Virginia and Oregon.
Sorry to hear, Brian. That is unusual. All well I hope?
O Ceallaigh, that was a very good read. I remember a five-inch snowfall in Atlanta. I helped push two cars and a city bus back onto the street and the street value of Wonder Bread hit $100.
Very, very funny, Mireille. I'll add "Muffintop" to "Harridan" on the list of words I've learned under your wholesome tutelage.
Joel, nature has a way of getting us out of those ruts despite all our planning to escape.
Quilldancer, we're all here to feel normal, just like 5th grade teachers.
Andrew Abbadulation, I never got it. It's hopeless.
Good girl, Icy!
Haha, witty Logo.
Catcouches, too Chatham!
Kyah, only you would apologize for your dog.
First Nations, if you consider Kyahgirl abrasive, I'd hate to know what you consider me.
Or '05, Mutha. Looks like we'll be without a conflict this year, though, huh?
Mushroom, the eyes in his head see the world spinning round.
Joel, I coulda swore I answered everyone at 10. Doesn't look like it took.
Goodpoint, Mistress Anna. Not all aberrations are natural.
Doug: The fool on the hill may be an aberration to some, but Eleanor Rigby knew better than to make light of him because she was an aberration to some as well.
but nobody laughed at Father McKenzie because if a man is lonely, people think he wants nobody but if a woman is lonely, people think nobody wants her.
Sure, a, or an object that's smaller. By the way, I think the last person to find her way over here from Pia's was g. You Pia fans are a concise crowd.
Aberration: Filled with them "Star Wars" is!
ReplyDeleteAberration: Mashed potatoes with ketchup, chocolate covered marshmallow, liver, turnips, loma beans, stripes and polka dots together, black socks with sandals, polyester, salad without dressing, prejudice, violence, abuse, abandonment, lies, some to horrid to mention, others just too preposterous! D :}
ReplyDeleteAberration: scolding one's stomach muscles for not being in better shape?
ReplyDelete(sorry--too much ice cream cake yesterday, which left me feeling fat and/or "hung over" from the sugar high.)
it's not me who is aberrated, it's you who cannot understand.
ReplyDeleteI think you mean
ReplyDeleteAbe ratio, n. The proportion of old fogies in any given group of people. Abe ratios of more than one to pi are generally only encountered at bowling clubs and shops that sell really high-waisted pants.
Aberration: 1. fat free, free lunch, "no strings attached" 2. noble politics, balanced budgets, WMD's, legal surveillance tactics, and /or "no spin" [see also: FOX News, fair and balanced]
ReplyDeleteAberration....Hmmmm...Abby...
ReplyDeleteAbby someone.
Abby who?
Abby normal.
ABERRATION, n. Snow in Miami - or even Atlanta. APHANATION: Heat wave in Maine.
ReplyDeleteAberration: Kind of rhymes with ageism ... the unlikely belief that youth trumps wisdom AND lasts for ever. *also: high waisted pants have been featured in the spring shows in New York. This means they'll show up on the average muffintop in about a year.*
ReplyDeletexoxo
Aberration: clawing your way out of the rut created by the lack of same.
ReplyDeleteabberation n. any person who actually enjoys teaching kindergarten
ReplyDelete[note: kindergarten teachers make the same comment about anyone who enjoys teaching 5th grade]
abbe-ration n. the number of unusual people allowed to be in the same place at the same time (I believe WA is over quota daily).
ReplyDeleteAbberation, n. 1. The adoration of ABBA. It is a documented fact that ABBA was offered $1 billion to get back together and go on tour. They passed. There was definitely an abberation in there somewhere. 2. A band covering an ABBA song. This is almost always hilarious, but it's also fun, and it's certainly an abberation.
ReplyDeleteCats
ReplyDeleteAbberation of light, a phenomenon that creates the appearance of movement as in traffic, celestial bodies, and bureaucratic paperwork.
ReplyDeleteDOGS
ReplyDeleteSiamese Cats!
ReplyDeleteoops, don't know what came over Kyah there :-) sorry Chatham....nice kitty, don't scratch me!
ReplyDeletelove the definitions today Doug. For once I understand everything.
Sar: a quote(ish) from Young Frankenstein? sweet. (not to mention funny!)
ReplyDeleteTom & Icy/Chatham/Kyahgirl: can't we all just get along? or is that just an abberant concept courtesy of my fragile/optimistic little mind?
puppybrose: no
ReplyDeleteaberration:
ReplyDeletethe phenomena produced by those i consider aberrasive.
HI KYAH!!!!!
Hey Andrew: Wouldn't that be an ABBArration?
ReplyDeleteAberration: Just when you thought you knew everything, Smarty Pants! Also see: 2004 World Series.
Aberration: one person's happy way of life, which the warped majority of people around him does not agree with.
ReplyDeleteWhere's Doug? An Abberation?
ReplyDeletePamela Anderson.
ReplyDeleteShe probably slows traffic as well.
Minka, Yoda must be tough on a linguist although I suspect he started out in German.
ReplyDeleteDiane, that was excellent but on this site we do not mock the noble chocolate-covered marshmallow having a friend in the industry. Try the "Schwartz Candies" link on the right.
Puppybrose, its only an aberration if it doesn't happen every morning or on the same day each year.
Ariel, that kind of depends on how many people are included in "you" and how many of those are hospital orderlies.
A. Spo., you left out Precinct Boards. Every election I get to be a scrappy young feller again.
Puppybrose, in other words, a promise kept. Ayup.
Anomie, it's a long, crooked and scenic route.
Sar, I once knew an Abby Dextrous from Virginia and Oregon.
Sorry to hear, Brian. That is unusual. All well I hope?
O Ceallaigh, that was a very good read. I remember a five-inch snowfall in Atlanta. I helped push two cars and a city bus back onto the street and the street value of Wonder Bread hit $100.
Very, very funny, Mireille. I'll add "Muffintop" to "Harridan" on the list of words I've learned under your wholesome tutelage.
Joel, nature has a way of getting us out of those ruts despite all our planning to escape.
Quilldancer, we're all here to feel normal, just like 5th grade teachers.
Andrew Abbadulation, I never got it. It's hopeless.
Good girl, Icy!
Haha, witty Logo.
Catcouches, too Chatham!
Kyah, only you would apologize for your dog.
First Nations, if you consider Kyahgirl abrasive, I'd hate to know what you consider me.
Or '05, Mutha. Looks like we'll be without a conflict this year, though, huh?
Mushroom, the eyes in his head see the world spinning round.
Joel, I coulda swore I answered everyone at 10. Doesn't look like it took.
Goodpoint, Mistress Anna. Not all aberrations are natural.
Actonbell, *yawn*
Doug: Go Tigers!
ReplyDeleteGo Dodgers!
(I always cheer for the aberration)
Abberatin' v. what Mammy Yokum does when Li'l Abner acts up.
ReplyDeleteMr. Pascova: My father says it aint nice too make fun of poeple from the Appalashun mountens.
ReplyDeleteMutha, make room for the Cards and it's a deal. Are we together on whoever's playing the Yankees?
ReplyDeleteQuill, it sure ain't arbitratin'
Boy, tellyour dad I'll be glad to switch to buckeye jokes. I've got a million of 'em.
Doug: The fool on the hill may be an aberration to some, but Eleanor Rigby knew better than to make light of him because she was an aberration to some as well.
ReplyDeletebut nobody laughed at Father McKenzie because if a man is lonely, people think he wants nobody but if a woman is lonely, people think nobody wants her.
ReplyDeleteBlogger ate my comment and the moment is gone. No aberration there.
ReplyDeleteAberration: most of my friends.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Doug, but it is rather arbitrary.
ReplyDeleteBut we all want to be in an Octopus' garden, don't we mushroom?
ReplyDeleteAriel, and if you bring the two together you'll usually get a scarf and a lecture.
Jenna, it did the same to me. I wasn't a bad host yesterday, honest. (The usual excuse.)
All of the online ones, Cooper.
Quilldancer, illusory even.
Yes in deed, fine sir. Any Yankee Slayer is a friend of mine.
ReplyDeleteAberration: The reason why the objects in your mirror are closer than they appear.
ReplyDeleteAmen, Mutha.
ReplyDeleteSure, a, or an object that's smaller. By the way, I think the last person to find her way over here from Pia's was g. You Pia fans are a concise crowd.
a, I love that definition.
ReplyDelete