Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Gambling
GAMBLING, n. A pastime in which the pleasure consists partly in the consciousness of advantages gained for oneself, but mainly in the contemplation of another's loss.
hmm... I already commented... aparently it didn't work... gambling: the easiest way to rid yourself of a little pocket change or the hardest way to realize you don't have the money to pay the rent
Another - Gambling - taking the chance that a 3 hour siesta will still leave time enough to accomplish all major chores AND prepare dinner B4 the bunny gets home. (see also - LAZY) D :}
GAMBLING, n. The sole and all-encompassing activity of consciousness. GAMBOLING: subset of that activity where you gamble that you won't break your godam arm in the process.
I didn't bring any... I was lucky, I bet on a winner they all behaved well and no rope or sedatives needed. What can I say? I'm a regular Mary Poppins!
Too true, cindra jo. Your prize is this lovely pearl-handled knife I have here. If you'll just extract it from between my shoulder blades and clean it up, it's yours. Use it well.
Doug, we got here following a lousy deer, and we decided to stay because the women we'd stolen started to give birth to babies, and you talk of too high stakes to ME? :)
Michael plays with stars Soul Sister won't you take a ride in his car Late to call When you wanted to be all Baby don't be so shy Rock children hold your heads up high In the night while I try And tell the ballad of Valentine
You got it bad, but you know it's true
I caught up with a friend in Dallas We took a trip to New Orleans Those black-eyed ladies Won't say they're sorry
We finally caught a train to Memphis Where everybody talks the same Those blue suede babies All know my name
And I said hold tight Can't you see it's hurting me But I've got the buzz Like Marlon Brando Michael Valentine, can't we unite?
We ended up in North Dakota Although my heart's in Mexico My muñequita Abre tus ojos
With your new suit, and your black tie Hold on, you're just a GAMBLING man, all proper like I broke to the right and I caught your eye Shut your mouth and wave goodbye Tonight, I ain't gonna let you rain on this parade
And I said hold tight Can't you see it's hurting me But I've got the buzz Like Marlon Brando Straight faced with misery tonight
And I will not lie when I say I ain't cold no more But I've got the buzz Like Greta Garbo Walking forwards in the sun And I've got a cold tale left to write
Gamble: when a man attempts to play by the unwritten rules, similar to the laws of physics but with less permanence, of either dice or cards or women. One has a slight chance of winning in any of the above, and a great chance of becoming impoverished.
I did come back, taking a gamble that the party would still be going..... I was right. Well, the odds were in my favour though. Ariel, please be careful with jaguars!You wouldn't want one gnawing on those pretty ankles of yours!
Gambling: participating in an activity in which a mere 25 cents can make the difference between 17 thousand dollars and a funny anecdote about the big jackpot missed by thismuch. [see also: Carson City, (1982) ~ Neva's sister pulled the handle before Neva got the 3rd coin in the slot machine, and yes, those four 7's came up on the 3rd line, meaning the girls wound up with...zip.]
“Someone asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” Gloria Steinem and then...
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. Ambrose Bierce
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeletewhoever was cute up there, trying first place...you gambled well taking the comment away!
ReplyDeleteto gamble: saying ´yes´ at the altar!
ReplyDeleteI am not being sarcastic snuppy, a small margin does win in gambling ;)
Gambling: Inviting more than 5 kids to a four year olds birthday party at the bear stuffing workshop and hoping it goes alright!!
ReplyDeleteGambling: doing something with a highly uncertain outcome, but lying about it.
ReplyDeleteGambling with a dubble headed nikel is lots of fun!
ReplyDeletehmm... I already commented... aparently it didn't work...
ReplyDeletegambling: the easiest way to rid yourself of a little pocket change or the hardest way to realize you don't have the money to pay the rent
SC
Gambling: Driving the streets of Los Angeles; crossing a street in New York.
ReplyDeleteGambling: believing the government.
ReplyDeleteGambling - Leg Glitz! lol (get it gam - bling? Oh, bother!) D ;]
ReplyDeleteAnother - Gambling - taking the chance that a 3 hour siesta will still leave time enough to accomplish all major chores AND prepare dinner B4 the bunny gets home. (see also - LAZY) D :}
ReplyDeleteGambling: to be driven by the desire to part with one's worldly goods.
ReplyDeleteGambling: a strategic means to reduce taxable income.
ReplyDeleteGambling, n. Involuntary donations.
ReplyDeleteDidn't we have this one already? Please review optimistic.
ReplyDeleteGambling... a one way flight to Spain.
ReplyDeleteheh. I like gam-bling. heh.
ReplyDeleteum, knowing when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em?
xoxo
ha ha Quilldancer :-) good one.
ReplyDeleteWait! Recent events in my life have just illuminated this word!
ReplyDeletegambling v. driving while under the influence of unpaid parking tickets.
Thank you, Kyah, de nada.
ReplyDeletegambling: playing a game in which aces 'n eights may lead to an upfront win and/or bullet in the back.
ReplyDeleteeh. i took a shot...
Gambling: A stroll by one blessed with beautiful legs.
ReplyDeleteI am gambling on the chance that I will live another day. Typing from my sickbed. However, I did notice that I am a finalist on Sar's caption contest.
ReplyDeleteIt would do this dying man's soul good if you would vote for me so I can leave this world happy.
Anonymous deleter, were the stakes too high?
ReplyDeleteMinka, for some saying I do is a gamble, for others a certain catastrophe. As to being first, every day is a new roll of the dice.
Brian 2 points for gambol and 6 for huh? You are a poet's poet.
CJ, how many feet of rope did you bring?
Indie, every tourist crossing the border from Nevada is a winner.
Sacada, tails!
Solace, that's where the "there was this guy, see?" story always starts.
Funny you mention that, A. Man that was a commute.
Dddragon, you do live fast.
Funny Feline. Both.
Mutha, and which of us isn't?
Old Mule, consult your tax professional.
Andrew, I like to think of it as supporting the chambermaids and coroners.
Clever, Quill.
Miz B, you bet successfully on it becomeing a round trip.
Dug deep for that one, hey, Mireille?
Kyah, I hope you come back because...
Quill, that's first rate.
Puppybrose, you always get extra credit for bringing up Poker and Deadwood.
Joel, by which you mean Neva, I assume.
V.I. Will you leave it quiet, though?
GAMBLING, n. The sole and all-encompassing activity of consciousness. GAMBOLING: subset of that activity where you gamble that you won't break your godam arm in the process.
ReplyDeleteMy idea of a gamble? Getting on a plane. Flying over water. Oh lawdy is it windy out today because we're flying over mountains too.
ReplyDeleteI didn't bring any... I was lucky, I bet on a winner they all behaved well and no rope or sedatives needed. What can I say? I'm a regular Mary Poppins!
ReplyDeleteToo true, cindra jo. Your prize is this lovely pearl-handled knife I have here. If you'll just extract it from between my shoulder blades and clean it up, it's yours. Use it well.
ReplyDeleteDoug, we got here following a lousy deer, and we decided to stay because the women we'd stolen started to give birth to babies, and you talk of too high stakes to ME? :)
ReplyDeleteO Ceallaigh, it's also the antithesis of reason, too. You're lucky to be an amoeba.
ReplyDeleteAnd eye contact, Jenna?
You're right, Brian. Thanks for the remedial course.
Cindra Jo, that's just foolish talk.
CJ, it's too bad Norman Rockwell didn't live to paint you.
O Ceallaigh, rule #1 of romance: never turn back. Orpheus was the lucky one.
Ariel, if you were driving a Jaguar I apologize.
no, Doug, I was riding one.
ReplyDeleteGambling - I've hedged a few bets...not in card games either. So far the witness protection program is working out swell.
ReplyDeleteariel - reading backwards I wondered, then I laughed!
I tend to do things backwards Doug , so I will exit not with a wimper but with a bang...
ReplyDeletei.e. spontaneous explosion
Ariel, the day you bite one, I'll have nothing left but admiration.
ReplyDeleteG, if that is your real name, I'm glad it's working for you.
V.I., I heard that was going around.
gambling: pursuit of happenstance
ReplyDeleted'oh! that was me. (that's what i get for being so punny yesterday)
ReplyDeleteMichael plays with stars
ReplyDeleteSoul Sister won't you take a ride in his car
Late to call
When you wanted to be all
Baby don't be so shy
Rock children hold your heads up high
In the night while I try
And tell the ballad of Valentine
You got it bad, but you know it's true
I caught up with a friend in Dallas
We took a trip to New Orleans
Those black-eyed ladies
Won't say they're sorry
We finally caught a train to Memphis
Where everybody talks the same
Those blue suede babies
All know my name
And I said hold tight
Can't you see it's hurting me
But I've got the buzz
Like Marlon Brando
Michael Valentine, can't we unite?
We ended up in North Dakota
Although my heart's in Mexico
My muñequita
Abre tus ojos
With your new suit, and your black tie
Hold on, you're just a GAMBLING man, all proper like
I broke to the right and I caught your eye
Shut your mouth and wave goodbye
Tonight, I ain't gonna let you rain on this parade
And I said hold tight
Can't you see it's hurting me
But I've got the buzz
Like Marlon Brando
Straight faced with misery tonight
And I will not lie when I say I ain't cold no more
But I've got the buzz
Like Greta Garbo
Walking forwards in the sun
And I've got a cold tale left to write
Well uh oh
I know he's gonna be there tonight
Gamble: when a man attempts to play by the unwritten rules, similar to the laws of physics but with less permanence, of either dice or cards or women. One has a slight chance of winning in any of the above, and a great chance of becoming impoverished.
ReplyDeleteI did come back, taking a gamble that the party would still be going..... I was right. Well, the odds were in my favour though.
ReplyDeleteAriel, please be careful with jaguars!You wouldn't want one gnawing on those pretty ankles of yours!
Gambling: participating in an activity in which a mere 25 cents can make the difference between 17 thousand dollars and a funny anecdote about the big jackpot missed by thismuch. [see also: Carson City, (1982) ~ Neva's sister pulled the handle before Neva got the 3rd coin in the slot machine, and yes, those four 7's came up on the 3rd line, meaning the girls wound up with...zip.]
ReplyDelete“Someone asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.”
ReplyDeleteGloria Steinem
and then...
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Ambrose Bierce
Expecting to still be the same person, too.
ReplyDeleteGambling: Never taking a risk.
ReplyDeleteIknow it's a mediocre version of your own Doug, which is really good by the way, but it's Friday and it's all I got.
Punnybrose, that was fantastic. Pursuit of happenstance. Mm-mm.
ReplyDeleteShayna, those lyrics remind me of Saint in The City.
Mushroom, statistics cause poverty.
Kyahgirl, you have no mercy for cats, do you?
Ouch, Puppy!
Two good quotes, Logo. Who was that second dude?
Lucinda, it's been good to see you back. Tell Actonbell hello for me.
Squaregirl, that's a fine version of my own definition.
Cindra Jo, it's good to see you've gotten to know my brother O Ceallaigh so well.
gambling is just the gentlemen's term for taking incredibly stupid risks; it is three steps higher on the ladder than the word chance.
ReplyDeleteChance is really as far as I ever go.
A delusion of a grand, yore.
ReplyDelete