Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Backbite
BACKBITE, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
2006 Update: To indicate the coarse idleness, frivolousness, envy, gossip, malintent, ill-nature, indiscretion, arrogance and long-windedness that distinguishes another from your unblemished self.
Happy birthday to Andy Pascover, neigh Pascover, who's a waddling, malodorous monkey.
Happy birthday Andy. I hope throughout the years you have taken many an opportunity to bite back. I mean growing up with this here host, can´t have been apeaceful youth!
backbite, considerate truth (some things are just hard to say to people´s faces!)
not ready to address the nature of backbiters, who seem less dangerous on the surface than the never popular back-stabers, but in fact, are not. (i'll trade a clean cut for a festering wound any day)
instead i'll offer a birthday greeting to another Pascover neigh Pascover née waddling monkey (for aren't we all? née waddling monkeys, that is). Happy Happy Joy Joy!
Backbite: while the verb itself may be conjugated in the first and second persons, it can be applied only in the third. (Otherwise, I guess, frontbite would be a word?)
backbite: act of pulling a splinter from someone's eye, despite the log in one's own and/or throwing stones from the inside of that glass house you live in. (i know i know...trite, predictable, and cliché... you're welcome to complain *after* i leave, okay?)
oh, and, for the record, i had no idea you'd be referring to a beloved family member as a monkey, malodorous or otherwise, when i put up today's Snark post. (just sayin'...)
backbitev. action of one formerly beloved niece when her innocent and unsuspecting aunt bends to tie said [now brat-] child's shoe. (btw: she will deny this, but I have the scar to prove it)
aiiieeee, Penguin! "waddling" is Doug's word, not mine--now that i think about it, tho', perhaps it might be prudent to ask him why he elected to use it over something less, shall we say, penguin-related. (and while you're at it, "malodorous" seems a tad egregious, as well...)
backbite, socially accepted form of getting somoene out of your way.
Very happy Birthday, Andy! love has many words, "waddling, malodorous monkey" moved me into tears. it is so unlike of your brother to let his feelings show like that!
As for backbiting? That would be discussing lexographers who use frivolessness when they mean frivolousness in the comments when said lexographer is busy elsewhere.
Aw, its so sweet, the brotherly love just shines through. Happy Birthday Andy and don't let Doug's backbiting ways get you down. I guess you have a pretty thick hide by now, eh?
Backbite: The tactic one must resort to when one cannot reach the hand that feeds them. A skill that is very useful when one gets into corporate management without requisite skills.
I sing these blues In a minor key Everybody in town's trying to BACKBITE me I love my man Better than I do myself Now he's lovin' somebody else That's why I'm singing these minor blues Early this mornin' On the break of day I felt the pillow where my daddy used to lay He left last night Didn't say why Didn't even kiss his mama goodbye That's why I've got these minor blues I combed his hair Manicured his nails Took my money and got him out of jail I brought him coffee I brought him tea Brought him everything but the jailhouse key That's why I'm singing these minor blues I sing these blues In a lowdown key To let you know how he mistreated me Get up in the morning Work hard all day Come home at night and give him all my pay That's why I'm singing these minor blues Nobody knows The trouble I seen Nobody knows my misery Keep on singing to me This minor key Maybe someday he'll come back to me That's why I'm singing these minor blues
Happy Birthday Andy. I haven't noticed an odor. Could be there is a waddle, but nothing for Minka to envy or defend. Miz Bohemia, as my first Mother -in-Law used to say: "not my daughter!"
Backbite: 1. helpful and/or otherwise undisclosed information 2. carnivore's delight at Chilis (or so i'm told) 3. condition corrected by braces with bumpers. [see also: Anthony Michael Hall bobble head]
now i'm spent. don't talk about me until after i've gone to bed.
Happy birthday Andy.
ReplyDeleteI hope throughout the years you have taken many an opportunity to bite back. I mean growing up with this here host, can´t have been apeaceful youth!
backbite, considerate truth (some things are just hard to say to people´s faces!)
not ready to address the nature of backbiters, who seem less dangerous on the surface than the never popular back-stabers, but in fact, are not. (i'll trade a clean cut for a festering wound any day)
ReplyDeleteinstead i'll offer a birthday greeting to another Pascover neigh Pascover née waddling monkey (for aren't we all? née waddling monkeys, that is). Happy Happy Joy Joy!
Backbite: while the verb itself may be conjugated in the first and second persons, it can be applied only in the third. (Otherwise, I guess, frontbite would be a word?)
ReplyDeleteA good word for a bad deed. Thanks, Doug.
Sorry Mister Pascova i didnt understand all the words in your defanition today but i wont complane about it behinde your back.
ReplyDeletebackbite: act of pulling a splinter from someone's eye, despite the log in one's own and/or throwing stones from the inside of that glass house you live in. (i know i know...trite, predictable, and cliché... you're welcome to complain *after* i leave, okay?)
ReplyDeleteoh, and, for the record, i had no idea you'd be referring to a beloved family member as a monkey, malodorous or otherwise, when i put up today's Snark post. (just sayin'...)
I tell only lies.
ReplyDeleteBACKBITE, v. t. To exhibit a taste for short ribs. See ANKLEBITER.
ReplyDeleteHey Joel!
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be.
:)
backbite: what Gertrude K dog does when she has a back itch - a back itch remdey!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Andy. btw, I really like malodorous xoxo
ReplyDeleteBackbite: This morning's heartburn caused by last night's Mexican takeout.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Andy!
puppy, waddling monkey? And behind my penguin back? My waddle has nothing to do with monkeys, I´ll have you know :)
ReplyDeletebackbite v. action of one formerly beloved niece when her innocent and unsuspecting aunt bends to tie said [now brat-] child's shoe. (btw: she will deny this, but I have the scar to prove it)
ReplyDeleteaiiieeee, Penguin! "waddling" is Doug's word, not mine--now that i think about it, tho', perhaps it might be prudent to ask him why he elected to use it over something less, shall we say, penguin-related. (and while you're at it, "malodorous" seems a tad egregious, as well...)
ReplyDeleteOweee! Backbite? If done just right it can be oh so delightful!
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'...
Backbide? something like calling a waddling onkey malodorous.....
ReplyDeletethat just stinks *thought laugh on way to throat*
Question: Does said malodorous waddling monkey aka Andy get along with Foxes?
backbite relative perrogative
ReplyDeleteMinka, you'll be glad to hear my brother bears his burdens with mighty shoulders and a smart @$$.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Puppybrose. We'll wait a minute on the backbiting.
a, I offer nothing but good words for bad deeds and curses for the good.
Boy, that's all a man can ask.
Puppybrose, plagiarism in the pursuit of posting is no problem. I paraphrase.
Dusty, that's why you're the most successful journalist among us.
O Ceallaigh, you have hours, only lonely. How goes the vengeance?
CJ, Walela bites Willie's back. Now that's good medicine.
Hence the perfume, Mireille?
Thanks, Joel. Malodor too, I guess.
Minka, that's something I'd just prefer not to think about.
Quilly the scar and dental records should be enough for any court.
Puppybrose, don't tell anyone I said this but he never bathes.
Cheers, Brian!
Miz B! ¡Estoy rosado!
Mo'a, two kids so far.
Quilldancer, among relatives it means love.
Backbite: The soon to be discovered pentium VIII, stolen from the Swiss by Anarcho-Menlo-Parkers.
ReplyDelete(Joel...man, that was a great one)
*looks around* OC's gone, right? Curse that little single cell for spewing his cytoplasm and giving me a freakin ear worm!
ReplyDeleteWhat's today's word?
And happy birthday to the queen's pappa, Andy!
backbite, socially accepted form of getting somoene out of your way.
ReplyDeleteVery happy Birthday, Andy! love has many words, "waddling, malodorous monkey" moved me into tears. it is so unlike of your brother to let his feelings show like that!
sawbo: saw my baby in your coat
Sar, it was the dusty one's fault, I swear. How much is that doggie in the newsroom, anyway?
ReplyDeleteDoug, you don't want to know about my hours. But "vengeance is mine, says the LORD". No, George, I was not talking to you. Nor Dick, neither.
Mule, isn't that an octium?
ReplyDeleteSar, I knew you'd understand.
Ariel, socially acceptable anti-social behavior? I've been waiting all my life for that.
O Ceallaigh, judge not lest ye be judged.
Cindra Jo, I'm kind of enjoying the two of you telling personal stories in this here public forum. Please continue.
ps - Happy Birthday to Andy.
ReplyDeleteAnd, as my wife's high school boyfriend said in a moment of profound reflection, "Why, we are all just hairless apes."
So, Andy, a monkey ain't far down the rung.
backbite: how one might retaliate to a mocking from bastard people... in lieu of a pillow?
ReplyDeletebackbite-gossiping with teeth.
ReplyDeleteYeah, yeah, yeah...it's Monday morning, punny is all you're gonna get.
Thanks, Mule. I hope your wife isn't teaching school.
ReplyDeletePuppybrose, I need one hundred thousand dollars.
Masil, doll, it's after 11.
that, and a Remains of the Day lunchbox, right?
ReplyDeleteFor my wife, Bonnie. And "My Dinner With Andre" action figures.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Andy, you great ape!
ReplyDeleteAs for backbiting?
That would be discussing lexographers who use
frivolessness
when they mean
frivolousness
in the comments when said lexographer is busy elsewhere.
Aw, its so sweet, the brotherly love just shines through.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Andy and don't let Doug's backbiting ways get you down. I guess you have a pretty thick hide by now, eh?
just make sure Bonnie wears that wonderful pantsuit you bought.
ReplyDeleteBackbite: The tactic one must resort to when one cannot reach the hand that feeds them. A skill that is very useful when one gets into corporate management without requisite skills.
ReplyDeleteLogo, thank you for both the correction and the well-placed mockery.
ReplyDeleteKyahgirl, don't get me started on the thickness of his hide. You'll make a hypocrite of me.
Puppybrose, I'm thinking Bahamian.
Mushroom, I'd have taken another way if it had been available.
as a bobble-head?
ReplyDelete...Or as Inspector Clouseau would say, Andy is a minkey.
ReplyDeleteHappy B-day, Minkey!
A backbiter is a very passionate love maker.
Backbite - Simple enough; the worst kind because you can't reach it to scratch it.
ReplyDeleteMore bacteria filled than dog bites, but hardly noticeable if you don't turn around.
ReplyDeleteI sing these blues
ReplyDeleteIn a minor key
Everybody in town's trying to BACKBITE me
I love my man
Better than I do myself
Now he's lovin' somebody else
That's why I'm singing these minor blues
Early this mornin'
On the break of day
I felt the pillow where my daddy used to lay
He left last night
Didn't say why
Didn't even kiss his mama goodbye
That's why I've got these minor blues
I combed his hair
Manicured his nails
Took my money and got him out of jail
I brought him coffee
I brought him tea
Brought him everything but the jailhouse key
That's why I'm singing these minor blues
I sing these blues
In a lowdown key
To let you know how he mistreated me
Get up in the morning
Work hard all day
Come home at night and give him all my pay
That's why I'm singing these minor blues
Nobody knows
The trouble I seen
Nobody knows my misery
Keep on singing to me
This minor key
Maybe someday he'll come back to me
That's why I'm singing these minor blues
With one of those swooping hats, pup.
ReplyDeleteJamie Dawn, you're the bim.
Terry, depends on your species.
And I don't, Alice. What happened to Orpheus already happened to me once.
Nice lyric, Shayna! Reads like Lady Day.
Happy Birthday AndyPandy!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Andy. I haven't noticed an odor. Could be there is a waddle, but nothing for Minka to envy or defend. Miz Bohemia, as my first Mother -in-Law used to say: "not my daughter!"
ReplyDeleteSar's place is really going to the dawgs. Congrats on your win.
ReplyDeleteBackbite: 1. helpful and/or otherwise undisclosed information 2. carnivore's delight at Chilis (or so i'm told) 3. condition corrected by braces with bumpers. [see also: Anthony Michael Hall bobble head]
ReplyDeletenow i'm spent. don't talk about me until after i've gone to bed.
Oh that Daddy! So silly! As in ha, ha, haaaa silly... although hey! Listen to the man people! IT WAS NOT ME! Not Daddy´s daughter FO SHO! FO SHO!
ReplyDeleteDios mio!
As for the waddling one... hmmmm! Minka?
Psssst... hermano! How's that for some backbiting? Hmmm?
ReplyDeleteHardly, Actonbell. You took avenged another middle child.
ReplyDeleteHaha, Dddragon. And a stroke for first borns.
Dad, you're damn right not grammy's daughter. I'm not surprised you missed the scent, beastmaster.
Thanks, Quilly.
Pssst, I bet Puppybrose had braces.
Hermana, you gave it your best shot. I'm guessing you're better in the frontal assault.