Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Ugliness
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
2007 Update: The inspiration for launching every ship that beauty capsizes. The heart's Scylla to desire's Charybdis.
Helen's beauty launched one thousand ships. Ugliness has launched a million since. -Herodotus
Ugliness - The current weather including showers and chilly 50 degree temps in the middle of May.
Ugliness - Describes the season to date for the New York Yankees which find themselves 9.5 games behind the dreaded Red Sox. (Luckily I am not a part of this fan base.)
ugliness - when too many mom's join a playgoup to find something for themselves to do rather than finding something for their children to do. Nothing ulgier than bored moms!
The tragedy of that story, Terry, is that no attractive duckling ever amounted to anything. Daffy? Puhleeze!
Quill, it's probably the beauty in every fairytale.
Joel, with the Chisox in third that number 9.5 is the only thing bringing tears of joy to my eyes. I'm hoping to see it at 29.5. Did that sound hostile? Dodger Blue's looking good, though, huh?
Actually, Ariel, the photographer.
So, Minka, Ugliness, n. Reflected sobreity?
CJ, why do you think kids throw stuff? To make mommy beautiful.
Fair enough, OC.
Theresa, I guess that's why, for now, cosmetic surgery is rare among the under-12 set.
Pia, that would be funny if it weren't true.
Jenna God bless us single folk, every one!
Weirsdo, I know I shouldn't but I have to say Mall Diva made me laugh for the first time. Is their anything uglier than Paris in Springtime?
Neva, I knew there was a catch.
Hate to say it, Amoeba, but Guatemala is beautiful. You have to mind poverty to think otherwise.
Ugliness: Nicely filtered out when viewed through by the bottom of a fourth glass of beer.
Speaking of Scylla abd Charybdis, I hear Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco are dating, and planning to star in a reality TV show. Where's Armaggedon when you need it?
note: Cygnet, otherwise MISTAKENLY known as duckling... you see it was just a case of mistaken Identity. If said duckling had indeed been a cygnet after all (rather than just a mere duckling), there would have been no story, because there would have been supposed ugliness to begin with, with no expectation of loveliness to come. Silly I know, and groundless to boot.
Thanks for the sympathy, Amoeba. We do help poor kids from the slums of Colombia, and I also made Mall Diva read THE GRAPES OF WRATH, not to mention the book of JOB, but so far it hasn't taken.
Ugliness: That trait which allowed a cygnet (otherwise known as "duckling") to become famous upon turning into a swan...
ReplyDeleteugliness the "beauty" in, Beauty and the Beast.
ReplyDeleteUgliness - The current weather including showers and chilly 50 degree temps in the middle of May.
ReplyDeleteUgliness - Describes the season to date for the New York Yankees which find themselves 9.5 games behind the dreaded Red Sox. (Luckily I am not a part of this fan base.)
ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. :-P
ReplyDeleteugliness,n. a physical trait erased by offereing the beholder sufficient lubrication.
ReplyDelete"beauty is in the eyes of the beerholder" who cares where it cocooned from?
ugliness - when too many mom's join a playgoup to find something for themselves to do rather than finding something for their children to do. Nothing ulgier than bored moms!
ReplyDelete:) Have a great weekend everyone!
This word brings to mind a three-panel cartoon from the golden age of MAD (i.e., pre-sellout), I think by Dave Berg in the 60s.
ReplyDeleteIn which the pulchritude of two, um, ordinary girls is being roundly dissed by three guys who are off-stage ...
until the third panel, in which we see that the looks of these dudes would have terrified Macbeth's witches.
Then again:
UGLINESS, n. The hidden essence of the most photographed. See MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL ...
Oh, and Joel? Hear the refrain of the loyal Red Sox fan.
ReplyDeleteIt's May. Speak to me again in October, when we see what ugliness hath spawned from the bowels of the Bronx.
:P
ugliness,n. A characteristic to which mothers are blind when it occurs in their offspring.
ReplyDeleteugliness,n. A disease which cosmetic surgery attempts to cure.
ugliness: a condition of the soul which no surgery can hide
ReplyDeleteugliness: what as growing in my ziploc container that I forgot in a bag. :::shudders:::
ReplyDeleteA jaundice frequently in the eyes of teen-age beholders.
ReplyDeleteUgliness: Vision of Loveliness, pre-polish 'n shine.
ReplyDeleteWeirsdo, you have my deepest sympathies. Permit me to recommend an excursion to Guatemala. Speaking of ugliness ...
ReplyDeleteugliness: a prince in a room of frogs.
ReplyDeleteThe tragedy of that story, Terry, is that no attractive duckling ever amounted to anything. Daffy? Puhleeze!
ReplyDeleteQuill, it's probably the beauty in every fairytale.
Joel, with the Chisox in third that number 9.5 is the only thing bringing tears of joy to my eyes. I'm hoping to see it at 29.5. Did that sound hostile? Dodger Blue's looking good, though, huh?
Actually, Ariel, the photographer.
So, Minka, Ugliness, n. Reflected sobreity?
CJ, why do you think kids throw stuff? To make mommy beautiful.
Fair enough, OC.
Theresa, I guess that's why, for now, cosmetic surgery is rare among the under-12 set.
Pia, that would be funny if it weren't true.
Jenna God bless us single folk, every one!
Weirsdo, I know I shouldn't but I have to say Mall Diva made me laugh for the first time. Is their anything uglier than Paris in Springtime?
Neva, I knew there was a catch.
Hate to say it, Amoeba, but Guatemala is beautiful. You have to mind poverty to think otherwise.
Story of my life, Mule.
Ugliness: What you see when you look at beauty with the wrong set of glasses.
ReplyDeleteUgliness: Nothing a good nap won't cure.
ReplyDeleteUgliness: Nicely filtered out when viewed through by the bottom of a fourth glass of beer.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Scylla abd Charybdis, I hear Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco are dating, and planning to star in a reality TV show. Where's Armaggedon when you need it?
I know I am in good company when Herodotus drops in from 400 BC.
ReplyDeleteIndie, never travel without the rose-colored ones.
ReplyDeleteG, it can't hurt.
Overdue, Al.
True, that's a real old mule. Obviously, the quote is fake, right?
Ugliness: Nothing that can't be cured with a paper bag.
ReplyDeleteUgliness: Nothing that can't be cured with a sharp stick in the eye of the beholder?
ReplyDeleteROTFL!!! @Neva
ReplyDeleteugliness,n. translucent beauty
ReplyDeleteSo, true, Nessa. That's why I keep one in my wallet.
ReplyDeleteHaha, Neva. Good line and not just because you're holding that stick.
I agree, Ariel.
Minka, that's what I wish I'd written. Well done.
ugliness is in the eyes of the beholder. then the mouth speaketh.
ReplyDeletenote: Cygnet, otherwise MISTAKENLY known as duckling... you see it was just a case of mistaken Identity. If said duckling had indeed been a cygnet after all (rather than just a mere duckling), there would have been no story, because there would have been supposed ugliness to begin with, with no expectation of loveliness to come. Silly I know, and groundless to boot.
ReplyDeleteUggliness fascination with sheepskin lined boots from Australia. Available in pink.
ReplyDeleteAlso, non sequitur, Let's Go, Red Sox!
xoxo
Thanks for the sympathy, Amoeba. We do help poor kids from the slums of Colombia, and I also made Mall Diva read THE GRAPES OF WRATH, not to mention the book of JOB, but so far it hasn't taken.
ReplyDeletemirelle, how could I forget my UGGs! Bugger, I wish I´d thought of that!
ReplyDeleteActonbell, ugliness is the main ingredient in a great personality like Sam's.
ReplyDeleteGreat point, Asiansmiles. You can't always see ugliness befre you hear it.
Terry, did you just write the Cliff's Notes on The Ugly Duckling?
Mireille, aren't you from the Midwest too? I think love and perfume have rotted your brain.
Weirsdo, I think Job took.
Minka, maybe if you thought with your feet instead of your ankles.
Yeah, Ann Arbor. But my heart lives in Red Sox Nation, D. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHerodotus can't be faked. He can only be mis-quoted.
ReplyDeleteOld Mule, I am taking my hat off to you.
ReplyDeleteMireille, there's nothing prettier than a treacherous Tiger.
ReplyDeleteOr misdirected, Mule.
Ariel, we cross-posted. Fine. Take his side.
ReplyDeleteI know only one side, mine. :-P
ReplyDelete