Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Corned
CORNED, p.p. Boosy, swipy, soaked, hog drunk, set up. (Very low and vulgar.)
Hell has no fury like a woman corned.
Hector Stuart
2008 Update: Possessed of or by grain.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day to all, but particularly the several Irish Jewish women who frequent this site, celebrating for old-time's sake.
Now where were we...Oh!!! yes corned. Aside from corned beef...did you know that almost all processed food in the US has corn syrup in it? I discovered this recently because I have a corn allergy...corny jokes have always given me hives...How is that for a set up?
I'm given to understand that corned beef was not a common meal served in Ireland. No beef, yes. Unless you count the kind of beef that led to the Troubles.
I shall be a'wearin', but not a'drinkin', of the Green today, lads and lassies. And the only "right" about that, Dawg, is because I wish to stay in the right lane on my drive home. And hope all the lost Irishmen of Hawai‘i do the same.
Jamie Dawn, by pure coincidence I am wearing green. When I remember I refuse.
Actonbell, the two are comorbid.
Mo'a, maybe someone else will take a pop at it. Not me.
Enjoy, g. Can I come?
It's a mystery to me, too, Mireille. Heaven knows cabbage is.
TLP, in school I wore a cornice. I bet your granddaughters knew.
Pretty muttish, Mutha, a mix of madmen, mongrels and maybe a mulatto. My maternal grandmother was from Wales which is as close as I get to being Irish. Mostly, though, I'm beagle.
O'moeba that was a great post. I hope people catch that link.
Hey, there, K! I heard Hindu weddings were interminable but you've been gone for months.
Quilly, you're testing my patience, piety and tourette's syndrome, *&%^@%!
Cooper, forgetting is so easy unless you come into contact with someone of genuine or imagined Irish heritage in which case the best you can be is deaf and unarmed.
I'm wearing my orange today... Grandma always told me I had to wear the orange rather than the green. Seems like in Iceland, they don't even notice that it is St. Patrick's Day.
Corned: v. What Tom Hanks did to the baby corn with his teeth in "BIG". This is actually my childrens' definition of the word.
I for one enjoy your haiku conversation both here and at Shahrazade's wedding. Quilly, no worry, I saw a film about Richard III, and a black rapper said, if the gangsters spoke like the characters of Shakespeare, a lot less murder would happen in the streets because the guys would forget what they were going to do by the time they finished talking. Rhyme can save lifes!
Quilly, I just hate that all this haikury is being missed out on by your 5-year-olds.
Ariel, that was Looking For Richard by Al Pacino and that was not a rapper, but it was a great soliloquy. My favorite line from that movie "What do you people know about Shakespeare?!?!"
Quilly, you have might! There is power in haiku: Diluted word strength.
corn reminds me of simpler times. When I used to be younger, wearing red rubber boots, I used to sneak in our neighbours cornfield and eat fresh corn. Once I found a dead fox in the field and organized excursions for the kids in my neighbourhood to see the fox in exchange for bubble gum!
I really don't know what happened to my business sense over the years!
Yes, Doug, and he is the best Richard III I have ever seen. I have the feeling he enjoyed the making of that mnovie more than any other movies he's ever made. Or at least he seemed real there.
Thank you Google Reader...I am first.
ReplyDeleteHey! I'm part Irish, so I guess I can get partly corned today.
ReplyDelete"Hell hath no fury like a woman corned."
That is just TOO funny!!!
May the Luck of the Irish be with Thee!
Don't forget to wear green today, unless that is you WANT to get pinched.
ReplyDeleteNow where were we...Oh!!! yes corned.
ReplyDeleteAside from corned beef...did you know that almost all processed food in the US has corn syrup in it?
I discovered this recently because I have a corn allergy...corny jokes have always given me hives...How is that for a set up?
Corned - the beef that Scissors will be preparing for our Kosher St. Paddy's feast.
ReplyDeleteTop o the mornin and Happy Saint Paddy's day to ya!
Funny Mo'a - great setup.
Oy and begorrah! Wonder why shamrocks aren't scented. Happy St. Patrick's Day, D! xoxo
ReplyDeleteHappy St. Pat's to you all!
ReplyDeleteI love things corned: corned dogs, corned bread, corned fritters, ... corned toes ain't so hot though.
flyuraz: this is my third try at the verifier, and if it doesn't take this time, I will be flyin' up yours sonny.
Hey! Threats work! Who knew?
ReplyDeleteI made Irish Soda Bread last night and am wearing green much to my mother's delight.
ReplyDeleteNow for the booze!
I am dying to know your ethnic heritage Doug. General mutt variety? Or would ya be from the fair isle?
And ... as you can plainly see from my picture... I AM green (it's not easy...by the way)
ReplyDeleteCORNED, p. p. A salty dog.
ReplyDeleteI'm given to understand that corned beef was not a common meal served in Ireland. No beef, yes. Unless you count the kind of beef that led to the Troubles.
I shall be a'wearin', but not a'drinkin', of the Green today, lads and lassies. And the only "right" about that, Dawg, is because I wish to stay in the right lane on my drive home. And hope all the lost Irishmen of Hawai‘i do the same.
;)
here i pop up again just like that darn corn
ReplyDeletewas away in another city attending a humungous wedding where there was eating like no tomorrow. i will live to tell the tale
bpvhgpdq: puking green
Corned beef and cabbage,
ReplyDeleteShamrocks and Irish kisses.
All mine. Get your own.
I forgot it was the day until I arrived home from school to read about it all over the place.
ReplyDeleteCorned is a word?
Cool.
Well googled, Mo'a.
ReplyDeleteJamie Dawn, by pure coincidence I am wearing green. When I remember I refuse.
Actonbell, the two are comorbid.
Mo'a, maybe someone else will take a pop at it. Not me.
Enjoy, g. Can I come?
It's a mystery to me, too, Mireille. Heaven knows cabbage is.
TLP, in school I wore a cornice. I bet your granddaughters knew.
Pretty muttish, Mutha, a mix of madmen, mongrels and maybe a mulatto. My maternal grandmother was from Wales which is as close as I get to being Irish. Mostly, though, I'm beagle.
O'moeba that was a great post. I hope people catch that link.
Hey, there, K! I heard Hindu weddings were interminable but you've been gone for months.
Quilly, you're testing
my patience, piety and
tourette's syndrome, *&%^@%!
Cooper, forgetting is so easy unless you come into contact with someone of genuine or imagined Irish heritage in which case the best you can be is deaf and unarmed.
Happy Saint Patrick's Day! The greatest holiday, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind, a wild beast corned is not safe to approach.
A steer overhead the farmer
ReplyDeletesay he was to be corned,
and ran to the grain trough.
I'm wearing my orange today... Grandma always told me I had to wear the orange rather than the green. Seems like in Iceland, they don't even notice that it is St. Patrick's Day.
ReplyDeleteCorned: v. What Tom Hanks did to the baby corn with his teeth in "BIG". This is actually my childrens' definition of the word.
I'm happy to celebrate for any sake - old time's or not.
ReplyDeleteAriel, it takes a special genius to pun in a language not your own. I'm still working on something for narancssárga.
ReplyDeleteQuilly, how long til Spring break ends?
Terry, I've heard in Ireland St. Patrick's Day is a sober holiday. This is why Irish people should never leave home.
Fair enough, g. Hope it was grand.
I return to class,
ReplyDeleteMarch 31st, at which time
you're expecting what?
O'Ceallaigh says that
ReplyDeleteyou might be feeling like corned beef
haiku pressure cooking.
O'Ceallaigh says that
my life is in jeopardy
and I don't know it.
I for one enjoy your haiku conversation both here and at Shahrazade's wedding. Quilly, no worry, I saw a film about Richard III, and a black rapper said, if the gangsters spoke like the characters of Shakespeare, a lot less murder would happen in the streets because the guys would forget what they were going to do by the time they finished talking. Rhyme can save lifes!
ReplyDeleteAriel, Dawg said --
ReplyDelete"No haiku at Bitter Bierce!"
So I had no choice.
If Dawg has me corned,
so be it. All that salt will
add savor to my verse.
Victim of a bad pun, e. g., your readers after Hector Stuart.
ReplyDeleteQuilly, I just hate that all this haikury is being missed out on by your 5-year-olds.
ReplyDeleteAriel, that was Looking For Richard by Al Pacino and that was not a rapper, but it was a great soliloquy. My favorite line from that movie "What do you people know about Shakespeare?!?!"
Quilly, you have might!
There is power in haiku:
Diluted word strength.
Hobbes, I agree. I'm still not sure I get it.
corn reminds me of simpler times. When I used to be younger, wearing red rubber boots, I used to sneak in our neighbours cornfield and eat fresh corn. Once I found a dead fox in the field and organized excursions for the kids in my neighbourhood to see the fox in exchange for bubble gum!
ReplyDeleteI really don't know what happened to my business sense over the years!
Yes, Doug, and he is the best Richard III I have ever seen. I have the feeling he enjoyed the making of that mnovie more than any other movies he's ever made. Or at least he seemed real there.
ReplyDelete