Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Oath
OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.
As a dedicated Notary Public in California, I wanted you to know the penalty for messing up giving the sacred and law-abiding oath of the jurat... only I'm too lazy to look it up. Really, I pondered this all day.
i swear i am first
ReplyDeleteEnglish language is funny. "Swear" and "oath" both mean both to promise and to curse. There's wisdom in it.
ReplyDeleteThat makes it much easier to make a promise.
ReplyDeleteI promise...let's just keep it at that ;)
Your update is the best!!
ReplyDeleteOath: Cross my heart, Hope to die, Stick a needle, In my eye. (My fingers were crossed when I said that.)
Meant to be broken.
ReplyDeleteoath: A promise made to take action, freely given, and usually heartfelt, that turns out differently than what was promised.
ReplyDeleteor
oath: A word often spoken by Wilford Brimley with a lisp. (This is a really bad pun, should it stay or should it go?)
OATH, n. Whath's for breakfasths.
ReplyDeleteYou know, of course, the day the oath became not just a promise but also a cuss word? That was the day the first lawyer was born.
ReplyDeleteOaf: A clumsy oaf stepped on my foot last night, it still hurts!
ReplyDeleteOath: I swear I heard you say 'oaf.' Or was it 'oat?'
..
I am very familiar with your definition of the word, Doug. No sooner do I make a pledge and I am compelled to do the opposite.
ReplyDeleteAgree with Jamie Dawn and TLP. An oath of office is a joke for a New York American
ReplyDeleteIn literature, the veiled utterances of melodramatic villains or, less often, boors.
ReplyDeletehave you never heard of situational ethics? HUH? xoxo
ReplyDeleteoh oath aye
ReplyDeletecan you thee
by the dawn's early lie-th. ...
So to follow your definition - a fly in the disapp-ointment.
ReplyDeleteOkay, with that I'll go to bed.
G'night.
As a dedicated Notary Public in California, I wanted you to know the penalty for messing up giving the sacred and law-abiding oath of the jurat... only I'm too lazy to look it up. Really, I pondered this all day.
ReplyDeleteKarma, I testify it is so.
ReplyDeleteAriel, English is the Chinese of the channel.
Kept, Mo'a.
JD, no take-backs!
TLP, and so it shall be, amen.
Poobah, it's oathay.
Amoeba, thath thauthage.
Ah yes, Quilly. The Litigant lobefish.
Oast, Jim. Wasn't it?
Nessa, as Augustine of Hippo wrote , that which I would do, I do not. That which I would not do, I do.
Pia, a New York American? Can such things be?
Weirsdo, in real life, mostly boors.
Mireille, it depends.
Sauerkraut, every American heart races at the sound of a lisping anthem.
Haha, G.
Terry, notaries are the conscience of America.
You'd be right, Lily.
Oath! That's sort of the sound Icy makes when she jumps off the step from the house.
ReplyDelete