BARRISTER, n. One of the ten thousand varieties of the genus Lawyer. In England the functions of a barrister are distinct from those of a solicitor. The one advises, the other executes; but the thing advised and the thing executed is the client.
2009 Update: One admitted to the bar for the purpose of transforming a client's jeopardy into a jury's agony. A barrister should not be confused with a barristra, the distinction being that the barrister makes foam without mechanical assistance and espresso over the course of a season.
Bonus >>> This blog serves coffee!!!
ReplyDeletewould you like chocolate sprinkles with your foam?!
ReplyDeleteI think both Bierce and You are in excellent "foam" today.
ReplyDeletebarrister,n. one more human to avoid "physical contact" with, unless you want to be billed twice for ... pretty much the same service.
(trying to make it child friendly, given all the babies reading this blog!)
Bierce Cafe
ReplyDeleteCoffee ....$1.99
with chocolate sprinkles & foam .... $ Costs more.
espresso only .... $ Costs more than that (includes lemon peel)
Minka, thank you for your kind thoughfulness regarding my delicate years and spotless mind
ReplyDelete:p
I'd rather have a barrista!
A barrister will advise you too sue when the barrista sells you hot coffee without the printed injury warning label.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to read the "real" reasons for the large settlement in the McDonald's coffee lawsuit go HERE (written by an attorney group, of course.)
you can have great fun sliding down on one ... wait a minute, that's bannister
ReplyDeleteormacsn: an arm and a leg
BARRISTER, n. One of several classes of leech which perceives what our Just Desserts are, and engorges itself ensuring that We get them.
ReplyDeleteY'wanna know the reason why McDonald's coffee was scalding hot?
"Damn you, when I order hot coffee, I want hot coffee! What's the matter with you scumbags?"
I was there ...
Monika, thank you! I didn't know it was so obvious, I am so willing to read anyhting as long as I can have chocolate with it. :)
ReplyDeleteDespite the fact that it pertains to lawyers, this word is really very straight forward when broken down to its root parts:
ReplyDeleteBAR, n. a barrier or ban
RIST, abbr. radioimmunosorbent test a method which uses radioactive antibodies to bond to a substance, allowing that substance to be identified and extracted.
-ER, prefix meaning "one who"
BARRISTER n. one who bonds himself to a litigants's case for the purpose of extracting the litigant's profit into his own pocket.
This definition brought to you by OCQ LLC
A person we love to hate, and make fun of, but to whom we turn fast enough when we're in trouble.
ReplyDeleteYour update was so really funny even though I have no idea what it means!
ReplyDeleteMy verifier is pettifogger.
Please!! No legal terms!!! I cannot take it!!!!
ReplyDeleteJust kidding.
I can handle it. After all, I'm an expert at taking the witness stand and facing barristers.
Objection!
I think we definitely need more of one and less of the other. Coffee Addict that I am, I imagine you can guess without a hint which one I need less.
ReplyDeleteKaren, I'm thinking of putting in a waffle iron.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your discretion, Minka. The suit is withdrawn.
Actually, Karen, the whole menu comes with grated lemon peel.
That probably depends on which bar you're at, Logo.
Nessa, listening to a barrister and drinking hot coffee are both choices.
Even so, K.
I still am, Amoeba. And I agree.
Actonbell, I didn't think of that. Ha, for sure.
Oh, it's obvious, Ariel.
Quilly, Amoeba's rubbing off, I see.
Very true, TLP.
Lammy, rorschach jokes are kind of the house specialty.
Sustained!
I can, Coop. Now, between barristas and architects...