Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Noise
Noise, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.
2005 Update: An incoherent buzzing caused by research, reflection or a mosquito's wings. Any interruption of spin.
noise: so much more appreciated than silence caused by ignorance, fear, anger or lack of interest. And I scream from the top of my voice: "I am first!"
Noise: any sound made by the man upstairs--no, my upstairs neighbor; the construction in the brownstone next door, and any sound made by any resident of that building; car alarms; manhole covers; politicians talking, and any sound that isn't music to me ears at that moment
1. The machine delivering specifically crafted political spin which is delivered in unison ad nauseam in an attempt to promote an agenda or, alternatively, serve as a distraction and diversion. (See polarizing snow job.)
Rio, that kind of captures a lot of your story, doesn't it?
Marwa, I hit about five sore spots, didn't I? Sorry about that.
Ariel, that's really great. This morning I was trying to use the bible's "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" but didn't have the brain-power. I've been waiting for you and that line since.
Ambrose's "stench in the ear" is brilliant. Not to say yours wasn't brilliant, but his was expecially brilliant.
Noise: Ear assault. I've been going to hear my son's band play, and I come prepared with ear plugs. They cut down the volume enough for me to enjoy it.
Noise: The sound of 3 Doug related kids and 6 Doug related adults in 2000 square feet of livable space for 3 days---or the sounds made by anyone of those bipeds anywhere in the universe for any length of time.
I AM BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! YEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY IS IT SO QUIET IN HERE??? WAKE UP EVERYBODY, ITS PARTY TIME!!! MONIKA, TURN UP THE VOLUME. SAR, BRING OUT THE PANCAKES. AP3, START CHANTING. DDDRAGON, HURRY UP AND COME HERE. MIZ B, POP THE CHAMPAGNE. MAMA, GIVE ME A BIG HUG. LISA, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU??? IF I HAVE LEFT SOMEONE OUT, SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR NOT BEING HERE.
No need to console me, Jamie Dawn. A stench in the ear is very funny. I kinda want a do-over now, though.
Hey, Mama! Yeah it was a loud weekend. Those kids. Always horsing around.
I agree, Actonbell, fear of God and common sense would have done him a world of good. Hope Dead Guy's party didn't disturb your cruise. Snap! It's Monday!
Sorry, Karma. I was chopping some ice. Welcome home. Hors D'ouevre?
Some definition, Gabriel. Meaningless noise.
Thanks, Miz B. There's nothing in the punch is there?
But, Sar. I didn't bring pajamas.
Masil, I hear you. Those kids and their Woody Hermann.
Yeah, Fred, or when you see the mechanic.
Sar, you've been epic today.
I hope all of you are enjoying with me that the word noise is bringing in more comments than I've ever seen here. If I post "Discord" will you throw apples?
Heehaw, TLP. Don't mind us, we're just trying to have some fun. You, in the back, a little lighter on the accordion. Dddragon! That's a wall, not a head-drum!
Noise, n. 1. Rap music. Also, military music, and all music created by people who can be accurately described as earnest. 2. What I hear when I'm not talking.
noise: so much more appreciated than silence caused by ignorance, fear, anger or lack of interest.
ReplyDeleteAnd I scream from the top of my voice: "I am first!"
Sounds made enthusiastically to an unappreciative world.
ReplyDeleteNoise: any sound made by the man upstairs--no, my upstairs neighbor; the construction in the brownstone next door, and any sound made by any resident of that building; car alarms; manhole covers; politicians talking, and any sound that isn't music to me ears at that moment
ReplyDeleteDoug: If you haven't already, check out GOTB's interview of Alice. It's very flattering about this site.
ReplyDeleteNoise:
ReplyDelete1. The machine delivering specifically crafted political spin which is delivered in unison ad nauseam in an attempt to promote an agenda or, alternatively, serve as a distraction and diversion. (See polarizing snow job.)
Noise- constant static, usually in the form of sound, responsible for disturbing peace of mind, tranquility, serenity...
ReplyDeleteI hate noise. I HATE IT!
(This struck a nerve Doug... ;-) )
My word verification letters spell out tpiss... t piss or not t piss...
noise, n. The sound of Doug's blog, period. Devil, get thee OUT!
ReplyDeleteMonika, we all know you're first. No need to shout. A barely audible buzzing is more than enough.
ReplyDeleteWeirsdo, I thought that was violin.
Pia, maybe AP3 can teach us how to make that silence.
Sar, there's nothing worse than a polarizing snow job. I hear ya.
Sugarcornpop, I thought that was the music of the spheres. Both of your contributions, actually. Welcome and join the fun.
Easy, Mz Bohemia. I'll whisper from now on.
Soapy! I think it worked. I can walk!
Noise: The rantings of bloggers.
ReplyDelete2. Interruption from one's viewing pleasure. (See commercials on tv and spam in blogsphere.)
ReplyDeletenoise, n. Anything that comes out of W's mouth.
ReplyDeleteIs that you, Alice? That sweet dulcet rant?
ReplyDeleteSar, those would be good examples, yes.
Yep, Aral, it isn't often a sonnet.
noise~ anything I don't wish to hear...includes instructions.
ReplyDeletenoise, n - The fearful and attrocious sound that comes from the mouth of one with whom you disagree.
ReplyDeletenoise, that sound I say is the sound of reason.
ReplyDeleteAriella, it's no conincidence noise begins with no I guess.
ReplyDeletePoobah, not really.
Blah, blah, blah, Sree.
3. Heavy metal music to those who don't appreciate it.
ReplyDeletepjmpsl: please may I stay in my pjs? Which reminds me, isn't Karma supposed be back by now?
unpurposeful sound or very purposeful sound that no one wants to hear.
ReplyDeletei cant sleep without noise
Ok I HATE NOISE so much first of all.
ReplyDeleteNoise: Retardo's voice (Check my old blog to find more about Retardo, located at marwa.blog-city.com).
An advice you don't want to hear.
The sound of my my spinning mind.
Others' laughter when you're feeling blue. That's noise.
noise: mercy. the proof of my sense of hearing.
ReplyDeleteSar, is that like racket?
ReplyDeleteRio, that kind of captures a lot of your story, doesn't it?
Marwa, I hit about five sore spots, didn't I? Sorry about that.
Ariel, that's really great. This morning I was trying to use the bible's "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" but didn't have the brain-power. I've been waiting for you and that line since.
Ambrose's "stench in the ear" is brilliant. Not to say yours wasn't brilliant, but his was expecially brilliant.
ReplyDeleteNoise: Ear assault. I've been going to hear my son's band play, and I come prepared with ear plugs. They cut down the volume enough for me to enjoy it.
Noise: The sound of 3 Doug related kids and 6 Doug related adults in 2000 square feet of livable space for 3 days---or the sounds made by anyone of those bipeds anywhere in the universe for any length of time.
ReplyDeleteI AM BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!! YEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWHY IS IT SO QUIET IN HERE??? WAKE UP EVERYBODY, ITS PARTY TIME!!! MONIKA, TURN UP THE VOLUME. SAR, BRING OUT THE PANCAKES. AP3, START CHANTING. DDDRAGON, HURRY UP AND COME HERE. MIZ B, POP THE CHAMPAGNE. MAMA, GIVE ME A BIG HUG. LISA, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU??? IF I HAVE LEFT SOMEONE OUT, SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR NOT BEING HERE.
Doug, keep quiet
Noise, n. Other people's music.
ReplyDeleteI also like the Korzybski definition, but I'll let you Google that one on your own.
)+(
POP! Drink up people!
ReplyDeleteYay! Karma's in the house! Bring On The Funk, Bring On The NOISE!
ReplyDeleteBtw, Karma, I also declare it a pajama party!
noise-one of the distinct signs of aging, usually when the music of those crazy kids begins to sound cacophonous
ReplyDeleteNoise: Something that goes away when you turn up the car radio.
ReplyDelete4. And finally, the reverberating echo that signifies the kids have returned from school.
ReplyDeleteNo need to console me, Jamie Dawn. A stench in the ear is very funny. I kinda want a do-over now, though.
ReplyDeleteHey, Mama! Yeah it was a loud weekend. Those kids. Always horsing around.
I agree, Actonbell, fear of God and common sense would have done him a world of good. Hope Dead Guy's party didn't disturb your cruise. Snap! It's Monday!
Sorry, Karma. I was chopping some ice. Welcome home. Hors D'ouevre?
Some definition, Gabriel. Meaningless noise.
Thanks, Miz B. There's nothing in the punch is there?
But, Sar. I didn't bring pajamas.
Masil, I hear you. Those kids and their Woody Hermann.
Yeah, Fred, or when you see the mechanic.
Sar, you've been epic today.
I hope all of you are enjoying with me that the word noise is bringing in more comments than I've ever seen here. If I post "Discord" will you throw apples?
Noise,n., Ear pollution.
ReplyDeleteWhy do your suppose pipers march when they play ? To get as far away from the noise as possible.
BTW, you guys have been making so much noise over here that my windows have been rattling. KNOCK IT THE HECK OFF! Don't make me come over there.
ReplyDeleteykteyk: Yakety yak.
Discord? You're lookin' for apples? Golden ones I guess. I see the core of your problem here.
ReplyDeleteTOO MUCH NOISY TRAFFIC.
(Just tryin' to get your comment numbers up.)
Heehaw, TLP. Don't mind us, we're just trying to have some fun. You, in the back, a little lighter on the accordion. Dddragon! That's a wall, not a head-drum!
ReplyDeleteNoise, n. 1. Rap music. Also, military music, and all music created by people who can be accurately described as earnest. 2. What I hear when I'm not talking.
ReplyDeletegood idea, Sar. i havent unpacked yet, but I'M WEARING PINK PAJAMAS!!!
ReplyDeleteI'll have another one of that sliced boiled egg toppped with caviar, thanks, Doug
saasmph: sound at around seventy miles per hour
No Doug I won't throw apples, but if you post "concession" I'll bob for them.
ReplyDeleteHey Karma, we match!
I made you feel that your definition is sub-par. How terrible of me. But, you can't ALWAYS be better than Ambrose Bierce!
ReplyDeleteThat’s perfect. I can’t top it as I have had that damn buzzing in my head all day long.
ReplyDeletewE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHY i HAVEN'T SCRATCHED YOU BEHIND THE EARS. HINT: iT HAS TO DO WITH THE FLEAS.........
Anonymous wasnt Alice, you panting Dawg!
ReplyDeleteAndrew, regarding your second definition, that's dialogue, my friend.
ReplyDeleteComing right up karma.
No, Sar, you're having eggs.
Jamie Dawn, once a month is fine.
Alice, those aren't fleas, they're scholar bugs. They don't bite, they leer.
Haha.
Oh and for the record none of those aNONYMOUS THINGS WERE ME . i WILL NOT TAKE RERSPONSIBILITY FOR SUCH DRIVEL.
ReplyDeleteSCHOLAR BUGS..YEA JUST LIKE THE ROACHES UNDER MY BED ARE SPIES.
that was me.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha
ReplyDeleteOther than your birthday, was NOISE a record response?
ReplyDeleteSee, when you give us a little word we can all understand, we come through for you.
I think it must have been, right?
ReplyDeleteYou're so haughty, you had to get the last word, didn't you?
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDelete