Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Applause
APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.
2006 Update: An appreciation of talent using the hands when the feet are blocked.
Happy Birthday to Shayna, I've been on your porch since midnight. I could use a sandwich.
Applause: Thank you, thank you. Please, that's not necessary. Really, you're too kind. Oh stop, you'll all make a gal blush. ;)
Commencing my own *applause* recognizing Actonbell being first, AP3's kickass definition, Minka's invite to join her for cake, and of course for Shayna's birthday - happy birthday Shayna!
Is ironic applause ever used anywhere outside of Germany? I first heard it here on a radio broadcast back when reunification occurred. Somebody who wasn't supposed to speak somehow made it to the microphone and started off a few clever blurbs (much like Doug might have said). The audience, though, began applauding to drown him out and wouldn't stop until he left.
I'm not sure I've seen applause used quite that way, Indie, but I've seen it insincere a time or two.
Interesting, Ariel. Must be a Holy Roman Empire thing. Probably invented by Otto I. Originally it may have been a form of torture like singing and comedy.
I'll sell my soul for a song Pay the price and carry on And share with you some memories of dreams I can't forget Lovers I have met Applause, applause, let's give the prize To the little lady with the stars in her eyes
Applause, applause, give the singer a chance Treat him right Be polite Maybe he will dance
Applause, applause, give the singer a break How much ca n you give, how much can you take Give the singer a chance, give the singer a chance Anything to buy your soul, and maybe he will dance
Applause, applause, he will stand upon his head Applause, applause, he'll take you to his bed And share with you the memories of dreams he can't forget Applause, applause, let's give the prize To the little lady with the stars in her eyes
And I'll sell my soul for a song Pay the price and carry on And share with you the memories of dreams I can't forget Lovers I have met Applause, applause, let's give the prize To the little lady with the stars in her eyes
Applause, applaus, give the singer a chance Treat him right, be polite And maybe he will dance Applause, applause, give the singer a break How much can you give, how much can you take Oh, give the singer a chance, give the singer a chance Anyhting to buy your soul, and maybe he will dance Maybe he will dance Maybe he will dance, yeah
***Doug why didn't you come through the Doggy Door*** :)
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes... stop by and have some virtual cake, drinks, dancing, etc..
Applause usually follows when I trip over something, say air. And then it's a standing ovation. At which point I curtsey prettily for the crowd and continue down the stairs while rubbing my butt that connected with the concrete step at the Saddledome.
I thank everyday that that was not a televised hockey game. Every. Day. Phew.
Ironic applause? yes soudns like a German could have come up with that, clapping along to this jolly idea-out of rhythm and on teh worng beat :) Ah, we Germans!
Applause is so stimulating and exciting that some people do it for themselves. (You know those people whose eyes glaze over when the conversation wanders away from themselves.)
In that case, applause is mental masturbation. Otherwise it's either foreplay or an evaluation.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to SHAYNA!!!!! ----------- Applause: Obligatory response during live performance. Sometimes deserved, sometimes not. ---------- Sometimes I applaud something on TV. My family looks at me like I'm crazy. But, when applause is deserved, I freely give it.
Great definition, Doug!
ReplyDeleteapplause, n. A self-waking mechanism used by audiences from elementary school concerts to the State of the Union.
ReplyDeleteapplause, n. a sign that the doer is grateful for something. Usually, that that something is over and one can proceed to the food!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Shayna. Can I have a piece of cake, please?
*clap, clap for Actonbell*
ReplyDeleteHaha, Aral. Good definition.
And good definition, Minka. OK, on to the buffet.
Applause: Thank you, thank you. Please, that's not necessary. Really, you're too kind. Oh stop, you'll all make a gal blush. ;)
ReplyDeleteCommencing my own *applause* recognizing Actonbell being first, AP3's kickass definition, Minka's invite to join her for cake, and of course for Shayna's birthday - happy birthday Shayna!
Is ironic applause ever used anywhere outside of Germany? I first heard it here on a radio broadcast back when reunification occurred. Somebody who wasn't supposed to speak somehow made it to the microphone and started off a few clever blurbs (much like Doug might have said). The audience, though, began applauding to drown him out and wouldn't stop until he left.
ReplyDeleteoh we do that a lot, too. I have never known it is called ironic applause but have always loved how it works.
ReplyDeleteEncore, Sar, encore!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I've seen applause used quite that way, Indie, but I've seen it insincere a time or two.
Interesting, Ariel. Must be a Holy Roman Empire thing. Probably invented by Otto I. Originally it may have been a form of torture like singing and comedy.
I'll sell my soul for a song
ReplyDeletePay the price and carry on
And share with you some memories of dreams I can't forget
Lovers I have met
Applause, applause, let's give the prize
To the little lady with the stars in her eyes
Applause, applause, give the singer a chance
Treat him right
Be polite
Maybe he will dance
Applause, applause, give the singer a break
How much ca n you give, how much can you take
Give the singer a chance, give the singer a chance
Anything to buy your soul, and maybe he will dance
Applause, applause, he will stand upon his head
Applause, applause, he'll take you to his bed
And share with you the memories of dreams he can't forget
Applause, applause, let's give the prize
To the little lady with the stars in her eyes
And I'll sell my soul for a song
Pay the price and carry on
And share with you the memories of dreams I can't forget
Lovers I have met
Applause, applause, let's give the prize
To the little lady with the stars in her eyes
Applause, applaus, give the singer a chance
Treat him right, be polite
And maybe he will dance
Applause, applause, give the singer a break
How much can you give, how much can you take
Oh, give the singer a chance, give the singer a chance
Anyhting to buy your soul, and maybe he will dance
Maybe he will dance
Maybe he will dance, yeah
***Doug why didn't you come through the Doggy Door*** :)
Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes... stop by and have some virtual cake, drinks, dancing, etc..
Applause for Shayna, mucho much applause, because she's worth it
ReplyDeleteSar your day is coming very very soon--but I'll applaud you anyway
Applause for the dawg's entire blogroll--best in the blogosphere
And there might be more applause for other things later this week
Oh yeah, applaud Doug, for having the sense a dawg or two or ten gave him
Thank you to my adoring fans Doug & Pia.
ReplyDelete*curtsying*
Happy day to Shayna.
ReplyDeleteSalvo and cheer to you all for some good definitions. I particularly like AP3's.
Applause is addicting. Praise someone of any age for something, and you'll get an encore.
Great definition from Dog,
ReplyDeleteApplause so addicting and you can now purchaseit on Ebay.
I applaud you all.
Applause usually follows when I trip over something, say air. And then it's a standing ovation. At which point I curtsey prettily for the crowd and continue down the stairs while rubbing my butt that connected with the concrete step at the Saddledome.
ReplyDeleteI thank everyday that that was not a televised hockey game. Every. Day. Phew.
Douglas, it takes 2 hands to give someone the clap
ReplyDeletehappy birthday Shayna! i'm crashing the party. where's the Jamaican rum punch?
ulsavcv: ya'll will drool over my curriculum vitae
Shayna, are we having checkers too? Happy Birthday once more.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Pia! *Bows* *Wags*
OK, Sar, *ironic applause*
TLP, great definition! *claps*
Cooper, you shouldn't just give it away!
Jenna, that has the ring of a true story.
Karma, that's hysterical. Untrue I hear, but hysterical. You page on recent speeches is exciting.
applause-the graceful way to hoot n' hollar.
ReplyDeleteThen applaud me, TLP, for getting to this age and still being feisty, eh? (sorry for scratching you ... I really didn't mean it!)
ReplyDeleteCowgirl, that is just beyond brilliance. I want that on my wall.
ReplyDeleteMasil, I know how you do.
Chatcat, that is pure feline logic.
Tatooed, please.
ReplyDeleteI helped myself to three slices of teh wonderful cake and another one, when noone was looking!
ReplyDeleteIronic applause? yes soudns like a German could have come up with that, clapping along to this jolly idea-out of rhythm and on teh worng beat :)
ReplyDeleteAh, we Germans!
If applause isn't heard in the forest, does it mean there is no platitude?
ReplyDeleteApplause is the spur of noble minds, the end and aim of weak ones.
ReplyDeleteSorry, can't remember who said it.
What? True story?!? No. Not at all. It was fiction. Pure, unadulturated fiction. Applause please. Curtsies prettily and sashays away.
ReplyDeleteApplause is so stimulating and exciting that some people do it for themselves. (You know those people whose eyes glaze over when the conversation wanders away from themselves.)
ReplyDeleteIn that case, applause is mental masturbation. Otherwise it's either foreplay or an evaluation.
Not that I would know.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to SHAYNA!!!!!
ReplyDelete-----------
Applause: Obligatory response during live performance.
Sometimes deserved, sometimes not.
----------
Sometimes I applaud something on TV. My family looks at me like I'm crazy. But, when applause is deserved, I freely give it.
Oh I don't give it away...these people pay me well..
ReplyDeleteOh you didn't know ....did you?
*ironic applause*, Doug?! Hmph!
ReplyDeleteWANTED: New favorite blog dog. Seeking a clever and kind blog dog. Good behavior will be handsomely rewarded with plentiful *pats*.
(TLP - your last comment was seriously lol!)
Zose Germans! Have some cake, Minka. In fact, take the rest.
ReplyDeleteCowgirl, why am I not surprised?
Poobah, I assure you that as long as men describe trees falling in the forest there will be platitudes also.
It's a great quote, Logo. I suppose my work is done here.
Encore, Jenna!
I'm sorry, TLP. You were saying?
You do, Jamie Dawn. When it's deserved or when it seems wanting or when it's funnier than silence, I've learned to depend on your clapping.
I don't need to know Alice. My wallet's on the living room table. Help yourself.
Sar, did you try Craig's list?
One paw clapping.
ReplyDeleteDoug & Ariel: This "ironic applause" usage must be something European. It seems like I've come across it here a few times.
ReplyDeleteWhat's that sound like, Icy?
ReplyDeleteYeah, Indie. Here in the states we mostly still use firearms.