Monday, August 07, 2006

Arbitration

ARBITRATION, n. A patent medicine for allaying international heat, designed to supersede the old-school treatment of blood-letting. It makes the unsuccessful party to the dispute hate two or more nations instead of one- to the unspeakable advantage of peace.

2006 Update: A formula for prevention of conflagaration by adding a prelate to litigation, where a litigant and a legatee agree to appointed referee because resolution of an allegation benefits by simplification.

44 comments:

  1. I am gonna arbitrate the idea that this is far to difficult a word to contemplate when one has just woken up! At a later point today however I will do my utmost to engage both of my brain cells, and maybe those two will be able to find some common ground.
    As for now, I do believe I am first and there is no arguing with that!

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  2. Anonymous4:56 AM

    let's put this word, arbitration, on the table, and see if we can't find a way to convince you to come up with a term less challenging to anyone's brain cells on Mondays.

    that said, i'll not argue with teh Penguin... she is, indeed, first! and i wish her brain cells all good luck whilst engaged in their effort to arbitrate a clever connotation for this word!

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  3. Thank you Puppytoes, they are still working on it I believe!

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  4. Anonymous5:36 AM

    King Solomon: One of arbitration's all-time superstars. In fact, he is often refered to as the "father"of same.

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  5. Anonymous5:59 AM

    arbitration? tht's a lot of blah, blah, blahing until someone throws a coffee mug and then it gets pretty exciting!

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  6. Anonymous6:03 AM

    No, son, Arbitration is . . .. Oh, never mind. where is my coffee

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  7. Anonymous6:07 AM

    arbitration: process through which everyone wins and no one is happy.

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  8. Huh? What'dchyasay?

    This is an arbitrary choice of a word for Monday. Kinda mean too.

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  9. Arbitration: The lucrative televised process of conflict resolution in which the stupidity of morons who can't think for themselves is displayed before the world.

    See: Nanny 911 and Dr. Phil.

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  10. Anonymous7:52 AM

    arbitration a mythilogical process where both time and money is saved by hiring a mediator to take the other persons side.

    :) Must have had a glass of pessimissim with my breakfast today.

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  11. Anonymous7:53 AM

    Salary Arbitration: The process by which employers give work hard to discredit, diminish, and belittle the efforts of an individual employee they are determined to retain.

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  12. I got nothin'!
    So I am quoting:

    “International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one”

    Ambrose Bierce

    I´ve done well, no?!

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  13. Minka, I suspect in arbitration someone might argue that while you appear to be first, that's only a chronological assessment. I'll take your side, though.

    OK, Puppybrose, you can do "Bellicose."

    Clever, Joel. The "Father" of baby-splitting.

    Jenna, that's probably the perfect definition.

    Pop, why do I think you were about to correct me and prove my point in the same paragraph?

    Nice, Puppybrose.

    TLP, it was just bad page-turning on my part.

    Sar, I knew I could count on you to bring reality TV into this somehow. Well done.

    CJ, that's always a good beverage before stopping by this site.

    Joel, it doesn't sound very rational when you put it like that. Should we mentally delete the word "give?"

    Yes, Minka, you did good. It makes me wonder, since this was at the top of a left-hand page if there was another definition I should have included. If so, thanks for covering up my lazy negligence.

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  14. Yup, there aren't even that many comments and every semi-clever thought I had has been improved on by someone else already.
    Its Monday!

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  15. Anonymous8:27 AM

    Doug...yes mentally delete "give" if you would please to compensate for my poor proofing and editing!

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  16. arbitration - a unilateral decision by someone else

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  17. Geez Doug: Float like a butterfly sting like a bee.

    I need another dictionary, legalize for this one...I'll be back.

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  18. Arbitration: Shooting from the mouth instead of shooting with guns. I guess. Maybe. I'm conflicted about this.

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  19. Anonymous9:02 AM

    who are you calling BELLICOSE? and WHERE did i put my shovel?

    arbitration: the foundation for strong-armed compliance under the guise of a compromising hand-shake.

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  20. I do believe parents know what arbitration is.

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  21. Anonymous10:16 AM

    Jenna, that's probably the perfect definition.

    Gasp! Swoon! Thud!

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  22. Arbitration: A false promise of cost savings; a form of dispute resolution under which litigants exchange one lawsuit concerning the merits of a dispute for multiple lawsuits, first regarding the validity of the agreement to arbitrate and then later regarding the validity of the arbitration award . . . and they still have to arbitrate the underlying dispute in the middle.

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  23. Anonymous10:29 AM

    Arbitration follows constipation in the negotiation sequence of events.

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  24. arbitration-paying somebody to explain to you what you should have learned in kindergarten.

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  25. Logo, maybe you can negotiate having your coffee and laptop brought to you just as you wake up?

    Joel, what "give?"

    V.I., welcome back. Are you arbitrating with aloe vera?

    Mutha, quoting Cassius Clay is always good enough and it absolves you from making even a little sense.

    TLP, we can discuss your conflict like civilized adults.

    Puppybrose, I just offered a simple word for you to define because I'm sensitive to your feelings about this being a Monday. What's with all the anger?

    Ariel, it's called a good swift kick.

    Brian, here's the bad news. I'm the guy that signs my paycheck and it doesn't make negotiating with the alarm clock the least bit easier.

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  26. Jenna, please. Pillow?

    Gnat, sounds like a man who's been to law school.

    Joel, I would say Arbitration follows instigation and causes constipation in delivering the allocation.

    Masil, absolutely.

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  27. ARBITRATION: 1. birds in their little nests being made to agree on condition of red retribution.
    2. talk softly, carry a bigger stick than anyone else; i.e. U.S. foreign policy

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  28. So, a rabbi, a priest and an imam walk into this bar...

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  29. Goodness gracious - all of those big words give me a headache! I like definition:

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  30. So, attempting to find resolution of controversy outside the court system ... a means of circumventing paying reasonable and customary attorney fees ... AND a siphoning-off of the paralegals' trickle-down salary stream (although SOMEBODY gets paid in this whole thing)... um, wonder if the rootword "arbit" had any relation to the German "arbeit" ... just amusing myself with cascade-of-thought. Or something. Alliterative. You sign your own paychecks? Heh. xoxo

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  31. Anonymous1:30 PM

    *lifts head, takes pillow* Thanks. *lowers head back down*

    Arbitration is just melodrama with a fancy spin on it and the use of big words.

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  32. Thank you Muhamad, Ali that is.

    Alright, I'll be brave even though I've been absolved.

    My Webster's says: Settlement of a dispute by lay judges. Lay judges? Pretty cushy job, don't ya' think? How much schoolin ya need to be a lay judge? And is it "lay" as in "lie" or as in "got laid"?

    Shoot...I think I blew the G-Rating...I should have stuck with the Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card.

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  33. Brian, waking up isn't arbitrary, and I would fire him but I have vet bills to pay.

    First Nations, it turns out you need a lot of sticks.

    Great point, G. The middle east needs fewer arbitrators and more bartenders.

    Terry, I love Calvin and Hobbes.

    Mireille, a computer signs then but I authorize them. I'm afraid you're overqualified.

    Jenna, "Melodrama" is four syllables. Can you dumb it down for me a little?

    Mutha, I'll xerox you another.

    Actonbell, I hope it was grand. Spot of birthday tea?

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  34. Anonymous4:17 PM

    your response to Jenna was curiously timely. for (in that bellicose fashion i apparently have) i was *just* about to ask if arbitration--along with your multi-syllabic definition--was your little means for enhancing the content of this blog in order to elevate your own Flesch Keebler-Krackwhore-Kincaid Score... but after reading what yo said to her, i'm guessing the answer is "no".

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  35. Anonymous4:18 PM

    yo... or *you*. yo know who yo are.

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  36. Hi Doug..

    Its a pacific northwest beach. While the mornings were awesome, the wind picked up in the afternoon, so kite flying weather and the water...you need a full wetsuit, booties and a hood to stay in the water on a board, for any lenght of time, unless you are 8. Then it seems, it doesnt matter.

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  37. Puppybrose, my ambition is to develop a first-grade vocabulary, yo!

    I'm curious if you wore that cap, VI. Do they hunt aenemone?

    So, Poobah, how is that different from litigation, legislation, impersonation, instigation or consummation?

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  38. arbitration is ...why bother, life´s too short! :)

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  39. Anonymous7:35 PM

    Can I dumb it down, Doug? Yes.

    Will I? No.

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  40. Arbitration: The determination of an arbitrary solution.

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  41. Icelandic Arbitration, n. The Holm.

    Little Blue Pill, you're supposed to be easy, young lady.

    Indie, Buckeye Arbitration, n. A two-headed coin.

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  42. Doug,
    It isn't. Those are just synonyms.

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  43. I figured, Brer Poobah

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