The Declamation
A great man stood elevated on the marble steps of a great building in a great city with a vast crowd before and beneath him. He raised his arms. "Brothers and Sisters," He cried out. "Now is the people's hour. Now is the time for us to honor one another as we do our celebrities, rulers and dignitaries. Now is the time, my friends, to see our neighbor in the same glow of dignity and find in our brother the same charismatic gravity we accord to the rich, the famous or the powerful!"
A little boy in the crowd turned aside from his affairs and looked up at the man who, realizing he had been noticed, ran behind a statue of a lion, dragging his broom.
A little boy in the crowd turned aside from his affairs and looked up at the man who, realizing he had been noticed, ran behind a statue of a lion, dragging his broom.
Moral: Great leaders are revealed by distracted children and covered with lions.
The Pious Sparrow and The Marmot
On a warm and lazy summer day, a pious sparrow saw a marmot on the creekbank below. The marmot was prone with his head between his two front paws and the sparrow alit beside him. "Are you praying? Are you praying?" the holy bird asked over and over.
The marmot opened one eye at the chirping and answered her: "Indeed, I worship the great God, Morpheus." Satisfied, the sparrow took wing and said a Hosanna to blessed Zephyr. Nearby, the sparrow's cousin, crow, said a thanksgiving to Hades for the flesh of an itinerant rabbit who had been asking the favor of Saint Christopher at the moment the car struck.
The marmot opened one eye at the chirping and answered her: "Indeed, I worship the great God, Morpheus." Satisfied, the sparrow took wing and said a Hosanna to blessed Zephyr. Nearby, the sparrow's cousin, crow, said a thanksgiving to Hades for the flesh of an itinerant rabbit who had been asking the favor of Saint Christopher at the moment the car struck.
Moral: Look both ways before prayer.
Big announcement: Old Mule and I want you and your blogging friends to gather together a year or so from now so we can eat meet you. For more information click here.
ANONYMITY, n. The laureate of every toast, a deputy Dionysus.
I always check every direction before prayer. Somebody might see me.
ReplyDeleteAnonymity: The state of chicken-heartedness. Too embarrassed to claim your action or word.
ReplyDeleteHappy 2nd Blogaversary!
ReplyDeleteANONYMITY, n. The cherished possession of every malefactor and his champions in the ACLU. See Real ID.
Anonymity, something lost in a factory in NYC, when Andy declared that every person in America will have 15 minutes of fame....he had no idea that there would be a pandemic.
ReplyDeleteI am in the 11th minute of my 15 minutes :)
anonymity - The condition of being alone in a crowd.
ReplyDeleteanonymity: I thawt I saw a puddy cat, I did. Look I'm following some good ones above - I've got nothing.
ReplyDeleteHappy Blogaversary if it is.
For a moment I thought that was an OC title on your post, then I realized it was too short.
ReplyDeleteHappy Blogoversery! And many more.
-Anonymous
Happy Blogoversary, Doug! (if that's who you really are) loveloveLOVED these fables!
ReplyDeleteoh, and i think a gathering of Blog buddies is a fabulous idea. of course, considering the fact that there are currently something, like, 60 million blogs, i'm guessing many of us have gathered before and just didn't know it, thanks to our various levels of Anonymity.
anonymity: something one wishes for less of and more of, sometimes in the same hour
ReplyDeleteTwo years? that means we "met" 25 months ago when you came out of anonymity to rescue me, oh knight in shining dawg suit
Anonimity: I wear it well.
ReplyDeleteHappy Blogiversary to the satirical wizard and curmudgeon man behind the curtain, running my beloved intellectual playground.
happy blogiversary Doug.
ReplyDeletepia nailed it I think: anonymity = "knight in shining dawg suit"
Wow, it seems everyone is in or around their second anniversary. It from here on that the boys are separated from the men.
ReplyDeleteHappy Blogaversary and Chicago?????????????????????? Holy Crap the reason I did not go to school there was because it was so damn cooooold.
I'm in.
You mean to say you've only been here two years...
ReplyDelete...seems like a lifetime. :+)
Congrats on your second coming!
TLP, I don't think you could be anonymous at the bottom of the ocean.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amoeba. That's alleged malefactor to you, pal.
Mo'a, I once read a comment on a blog that said in the new media, everyone will be famous to 15 people. I hope that's right because, otherwise, time's up, Lady.
Poobah, I'm hoping to be anonymous at my funeral. As long as I don't get implants, there's a shot.
Thanks, g. It is.
Quilly, that has to be you. Too funny.
Puppybrose, that's probably true. I hope I left your windshield tolerably clean.
Pia, that sounds like you're describing someone I know under a pseudonym.
Sar, you wear it well, but don't spell it so good. Cheers and the swing's free.
Kyahgirl, I blog under the same name I use on my taxes. Thank you.
Cooper, we were talking about where everyone we know on blogs lives and Chicago and Saint Louis seemed to be minimally inconvenient. Iowa City is good, too.
Thanks, Karen. Once a year whether I need it or not.
Happy Anniversary, Doug! If we're getting together a year from now, let's make it someplace warm, huh? Marmot stories are great, by the way -- and especially of the reverent ones. Nice work today.
ReplyDeleteAnonymity: God's gift to everyone at birth that, like virginity, once lost is gone forever.
Oh, yeah -- Roadkill roadkill, as today becomes tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteanonymity: not the fate of Doug's dog
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteDoug, I was merely using the vogue spelling of today's word. I should also add that I can spell it perfectly fine.
ReplyDeleteit
See? Now I challenge you to define it.
a4g, it flows slower but leaks less often without kids.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Al. God point, between us we've covered the North American species of marmot this month. Good for us.
No, Mule, let the names Willie and Walela ring from the rafters and toll across the meadows.
Sar, it depends on what the definition of "it" is.
I am happy that you've been honing your blogging skills for an entire two years... carry on.
ReplyDeleteThat rogue crow - praying to Hades!
Anonymity is when I prefer to remain nameless
Anonymity: The mighty astute mother of anonymous, who upon hearing her son's astringent observations, decided the family should not advertise their names and addresses.
ReplyDeleteHmmm.....I have to think about the first one, love the second one and ulalalalala ... big announcement!
ReplyDeleteSo are you gonna go, I mean there´ll be people there and stuff. Huge social event, lots of small talk
*looks at a Doug-shaped hole in the door*
I very much enjoyed your Morals. Not sure what a beow is though and what that means to the creekbank.
ReplyDeleteI use my not-so-subtle anonymity to point that out.
A birthday party for me next year? Sweet!
Two years, and you & Bierce are still funny and interesting. Who'd a thunk it?
ReplyDeleteBRAVO!! Hooray!!
Happy Blog Birthday and Happy Blogaversary!!
Moral #2: Pray with your eyes open.
Terry, your secret's safe with me.
ReplyDeleteThat was an astute mother, TLP.
Minka, I'll be ok as long as I'm serving the food. Funny image, though. I can picture it too. "Hey! Kool-Aid!"
Jenna, thank you for the editorial assistance. You can pick the cake.
JD, that's cheating! Thanks, friend.
The really great men poop marble
ReplyDeleteThats ok Doug you dont have to make me ananonymoust i was aktully the littel boy in the first storie!
ReplyDeleteCan I come incognito?
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary! I'm going out and buy a greeting card.
ReplyDelete*gets up, walks to greeting card store, buys card*
OK, I got a card - I'm going to read it now. Ahem.
*reads card*
"With noble words, so sly not gross
You went about to wake Ambrose
You did this now for two whole years
So sly so smart so bitter Bearce"
Hahaha! He mispelled Bierce!
ReplyDeleteI have a spell-checker built into my brain.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary Mr. Pascover!
May you never be reformatted!
Anonymous, do they eat philosophy?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Actonbell. Anonymity becomes you.
Boy, I didn't want to name you without your consent.
Mistress, we should have Groucho Marx masks at the door. I think your eyes will give you away.
Thanks, Indy, for the card and all.
Boy, you'll understand some day.
Thanks, Elbot. And to you.
And the sparkling poetry, Doug! Next year we can change the two to three and use it again!
ReplyDeleteA belated happy anniversary, Doug.
ReplyDeleteIndie, that's just practical.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Weirsdo.