Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Honest
HONEST, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in his dealing.
2007 Update:: Having lies on the lips, kool-aid on the tongue, rhetoric in mind and a frog in the throat. Clearly marked as fiction.
honest - A word frequently uttered along with the phrase, "cross my heart and hope to die", suggesting that a higher power must not exist or the land would be littered with corpses.
I once had a man tell me my husband was unique in the business world (he runs his own small business) because he was honest. It made me proud, I tells ya! No Kool-Aid on his tongue.
I've visited four comnputer stores looking for an honest sales clerk. Apparently computer stores are not the place one should look for such. And I thought "bait and switch" was illegal. Three out of four stores "accidently" did not have their advertized product in stock. Two of the three stores tried to sell me "comparable models" at "the same price", but after they finished with the required ad-ons and taxes, the "sam price" was twice as much as the original. Two sales people spent a lot of energy trying to sell me, only to find out I was willing to walk oout without ever opening my purse.
Sorry. Should have posted this on my own blog! But you started it! Honesty! Pft!
“Politicians are a set of men who have interests aside from the interests of the people and who, to say the most of them, are, taken as a mass, at least one long step removed from honest men” - Abraham Lincoln
Honesty: A quality that is checked at the door as soon as someone is voted into political office.
1st...honest.
ReplyDeleteJoel....gr%&/%&$$#!
ReplyDeleteI really mean it this time!
Honestly Minka...heeheehee
ReplyDeleteHa, ha, haaaaa! And that's unbridled mirth in as honest a manner as I can muster!
ReplyDeletehonest - A word frequently uttered along with the phrase, "cross my heart and hope to die", suggesting that a higher power must not exist or the land would be littered with corpses.
ReplyDeleteHonest: a true blue gal in a red state who says what she means and means what she says.
ReplyDeleteMany are honest simply because they fear God or jail. Or, they never had a good chance to be dishonest.
ReplyDeleteHonest: not deceptive or fraudulent even when no one is looking.
Honest as the day is long: Cheats at night.
I once had a man tell me my husband was unique in the business world (he runs his own small business) because he was honest. It made me proud, I tells ya! No Kool-Aid on his tongue.
ReplyDeleteHonest: A butcher's scale without the butcher's thumb on it.
ReplyDeleteJoel, honest as the day is long. What business you in, again?
ReplyDeleteMinka, Honest, adj. Indignant.
Miz B, I believe every syllable of it.
Poobah, you're right. Only the atheists survive.
Sar, where do you find them?
TLP, and wears the ring to the date.
Well, Mutha, he probably doesn't smoke cigars either.
Al, or a thumbless butcher. I'm having a Mad Magazine flashback right now.
beign honest is very dangerous. I do not recommend it to beginners.
ReplyDeleteGuyanese kool-aid? Lethal Jonesesque kool-aid? Similar to not believing every theo-logic they try to slam down your throat. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHonest: Not blogging at work.
ReplyDeleteHe LOVES a good cigar! I'm telling you: the broke the mold.
ReplyDeleteThat would be THEY broke the mold. Honest.
ReplyDeleteMan alive, that is one jaded definition update... back to the curmudgeon cave with you.
ReplyDelete"Every man is wholly honest to himself and to God, but not to any one else."
- More Maxims of Mark, Johnson, 1927 Mark Twain
Goldennib - Very very good.
I'm not at WORK, honest. I mean I'm at my desk technically but I'm...on a rejuvenation break!
ReplyDeleteHonest.
I agree, Ariel. You should start with repeating what you hear on tv and work your way up slowly.
ReplyDeleteAs in "drink the kool-aid", Mireille. Yes the almond-flavored.
Goldennib, what if you're the boss?
Mutha, and they left the spelling to you.
Terry, you should have seen the version I changed from.
G, I forgive you. Honest.
Honest, adj. A mental handicap, usually accompanied by a sociopathic disinterest in the feelings of others.
ReplyDeleteHonesty: truth, tripping up and/or off one's tongue.
ReplyDeleteThere's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. ~Groucho Marx
all this talk of "honesty" and not a single sighting of Diogenes? imagine that. ; )
There is no truth in you! None of you! But mostly Puppybrose!
ReplyDeleteA person is honest when their liar is broken.
ReplyDeleteFrench swine are not honest!
Diogenes, that was beautiful. *wipes away a tear*
ReplyDelete“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library?" ~ Lily Tomlin (who also said ~ "...and THAT'S the truth. thbbbbt.") ; p
C&N, it's certainly not an indicator of good health, true.
ReplyDeleteNeva, that's a good quality groucho quote right there.
What's the matter, Diogenes? Neva wake you up in the daytime?
Jamie Dawn, and when they pluck their own swings. I agree, what combination could be worse than a truffle-sniffing French hog?
That's funny, too, Neva.
Mary?
ReplyDeletemais oui.
ReplyDeletehonest pft
ReplyDeleteI've visited four comnputer stores looking for an honest sales clerk. Apparently computer stores are not the place one should look for such. And I thought "bait and switch" was illegal. Three out of four stores "accidently" did not have their advertized product in stock. Two of the three stores tried to sell me "comparable models" at "the same price", but after they finished with the required ad-ons and taxes, the "sam price" was twice as much as the original. Two sales people spent a lot of energy trying to sell me, only to find out I was willing to walk oout without ever opening my purse.
Sorry. Should have posted this on my own blog! But you started it! Honesty! Pft!
Goldennib is right! Especially the boss. The boss should set a good, honest example.
ReplyDeleteHonest = dog
ReplyDelete*woof*
Someone taught me it pays to be honest.
ReplyDeleteThey lied.
zucchini
Do you think all we want is something to eat?
ReplyDelete“Politicians are a set of men who have interests aside from the interests of the people and who, to say the most of them, are, taken as a mass, at least one long step removed from honest men” - Abraham Lincoln
ReplyDeleteHonesty: A quality that is checked at the door as soon as someone is voted into political office.
Diogenes and Mary, this is a wholesome blog. Nous ne parlons pas francais! Merci!
ReplyDeleteActonbell, by bluntness you mean cruelty? I hope so. I prefer it to hugs.
Quilly, bait and switch is only illegal for fish.
TLP, if my staff want to see how a cigar should be enjoyed while they fan me, I'm happy to set an example.
Kyah, Amen and woof! Tell'em, sister!
Cooper, Honesty, n. Zucchini.
No, Icy, I know you're a complex dog who appreciates a fan as well as fine writing.
Theresa, in economics that's called "The Principle-Agent Problem." Like Lincoln needed any more drying out, huh?