Egotist

EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

Megaceph, chosen to serve the State
In the halls of legislative debate,
One day with all his credentials came
To the capitol's door and announced his name.
The doorkeeper looked, with a comical twist
Of the face, at the eminent egotist,
And said: "Go away, for we settle here
All manner of questions, knotty and queer,
And we cannot have, when the speaker demands
To be told how every member stands,
A man who to all things under the sky
Assents by eternally voting 'I'."

2007 Update:  A slow-footed servant.

7:15 A.M. Update:  A butterfly seeking a book deal.

Gather 'round children and listen to me

For I offer a warning against vanity

In my house on the hilltop, a tall mirror stands

For my image alone to be shown to my fans.

I hired a butler to be trained by the maid

For my comfort, not his, he was to be paid.

But I caught him at my mirror, adjusting his tie.

When pride fills your wings, better know how to fly.

Humbly, I hung this egotist from the rafter

And I tell you this story for caution and laughter.

-from My Diary