Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Bed
BED, n. A rack for the torture of the wicked; a citadel unfortified against remorse.
2007 Update: The ferry that carries passion to the mill.
they say bed is a place one should never go to when angry -- of course, my honey and i so rarely fight, this has yet to be an issue. (and yay for that) ; )
Doug, you got the time correct. OC functions on about 4.5 hours of sleep per night. I do not, therefore if I stay up half the night with him, and get up in the mornings to fix his breakfast and pack his lunch (and I do) then I require a nap sometime during the day. Today I never actually made it back to bed and won't until about midnight.
Morning comes early in a stranger's bed, it's never quite as easy when you're straight I'd like to have a dime for all the promises that stoney lovers make when it gets late ...
My favorite place for horizontal living... whether it be in a sleeping bag near the campfire, or an Icelandic featherbed... even the one upstairs isn't bad.
Something you lie in whether you made it or not.
ReplyDelete...and then tosses its rumpled masses to the floor in the morning.
ReplyDeleteMorning all. That Hobbes sure is wise.
Bed: Where NYPD Blues find most of their Clues.
ReplyDeleteWhere every night I sigh and say "I love my Bed"... no torture.
ReplyDeleteA place for flowers.
ReplyDeleteif only that damn pea stopped hurting
ReplyDeletevbmrry: violent beds are merry
'morning, Princess!
ReplyDeleteBed, where things happen.
Doug, I love your definition.
Bed: According to the first dfn. a bed is a bad bag to rest your back on.
ReplyDelete2007 Bed: Is that perhaps a fairy who carries the passion? I understand the mill.
Question: What would happen if we still used bundling? That sure does dampen passion, would the board surcomb to the ferry/fairy?
..
la cama
ReplyDeleteA multi-functional piece of furniture.
Uperbsay Efinitionday, Ougday.
Speaking Pig Latin is easier than writing it.
BED? Wonderful suggestion. Good night.
ReplyDeleteBed: (oftentimes) where sex marks the spot?
ReplyDeletethey say bed is a place one should never go to when angry -- of course, my honey and i so rarely fight, this has yet to be an issue. (and yay for that) ; )
Laughing over your definition. And Puppy's too.
ReplyDeleteBed...the best part of my bedroom. Ahh. Bliss.
ha! yes,
ReplyDeletewhat Ruby Slippers Lips said
(in paragraph one...)
very clever, mr update.
A loaf of bed, a jug of wine, and thou ...
ReplyDeleteWhat?!
Oh. ... heh heh... Ooops...
;)
And wake up on the wrong side of, Hobbes.
ReplyDeleteG, it's a trait of teddy bears.
Al, not at the donut shop?
Mo'a, I forgot about resting.
Nice, TLP. Clever.
Karma, did you try adding a sheet?
Thanks, Ariel. Must have slept right.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, Jim.
Uymay Ienbay, Aimejay!
Quill, am I wrong or was that around 6am? You mean in all that fauna there are no roosters?
Very good news, Neva.
Jenn, it's a fine place for sleeping isn't it?
Thanks, JJ.
Loaves of bread belong in the kitchen or the river, in my opinion, Amoeba.
Doug, you got the time correct. OC functions on about 4.5 hours of sleep per night. I do not, therefore if I stay up half the night with him, and get up in the mornings to fix his breakfast and pack his lunch (and I do) then I require a nap sometime during the day. Today I never actually made it back to bed and won't until about midnight.
ReplyDeleteBED n. final resting place
I used to love this quote:
ReplyDeleteMorning comes early
in a stranger's bed,
it's never quite as easy when you're straight
I'd like to have a dime for all the promises
that stoney lovers make when it gets late ...
cynical enough for ya, D? xoxo
My favorite place for horizontal living... whether it be in a sleeping bag near the campfire, or an Icelandic featherbed... even the one upstairs isn't bad.
ReplyDelete*looks at clock*
ReplyDeleteright you are!
bed, n. the playing field of coyness, quickly uttered promises and bed bugs.
Quilly, I thought I was the only one who doesn't sleep. Have you tried drugging him?
ReplyDeleteJust about right, Mireille.
Terry, I've slept on rocks that were just cozy. The secret is to be tired, isn't it?
On Actonbell! On Prancer!
Minka, that definition might just be the perfect blend of Biercean and penguin humor.
My bed is where ever I lay
ReplyDeleteNo, Doug, but I have offered to rock him to sleep with a real rock.
ReplyDeleteBed: (1) A place where wounds heal, souls mingle in passion and dreams carry us away. (2) An old friend I don't visit often enough.
ReplyDeletePillow: The best part of a good thing.
*bows*
ReplyDeleteso how about you get out of yours and get a post up! It's not like there's anybody to be coy with :)
Icy, that's kind of poetic. Good girl!
ReplyDeleteHaha, Quilly. Remember, Gabriel's a horn-player too.
Morgan, old friends forgive neglect.
Minka, on the contrary, I was avoiding eye contact with all seven muses.
Good update.
ReplyDeleteI liked your update so I will not think on this one.
ReplyDeleteIf AL is right I might have to try to catch some NYPD Blues.
Thanks, Nessa.
ReplyDeleteCooper, you'll find clues in cookie wrappers.