Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Reality
REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.
2007 Update: The coy mistress of poetry, red in fang and claw.
Reality: The Buzz Kill, The Thrill of being in the present, the Fact (that what goes up, must come down, also waking up to several feet of frozen solid snow (see Massachusetts).
Reality: the check that's been mailed, the call that promised to come, and/or all those "unscripted" television shows. [see also: the soft-focusing benefits of aging eyes peering into a mirror v. photography]
Reality: I'm not too friendly with Reality. I often have to 'face her' and generally it is not a pleasant experience.
Reality: I don't like her (Reality's) TV shows either, except for the Amazing Race. That one is like an exciting travel show for me. We have been to a lot of those places that they go. ..
The reality is that you Doug, are becoming more obscure in your updates than ever. I have to use the ole birdbrain harder than I used to in order to ponder an answer. And Puppy - yes, Reality Bites when examining the lightning-fast passing of the weekend.
Reality for men: love handles, hair loss where you want hair and hair gain where you don't want hair, inability to do one-armed push ups.
Reality for women: no makeup and no hair color means yer bordering on butt ugly, AND there's always menopause to look forward to unless you've already been menopaused.
Blogstock '08 will be held in July at Cliff Morrow's farm in Nebraska. I plan to attend, and I will be bringing tye-dyed clothing for all attendees. I also asked to be on one of their July 4th floats, so I could wave backwards like the Queen of England does. My parents plan to come also which means there will be plently of nuts to go around. All blog buddies are invited. I plan to be there for the July 4th town festivities and then for the shindig at the Morrow's farm on the 5th. My mom's b-day is on the 6th, so we'll probably take her to McDonald's and Dairy Queen. Here's a link for info about it: Blogstock '08
REALITY, n. That which is. As distinguised from TRUTH, which is anything repeated often enough, Dr. Goebbels. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Cheney. Was that you? I thought you were in Brussels trying to convince NATO that the (inevitable from the first) loss of Afghanistan is their fault, and not We the People's.
Neva, I believe you're first and no one's gonna tell me different.
Mutha, "The buzz kill" is the truest, most concise definition anyone will come up with today, I think. Wish I'd been the one to think of it. Kind of bums me out that I might not have.
Not at all, Indie. I read about it in the newspaper.
Minka, what is it with visitors and misconstructions?
Not mine, Poobah.
Karma, if you're coy, I'm a carp.
Mo'a, if you say so.
Neva, it's a good thing our eyes age first, isn't it?
Weirsdo, or phrenology for the blind.
Ariel, that's poetic. I'm trying to guess if that's unusually sunny for you or dark.
Keep your distance, I always say, Jim.
Terry, I thought I was getting closer and closer to chirping.
Dang it!! (That's Jamie Dawn speaking, not Rev. JD.) REALITY hit hard and ruined a thus far nearly perfect day. I had eaten two Schwartz candies (one mint & one vanilla), and all was right with the world. THEN, my son barely made it home due to car trouble. I just returned from the car fixer place, and we need a new radiator. Dag Nabbit!! Reality sucks sometimes, but chocolate makes it bearable. May today's REALITY be kind to you.
Reality: that which is whether we want to believe it, or not.
ReplyDeleteFIRST!
is the weekend over? wow. where was i? ;)
Reality: The Buzz Kill, The Thrill of being in the present, the Fact (that what goes up, must come down, also waking up to several feet of frozen solid snow (see Massachusetts).
ReplyDeleteReality?? I think you're making it up.
ReplyDeletereality,n. a visitor usually unannounced jumping out from behind the curtain of misconstruction
ReplyDeletereality: An opinion
ReplyDeletecoy am i
ReplyDeleteas i come out of a fawg
now its about time
you got real, dawg
eyhxu: eyeing a sexy hunk
Reality...and Truth...a mind trick...I Realy believe that and that's the Truth.
ReplyDeleteReality: the check that's been mailed, the call that promised to come, and/or all those "unscripted" television shows. [see also: the soft-focusing benefits of aging eyes peering into a mirror v. photography]
ReplyDeletePhenomenology for positivists.
ReplyDeleteReality, the only heaven.
ReplyDeleteReality: I'm not too friendly with Reality. I often have to 'face her' and generally it is not a pleasant experience.
ReplyDeleteReality: I don't like her (Reality's) TV shows either, except for the Amazing Race. That one is like an exciting travel show for me. We have been to a lot of those places that they go.
..
The reality is that you Doug, are becoming more obscure in your updates than ever. I have to use the ole birdbrain harder than I used to in order to ponder an answer. And Puppy - yes, Reality Bites when examining the lightning-fast passing of the weekend.
ReplyDeleteReality for men: love handles, hair loss where you want hair and hair gain where you don't want hair, inability to do one-armed push ups.
ReplyDeleteReality for women: no makeup and no hair color means yer bordering on butt ugly, AND there's always menopause to look forward to unless you've already been menopaused.
Blogstock '08 will be held in July at Cliff Morrow's farm in Nebraska. I plan to attend, and I will be bringing tye-dyed clothing for all attendees. I also asked to be on one of their July 4th floats, so I could wave backwards like the Queen of England does. My parents plan to come also which means there will be plently of nuts to go around. All blog buddies are invited. I plan to be there for the July 4th town festivities and then for the shindig at the Morrow's farm on the 5th. My mom's b-day is on the 6th, so we'll probably take her to McDonald's and Dairy Queen.
Here's a link for info about it:
Blogstock '08
REALITY, n. That which is. As distinguised from TRUTH, which is anything repeated often enough, Dr. Goebbels. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Cheney. Was that you? I thought you were in Brussels trying to convince NATO that the (inevitable from the first) loss of Afghanistan is their fault, and not We the People's.
ReplyDeletedinner.
ReplyDeleteIcy, she's the latest and the greatest of them all.
ReplyDeleteNeva, I believe you're first and no one's gonna tell me different.
ReplyDeleteMutha, "The buzz kill" is the truest, most concise definition anyone will come up with today, I think. Wish I'd been the one to think of it. Kind of bums me out that I might not have.
Not at all, Indie. I read about it in the newspaper.
Minka, what is it with visitors and misconstructions?
Not mine, Poobah.
Karma, if you're coy, I'm a carp.
Mo'a, if you say so.
Neva, it's a good thing our eyes age first, isn't it?
Weirsdo, or phrenology for the blind.
Ariel, that's poetic. I'm trying to guess if that's unusually sunny for you or dark.
Keep your distance, I always say, Jim.
Terry, I thought I was getting closer and closer to chirping.
JD, that sounds really cool.
So, Amoeba, REALITY, n. Europe?
Icy, if you can't eat it...
Ariel, who's Icy eating today?
Dang it!! (That's Jamie Dawn speaking, not Rev. JD.)
ReplyDeleteREALITY hit hard and ruined a thus far nearly perfect day.
I had eaten two Schwartz candies (one mint & one vanilla), and all was right with the world.
THEN, my son barely made it home due to car trouble.
I just returned from the car fixer place, and we need a new radiator.
Dag Nabbit!!
Reality sucks sometimes, but chocolate makes it bearable.
May today's REALITY be kind to you.
Now this is a post that Schrödinger's cat could scratch. Keep up the obscurity, philosophical one. What else is there? xoxo
ReplyDelete"Reality - what a concept."
ReplyDeleteReality -- pft. It's whatever I say it is, whether it is or not. Now, where was that looking glass?
ReplyDeleteKind of...yeah, it's been a long time.
ReplyDeleteReality is for people who can't handle drugs.
ReplyDeleteOr so we said back in the daze.