Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Dowry
DOWRY, n. The worm upon the matrimonial hook in man-fishing.
2008 Update: A bribe to embellish a marriage contract, recently less fashionable in deference to divorce.
Another version is the engagement ring, which is basically a deposit left on a woman. See also, I'll be back to collect you later. Maybe. Unless I stumble over something better.
oops... heh heh. guess that was a bit unkind. that said, is it just me, or does dowry seem like dowdy's better monied and/or more attractive cousin? ; )
just a little something extra to help a groom get by, just in case the poor dear can't get it by himself. in the old days, it could be a country, but they're all taken up now
It's not the dowry in their hands but the dowry in their minds that makes the difference. The deposit, the country and the water are all important, too, of course.
dowry,n. I am at ease with this problem, I have a rather beautiful stamp collection and several penguin articles. What king would not want me? PLUS two horses!
Here in AR, a woman with most her teeth and a sturdy set of wide hips for childbearing is well equipped for man-fishing. A woman like that is assured of man-catching without need of a DOWRY. A skinny, snake-hipped woman needs to toss in a couple of hogs and some whiskey to close the deal.
I have a sister who was once offered a dowry from an African student at Biola... actually he offered the dowry (or called it something similar) to my father in exchange for my sister's hand in marriage. It consisted of 2 cows. My sister was hysterical. (Dad said no thanks).
The Cheesemeister's one-time husband was distressed by the dowry presented to him by her parents. They told him he was a bum and would never amount to anything and should hit the road. This is the kind of dowry no man wants. I think it's called a "downer."
Dowry: The perfect reference to the movie The Quiet Man -- because, as Maureen reminds us, "A woman needs her t'ings about her." Otherwise she came out with S*IT to her name.
I could have sworn I made a comment that said, "Paying it forward. To be recovered in the settlement." But it must have been the muscle relaxants talking. That scares me. What else have I said or not said. *shudder* xoxo
Mireille - I'm suffering from the exact same thing... I not only KNOW I wrote a comment to the next post (above)this afternoon before I went walking, but I watched it post. Hmmmm... there is a comment stealer about... Sorry about the muscle relaxers. I have some old ones but they probably won't help now.
Dowry: An old technique to ensure marriage. Now made antiquated by the liberation of women, the invention of contraception, and the obsolescence of marriage itself.
I used to keep a dowry before I started my blog.
ReplyDeleteha ha Icy, you are so funny!! I didn't really notice your accent before but it really comes through on your pronunciation of diary!! :-)
ReplyDeleteI was enslaved by Dow for many years and to cope had to drink a lot of rye. I think you might have missed an e somewhere, its Dowrye.
Your update is perfect I think.
ReplyDeleteAnother version is the engagement ring, which is basically a deposit left on a woman. See also, I'll be back to collect you later. Maybe. Unless I stumble over something better.
Dowry: paper bag.
ReplyDeleteoops... heh heh. guess that was a bit unkind. that said, is it just me, or does dowry seem like dowdy's better monied and/or more attractive cousin? ; )
(great update, by the way)
It's good that you updated...the original meaning seems very old and chauvinistic.
ReplyDeleteDOWRY n. monies paid for maid services.
ReplyDeletejust a little something extra to help a groom get by, just in case the poor dear can't get it by himself. in the old days, it could be a country, but they're all taken up now
ReplyDeletehdpsirj: how do you like it, sir?
"Dear dowry, today I made a dollar. Don't ask questions."
ReplyDeleteKyah, slave's quarters have come a long way.
"A deposit left on a woman?" Blogmama, sometimes I think you're testing me.
Puppy, I think they presence of a dowry predicts the presence of a dowdy.
Mo'a, I try to be gallant.
Quilly, is that what you call it in Idaho?
Karma, I miss imperialism.
I agree, Actonbell. Of course, someday soon we might have to pay dowries to our employers. Won't that suck?
I'm sowry Doug. Maybe I need to be put on Meds. Can i some some please?
ReplyDeleteagreed. hence my contention that a dowry might act as a "paper bag" over Miss Ugly Fiancée's head. d'oh!
ReplyDeleteDowry: foreplay?
Why do I always agree with TLP? and the first letters of WV are TLP--though uncapped
ReplyDeleteGoing to use my other name and blog here
dowry: a wand to find find water. Wait, no. A wand to find adult intimacy.
ReplyDeleteIt's not the dowry in their hands but the dowry in their minds that makes the difference. The deposit, the country and the water are all important, too, of course.
ReplyDeletedowry,n. I am at ease with this problem, I have a rather beautiful stamp collection and several penguin articles. What king would not want me? PLUS two horses!
ReplyDeleteHere in AR, a woman with most her teeth and a sturdy set of wide hips for childbearing is well equipped for man-fishing. A woman like that is assured of man-catching without need of a DOWRY.
ReplyDeleteA skinny, snake-hipped woman needs to toss in a couple of hogs and some whiskey to close the deal.
I LOVE the term "man-fishing!!"
I have a sister who was once offered a dowry from an African student at Biola... actually he offered the dowry (or called it something similar) to my father in exchange for my sister's hand in marriage. It consisted of 2 cows. My sister was hysterical. (Dad said no thanks).
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmm. Liver with fava beans and a nice chianti. Lick-smack, lick-smack, lick-smack!
ReplyDeleteDowry: The act of moving in the general manner of a financial markets securities index, usually while intoxicated
ReplyDeleteThe Cheesemeister's one-time husband was distressed by the dowry presented to him by her parents. They told him he was a bum and would never amount to anything and should hit the road. This is the kind of dowry no man wants. I think it's called a "downer."
ReplyDeleteDowry: next to cooking, the way to a man's heart.
ReplyDeleteDowry: The perfect reference to the movie The Quiet Man -- because, as Maureen reminds us, "A woman needs her t'ings about her."
ReplyDeleteOtherwise she came out with S*IT to her name.
Nessa, I think you already some some.
ReplyDeleteAh, gosh, Neva. That was a great joke and went, well, over my head. Sincere apologies. You deserved a guffaw.
I see that, Tani. I'm just one cure for the common cold away from familiarizing myself with your new blog and humanity.
A dowsing rod and a drowsing rod, Mule?
Ariel, so many details. Cash on the barrelhead seems a real handy simplification.
Minka, Richard III sure would.
Jamie Dawn, I love your description of Arkansawyer man-fishing.
Terry, my African Studies minor gets so little use these days. It's called "Bridewealth" or "Brideprice."
Hahaha, Icy. And it isn't cannibalism if you're a dog.
OE, heavily mortgaged subprime dowries are the story of my life. Maybe I should move to Arkansas.
A "downry?" Cheesie? I take it your parents were right.
Indie, I hear there's a third.
Marquis of Queensbury rules, Mutha?
I could have sworn I made a comment that said, "Paying it forward. To be recovered in the settlement." But it must have been the muscle relaxants talking. That scares me. What else have I said or not said. *shudder* xoxo
ReplyDeleteMireille - I'm suffering from the exact same thing... I not only KNOW I wrote a comment to the next post (above)this afternoon before I went walking, but I watched it post. Hmmmm... there is a comment stealer about... Sorry about the muscle relaxers. I have some old ones but they probably won't help now.
ReplyDeleteDowry: An old technique to ensure marriage. Now made antiquated by the liberation of women, the invention of contraception, and the obsolescence of marriage itself.
ReplyDelete