Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Barometer
BAROMETER, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
2008 Update: A device for determining the weighed consensus of local air regarding its future activities. A mechanical focus group.
Hajmási Péter, Hajmási Pál A barométer esőre áll, Ne búsulj rózsám, mert az egy garast sem ér, Ne búsulj lesz még szőlő,lesz még lágy kenyér, Hajmási Péter, Hajmási Pál A barométer nem imponál, Húzatom agyba-főbe,beugrom a nagybőgőbe, Hajmási Péter-Pityke Pál!
1. A machine included in most meteorological measuring kits because, without it, they cannot handle pressure. In America, that pressure is measured in inches of mercury, proof positive that amateur weather watching is a toxic waste.
Barometer: A device in pubs into which a person blows. If the arrow points to green, that person can have another drink. If it points to red, he is refused further refreshment. That #$%%@$# bartender.
JJ, that's why we leave the mercury in the tube, young lady.
Quilly, why would you put coins in a hitching post?
Sauerkraut, I'm pretty sure even in Ireland that was never an Irish kid.
TLP, bartender is a job for an Irish kid.
Bear, come back when you feel better.
G, that's hilarious. Your birthday is a holiday in NYC?
Cooper, my money's on Hungarian accent. I still love that song. That's how I know I'm not a homophobe.
100% chance of storm, Terry?
Actonbell, I don't know that song but if you hum a few isobars I can probably pick it up. I did a lot bible study to see if I could buy a new copy and decided there was nothing in scripture to deny me, as so many others have.
Good one, Doug. Let me be the first to applaud.
ReplyDeletebarometer: an artificial machine used for measuring the public pulse that's usually hyperventilating (am I really first?) or less than reality
ReplyDeleteSome people consider a barometer just a weather measuring instrument. But weather is everything to me..
Hajmási Péter, Hajmási Pál
ReplyDeleteA barométer esőre áll,
Ne búsulj rózsám, mert az egy garast sem ér,
Ne búsulj lesz még szőlő,lesz még lágy kenyér,
Hajmási Péter, Hajmási Pál
A barométer nem imponál,
Húzatom agyba-főbe,beugrom a nagybőgőbe,
Hajmási Péter-Pityke Pál!
BAROMETER, n.
ReplyDelete1. A machine included in most meteorological measuring kits because, without it, they cannot handle pressure. In America, that pressure is measured in inches of mercury, proof positive that amateur weather watching is a toxic waste.
2. A machine for measuring selected celebrities, including certain humorists, soul singers, former mayors, etc.
Thank you, Weirsdo. Let me be the first to bow.
ReplyDeletePia, you missed your calling. Every farmer I know spends most of his day planning the weather.
Ariel, you speak English funny. Don't suppose you'd consider translating that poem into Hungarian.
A q-ometer, Amoeba?
i have my own
ReplyDeletebuilt in barometer
that allows me
to interpret things
in a fashion
that gets me
into a whole pile
of trouble...
Oh. I thought a barometer was that thing one parked the car at and fed quarters into outside his/her favorite watering hole.
ReplyDeletebar o'meter... he's the irish lad who carries the latern up the lighthouse staircase, non?
ReplyDeleteBarometer: A device in pubs into which a person blows. If the arrow points to green, that person can have another drink. If it points to red, he is refused further refreshment. That #$%%@$# bartender.
ReplyDeletethought i could be an importer of a definition as to the ways of psi,but i am out of wind --no rant and rave--no whining--Peace
ReplyDeleteBarometer: Oh bother, I've got nothing, but I'm off tomorrow and hence making my way around to say hi!
ReplyDeleteOkay, let me take a stab:
Barometer: A weather vein in drag.
G'night.
You got me.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdaHCLlBkWU
I was gonna say Ariel's poem was Greek to me though it looked like Croatian.
Ariel - In lieu of understanding, I'd say that was excellent :)
ReplyDeleteMy barometer's on the blink, as the hot flashes indicate.
Cooper, I'd be so impressed to hear a Hungarian light-opera song from the mouth of Diogenes... :-) It does have the word barometer in it, though.
ReplyDeleteJJ, that's why we leave the mercury in the tube, young lady.
ReplyDeleteQuilly, why would you put coins in a hitching post?
Sauerkraut, I'm pretty sure even in Ireland that was never an Irish kid.
TLP, bartender is a job for an Irish kid.
Bear, come back when you feel better.
G, that's hilarious. Your birthday is a holiday in NYC?
Cooper, my money's on Hungarian accent. I still love that song. That's how I know I'm not a homophobe.
100% chance of storm, Terry?
Actonbell, I don't know that song but if you hum a few isobars I can probably pick it up. I did a lot bible study to see if I could buy a new copy and decided there was nothing in scripture to deny me, as so many others have.