Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Detective
DETECTIVE, n. An official employed by the city and county to detect a crime when one has been committed.
2009 Update: A peace officer dedicated to the naming of culprits. A citizen.
If detective work had been done on Madoff his clients might not be out 65 billion dollars I am a detective as I find the source of items on my audit
Oh detectives solve crimes against people and name the culprits?
Politics? I used to care about politics? It doesn't take a detective to understand that too care about something so trifling as politics you need both physical time and mental energy
I suspect, but am not a good enough detective to know, that I will have some time in ten days
I'm going for longest comment on WA as I have been too pithy, to most peoples relief, in recent years
Are you implying that it's defective to detect crimes? I mean, even if you have to pass a new law in order to detect who broke it? We all want job security these days.
(Note to Jenn: they all have attitudes. But just try to find one with a conscience.)
detective is too loaded these days.
ReplyDeleteIf detective work had been done on Madoff his clients might not be out 65 billion dollars
I am a detective as I find the source of items on my audit
Oh detectives solve crimes against people and name the culprits?
Politics? I used to care about politics? It doesn't take a detective to understand that too care about something so trifling as politics you need both physical time and mental energy
I suspect, but am not a good enough detective to know, that I will have some time in ten days
I'm going for longest comment on WA as I have been too pithy, to most peoples relief, in recent years
A detective is a dick. I always giggle when I watch the old Film Noirs and the narrator guy says (essentially) "He was a dick with an attitude."
ReplyDeleteHeeheeheehee.
Are you implying that it's defective to detect crimes? I mean, even if you have to pass a new law in order to detect who broke it? We all want job security these days.
ReplyDelete(Note to Jenn: they all have attitudes. But just try to find one with a conscience.)
"I shot the sherijf but I didn't shoot no deputy" (Bob MArley, on the album Burnin' (1973)).
ReplyDelete..
"Elementary my dear Ambrose"
ReplyDeleteIt's those boys with the Baker Street address.
Just what Jenn said. I am told there are decetives in real life too but where are they to Philip Marlowe?
ReplyDeleteprivate eyes,
ReplyDeletethey're watching you,
watching your every move
Pinkerton--saved a president
ReplyDeletecrushed a union
Peace
A citizen is right, Doug. Trust no one, investigate everyone, or lose everything.
ReplyDeleteFearless Fosdick, anyone? Though Jenn would probably prefer The Bank Dick.
ReplyDeletePia, Pith needs a day off the same as everyone else.
ReplyDeleteJenn, I'm sure I don't understand.
TLP, a worthy challenge.
Jim, I thought that was a kindergarten song.
221 B, Terry?
Ariel, inside his desk, behind the whiskey?
Sauerkraut, Hall Oates earworms are punishable by death, castration being accomplished already.
Well, bless their hearts, Bear. Just what we need.
Nessa, is that a new watch?
Apparently, Actonbell.
Amoeba, that's kind of neat. I hadn't heard of Fearless.
Link between criminals and the reality shows they spawn.
ReplyDelete