Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Geneology
GENEOLOGY, n. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Isn't that when you get one of those trees with blank boxes on them and you do your best to fill in the blanks? Just so you know, my mom's mom's name was Reba Theal and my mom's dad's name was Ollie Earl. Ollie's momma was a full blooded Native American. On my dad's side, Aunt Mabel's daughter is big into finding our family roots. She's tracked us way back and she's convinced... as she put it, "We're Mayflower." When Taylor was thinking of a band name, I suggested We're Mayflower, and he had a great chuckle over that. Okay, that's all the rambling I care to do for now. Have a happy day, and thank your ancestors for procreating. :-)
GENEOLOGY: Well, what do you expect? They sit in those lamps and bottles, sometimes for thousands of years at a time. It's cramped in there, man! Then they have to pop out and do the bidding of weird people who usually speak languages that they have to translate on the fly - when they get around to picking their jaws up off the floor and speaking. You want bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? Try Hollywood. A spirit's gotta take a few minutes to stretch and rub out the kinks. And an eye-opener would really be welcome. This bottle's dry.
Gen-eo-lo-gy, I'm more impressed with your ryhme sake (cousin?), Bab-e-o-lo-gy, which is the study of beautiful girl's t-shirts. I could say about Babe-o-lo-gy ... And Google can find about 7,780 for "e-o-lo-gy" cousins including the above two. ..
geneology,n. Iceland in a nutshell; a true academic in this part where everyone has a master's degree purely by association from the second branch to the left
the teller of truth about the horse thief in the family or sea captain from black sheep to bababa sheep had a cuz who stuffed cow hides in the crotch of a hollow oak tree he passed- the oak blew over and as the sheriff accused was true PEACE
Yours, too, JD. Glad to have you around which almost proves you aren't Mayflower people.
Amoeba, I rubbed a lot of bottle looking for Barbara Eden as a child.
Jim, someone should take a taxonomy of eologies sometime.
Minka, that was quite a roll. Continue if you like.
Karen, blogging was around several years before I knew about. Now that I know about Twitter, it'll likely be several years before I consider it. But did Felix Salmon really tweet that? I'm glad you shared. Well worth a chuckle.
Pop, nobody looks past the town dump.
George, you're channeling JJ which I appreciate. Safe travels and go∂ daginn, to you and Terry.
Cooper, as you can see from my father's comment, I come from a long of geneology avoiders.
We all go back to the same source.
ReplyDeleteIs that right TLP are you a Viking also ;? LOL
ReplyDeleteIsn't that when you get one of those trees with blank boxes on them and you do your best to fill in the blanks? Just so you know, my mom's mom's name was Reba Theal and my mom's dad's name was Ollie Earl. Ollie's momma was a full blooded Native American. On my dad's side, Aunt Mabel's daughter is big into finding our family roots. She's tracked us way back and she's convinced... as she put it, "We're Mayflower." When Taylor was thinking of a band name, I suggested We're Mayflower, and he had a great chuckle over that.
ReplyDeleteOkay, that's all the rambling I care to do for now.
Have a happy day, and thank your ancestors for procreating.
:-)
GENEOLOGY: Well, what do you expect? They sit in those lamps and bottles, sometimes for thousands of years at a time. It's cramped in there, man! Then they have to pop out and do the bidding of weird people who usually speak languages that they have to translate on the fly - when they get around to picking their jaws up off the floor and speaking. You want bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? Try Hollywood. A spirit's gotta take a few minutes to stretch and rub out the kinks. And an eye-opener would really be welcome. This bottle's dry.
ReplyDeleteGen-eo-lo-gy, I'm more impressed with your ryhme sake (cousin?), Bab-e-o-lo-gy, which is the study of beautiful girl's t-shirts.
ReplyDeleteI could say about Babe-o-lo-gy ...
And Google can find about 7,780 for "e-o-lo-gy" cousins including the above two.
..
geneology,n. Iceland in a nutshell; a true academic in this part where everyone has a master's degree purely by association from the second branch to the left
ReplyDeletegeneology,n. keeping track of men at flight risk
geneology,n. allimony's "in between the lines"
ReplyDeletethis could go on for a while....
geneology, n. a sailor's alibi for the weekends from age 14
ReplyDeleteDid anybody know about five hours ago I read this tweet:
ReplyDelete"felixsalmon OMG Free Exchange has moved to full RSS! Yay! Why didn't anybody tell me."
About two hours ago:
"Randazzoj Just met @mrdavehill at #whiskeyfriday. Absolutely stunning"
That's what I really like about Twitter - people spout off all day long - in 140 characters or less.
It's really a lot of fun.
Doug's dad sez: Don't ask
ReplyDeletethe teller of truth
ReplyDeleteabout the horse thief
in the family
or sea captain
from black sheep
to bababa sheep
had a cuz
who stuffed cow hides
in the crotch of a
hollow
oak tree
he passed-
the oak blew over
and as
the sheriff accused
was true
PEACE
Coming from a long line of melancholic, pessimistic, Murphy's Oil Soap lovers and twitter despisers, I'd have to say your spot on Doug.
ReplyDeleteYou mean God, TLP?
ReplyDeleteNo, Mo'a, you vikings had a different parentage.
Yours, too, JD. Glad to have you around which almost proves you aren't Mayflower people.
Amoeba, I rubbed a lot of bottle looking for Barbara Eden as a child.
Jim, someone should take a taxonomy of eologies sometime.
Minka, that was quite a roll. Continue if you like.
Karen, blogging was around several years before I knew about. Now that I know about Twitter, it'll likely be several years before I consider it. But did Felix Salmon really tweet that? I'm glad you shared. Well worth a chuckle.
Pop, nobody looks past the town dump.
George, you're channeling JJ which I appreciate. Safe travels and go∂ daginn, to you and Terry.
Cooper, as you can see from my father's comment, I come from a long of geneology avoiders.
She says, I am the one, but the kid is not my son!
ReplyDeleteAmbrose,
ReplyDeleteDon't even try to get the hang of Twitter.
It took me about eight weeks - you'll stay informed.
Copy 'n Paste is easy. So is Photoshop, although I don't have the latest version.
Anything else?
Rest in peace, Michael, J!
ReplyDeleteKaren, not to worry. Commenters bring me the news like Salome did for Herod.
And you pay in heads?
ReplyDeleteTeeth
ReplyDeleteNo, I do NOT mean god. I mean primordial crap.
ReplyDeleteProvidential crap?
ReplyDeleteGolden teeth?
ReplyDeleteAriel, don't take heads or teeth. Demand chocolate.
ReplyDeleteI give golden teeth for your chocolate!
ReplyDeleteTLP, there's some portable advice.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a virtuous cycle to me, Ariel.
I wonder what Ecgfrith would think if he could see us now. . . .
ReplyDelete