Thursday, November 02, 2006

Genius

GENIUS, n. That particular disposition of the faculties intellectual which enables one to write poetry like Hector Stuart and prose like Loring Pickering; to draw like Carl Browne and paint like Mr. Swan; to model like the immortal designer of the Cogswell statue or the Lotta fountain; to speak like the great O'Donnell. In a general sense, any degree of mental superiority that enables its possessor to live acceptably upon his admirers, and without blame be unbrokenly drunk.

2006 Update: An individual of exceptional wit, as judged by a jury of peers.

59 comments:

Al said...

Genius: What we call somebody who just locked their keys in their running car.

Al said...

(Or, what my wife once muttered through clenched teeth when I locked my keys in our running car.)

FelineFrisky said...

Genius: Moments of brilliance, as when the obvious is realised. D :)

Sar said...

Those who do not associate Genius with Real will rue the day because it's a moral imperative!

mireille said...

Residing in a bottle. Oh. That's genie. xoxo

Solace Cai said...

Genius: those who are only understood after they are dead. For example, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Einstein.

Ok, so maybe I shouldn't ever put those 3 names in the same sentence ever again...

The Boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. said...

Genyus: somone brave enuogh to write even if he mispells.

QuillDancer said...

Genius someone whose successes shine so bright they obliterate their failures.

or -- according to my dictionary:

"Genuis: the collection of bloggers who regularly imbibe the spirits at Waking Ambrose."

Old Mule said...

Genius: A brute of mind. Nabokovian of fate.

puppybrose said...

Genius: a drop of inspiration added to a sea of sweat. [since that was rip-off of an Edison quote, see also: "one with a light bulb permanently hovering over his head"]

karma said...

thank you, Douglas, sweet of you

aweznku: everywunz in awe of Karma y'kno

Al said...

Is that an update to Bierce's definition, Doug, or the shameless byline from your upcoming autobiography?

(whatever, its good, and a good word. Damn shame I have absolutely no use for it where I work. :-)

Joel said...

Genius: A label often applied after a lifetime of many trials and much error; see also "overnight sensation;" and TIVO.

G said...

I often think of Jon Lovitz (bear with me now) in the old SNL skit, Master Thespian -"Acting!" "Brilliant!" "GENIUS!".

Why Puppybrose I'm blushing under this lamp. I see you didn't want to embarass me so in your quote you wrote "his" rather than her. Thank you.

I'll be back with a definition I swear.

G said...

My original was:

Genius: The branch of my family tree that kept getting cut back each year.

puppybrose said...

G: you're exactly right, NBFF! i know how hot it gets under that shade when you blush.

Genius: the ability to create a simple equation for measuring the "speed of light" and/or a video of "Girls Gone Wild" as a means to get rich quick.

al said...

G, Quill, Puppy, Feline, Sar, everybody -- Doug's inspired some serious comic genius today.

"Girls Gone Wild" and "Speed of Light" in the same sentence... Jeez... Hmmm, let's see, as you accelerate toward it, the girls get slower, flatter, and heavier... ewwww...

G said...

Al, don't forget the boy from S.A.C.A.D.A. just becuz he spells bad. Maybe he should end up in Iraq, huh?!

Doug said...

Al, that's a stupid thing I still haven't done. Life is so short once you start making lists.

Absolutely, Diane.

Sar, um, I don't get it? I must be corrupt again...Oh, for pity's sake, please don't tell me you're talking about that Val Kilmer movie from the 80s. You are aren't you?

No, Mireille, that's genius.

Probably not, Solace. Smells relatively like the end.

Boy, that one belongs on a poster.

Cheers, Quilly! God bless us, every one!

Mule, you're naked right now, aren't you?

Then what's an electrician, Puppy?

Well, Karma, since your birthday is still four months away I decided to break the year into thirds.

Thanks, Al. You can actually use the word to describe an ambidextrous mouse, too if that helps.

Joel, speaking of genius I think I shared once before that when my brother got Tivo I asked him how he liked it and he solemnly held up three fingers on his right hand pointing with the left counted off "Fire, the Polio Vaccine, Tivo"

g, your original was epic. I think you're halfway done with NaNoWriMo.


Puppybrose, that's a great definition except the speed of light is a constant and needs no equation. 186,282 miles per second. O Ceallaigh, can I borrow the propellor?

Al, at what speed do they get quiet?

g, thanks for pointing that out. I see him headed for Europe.

Diesel said...

The rarest of traits, generally only recognized in oneself.

QuillDancer said...

Doug, I've been here too long. I actually predicted your response. Now I am a frightened genius -- or telepathic.

Mutha said...

Genius: What complexity is often mistaken for; A catagory that often ignores simplicty.

cheesemeister said...

Genius: a close cousin of insanity.

G said...

Notice I did not say pruning as that would have indicated that growth was encouraged.

a4g said...

Genius, n. A dunderheaded fool who-- by reducing entire complex scientific fields to something that can be printed on a T-shirt-- humiliates colleagues, dries up grants, and ruins careers.

A man who sees the world as a child.

LeesahEm. said...

genius-a title that feels best when self-proclaimed and self-annointed. should usually be paired with a little delusion.

puppybrose said...

oh thanks a lot, Doug. i was merely trying to make a *relatively* funny joke, in an effort to demonstrate a flash of comic genius. serves me right. next time i'll know better than to try anything so complicated until *after* the caffeine infusion kicks in.

now i just feel stupid.

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." ~ Elbert Hubbard

Anomie-Atlanta said...

Wizard of modern times.

Jake said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
O Ceallaigh said...

GENIUS, n. Originally, a spirit (see, Mireille, you were right after all), generally strong-willed and incomprehensible, hence credited with superior wisdom and therefore influential - and fortunate enough to have not yet been revealed as a phantom.

Nowadays, a person, generally strong-willed and incomprehensible, hence credited with superior wisdom and therefore influential - and fortunate enough to have not yet been exposed as a fraud.

Actually, SC, Einstein was understood before his death. More or less ... So was Morrison, his genius, I think, is fading now. You'll have to tell me more about Cobain ...

Jake said...

Genius: n. champion of the not-so-aesthetically pleasing.

Genus: n. a genius's family tree.

Guinness: n. substance by which a genius may breed with a more aesthetically pleasing caste.

see also John Kerry

tsduff said...

Wyle E. Coyote - Genius

dddragon said...

a word bandied about too much.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't take a Genius to figure out how f*cked up Bush is.

If you're not outraged, you probably voted for Bush. Twice.

SquareGirl said...

Knowing when to shut up.

and

Every child under the age of three, according to their mothers.

Logophile said...

I am almost positive there is a witty and clever way to make reference here but I am too lazy to think of it.
Can I have partial credit?

Logophile said...

Make reference to Flowers for Algernon
insert above

Doug said...

Diesel, it's second only to uniqueness in commonness.

Quill, the third option is that I am a very simple creature.

It's true, Mutha, and a paradox. Long-windedness and genius are rarely mistaken for each other but both are identified with complexity.

Its uncle, in fact, Cheesemeister.

g, noted.

Gosh, a4g. That was so well-written and true I'm missing the satire. I'll add this, though: Genius, n. Someone who uses the word Dunderhead but not gosh.

Masil, see Wile E. Coyote.

Puppybrose, did you come here to learn or just mouth off? There is no proven correlation between genius and a contrary temper. That is a great quote, though.

Anomie, you mean Charlie Chaplin or the man behind the curtain.

O Ceallaigh, I was pretty much faking it with Cobain, too. I appreciate those definitions and how you replaced the ending.

That's great, Jake. I take from that that genius is the masculine form of "good personality." Hear, hear!

Terry, that's Super-genius.

Dddragon, I promise not to repeat it as the word of the day, although I may still apply it to your daughters.

Karen, or that you prefer popular sentiment to the constitution. A sure sign that genius is lacking.

Square, those were both good definitions. A terror at their mother's side, or anyone ignorant by opportunity instead of choice.

Doug said...

Logo, done and credit granted!

ariel said...

genius, God only knows.

QuillDancer said...

I have been called genius. I do have to admit though that I suspect the label, especially since it was prefaced with the word "pure" and that simply is not ... any of your business.

Old Mule said...

Ok, Doug. Now you have really opened up a can of worms! While most physicists consider the speed of light to be constant (upholding the theory of relativity, among others), a certain group of scientists find this implausible and unlikely.

For instance, see:

http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn6092

By the way, this is all in fun :)
I am a liberal arts guy...what do I know...

PANSI said...

I am to moddest to coment!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I have nothing to declare except my genius. Oscar Wilde

He was so funny.

a4g said...

Bonus definition due to my inexcusable paucity of late, and the fact that above, I ignored the arts in favor of science:

Genius, n. One whose excrement has the plasticity of modeling clay.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

You.

tsduff said...

Geniuses are people who dash off wierd, wild, incomprehensible poems with astonishing facility, & then go & get booming drunk & sleep in the gutter. Genius elevates a man to ineffable speres [sic] far above the vulgar world, & fills his soul with a regal contempt for the gross & sordid things of earth. It is probably on account of this that people who have genius do not pay their board, as a general thing.
- Mark Twain's Notebooks & Journals, vol. 1, 1855-1873, p. 250.

I liked this one :-)

Jamie Dawn said...

Doug, you're a genius by your own definition!! :)

Not to brag or anything, but I managed to get 100% on all THREE of my hideous Earth Science tests.
My professor pulled me aside and complimented my, dare I say... genius?! Of course, he's a geologist, which means he has rocks for brains.

Minka said...

I have been called a lot of thinsg in my life- genius, smarta**, brilliant- among them. usually uttered by Mom, indicating the exact opposite. Since I don´t care for these words that much anymore. It is teh tone that makes the music!

Doug said...

Ariel, God and the geniuses.

That's OK, Quill, I'm not that particular.

Mule, I don't have to read that. Those are the Cesium heads, aren't they. Heretics! Actually, there's another good definition: Last year's heretic.

Genius, p.n. PANSI!!!!

Actonbell, is there anyone more quotable?

a4g, and the aroma of sage.

TLP, I'm over 3. See Square girl's definition.

Terry, that's another great quote.

Jamie Dawn, you, sister must be a genius.

I hear you, Minka. I'll take "furry" over any of those.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Blog moms don't give up on that assessment until the blogson is 60 or so.

Being a genius is a real a$$-et. The pay is sh*t though.

cooper said...

pansi took my line, but if I had known you were going to be talking about me I would have arrived sooner.

Al said...

Genius: In WWII, the guy who issued helmets to the kamikaze pilots.

Doug said...

TLP, you're cussing. I hope I didn't offend you. We geniuses can be rude that way.

Cooper, that's nice thing about having your name at the top of today's post. It was like you were here all day.

Al, him or the Kamikaze who left the keys in the plane.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

genius - The opposite of me.

Just Tom said...

You're a genus, species.

My word verfication is, and I'm not making this up, "fuxbox."

QuillDancer said...

Help me prove I'm a genius! Vote for me at Sar's. Look in the sidebar for the caption contest.

Just Tom said...

nununu no. Vote for ME at Sar's and I won't insult you by telling you where to look for the contest at Sar's, because it's flippin' obvious! So there! Who's genius now, species?

Doug said...

Poobah, I think omniscience and omnipotence are parallel. Is that what you mean?

Quill and Tom, your phylum are vicious.