Friday, February 08, 2008

Scripture

SCRIPTURE, n. Obsolete in the pulpit-succumbed to by politics.

2007 Update: The unchanging word of the universal God, as currently interpreted by various tribes.

17 comments:

The Old Mule said...

the word of the mule

mireille said...

It IS all in the interpretation, isn't it? Also, OldMule was FIRST!!!!! *he is such a humble guy, he wouldn't claim it for himself* xoxo

Minka said...

scripture,n. entirely depends on the material it is written on and with

Sometimes my Mom leaves me notes and lists to pursue in the near future; but she has to remember that paper tears, chalk erases and lipstick on my mirror is just rude!

the amoeba said...

SCRIPTURE, n. A Word applied to a wound. Commonly with disinfectant properties (see JIHAD).

TLP said...

As a heathen I just have to ask if you're ever going to do Apocrypha as the word of the day.

ariel said...

Scriptures, advices can be heard in silence only.

Doug said...

Mule, I very much enjoy it when you pretend to be bombastic. At the next meeting of the Dobbs society, I'm going to move we make you our mascot.

Mireille, good for you for holding the feller up.

Minka, I'm pretty sure it isn't scripture if its written in lipstick. Oh, wait. Was it red?

Create in me a clean heart, right Amoeba?

TLP, I'm kind of bound to the the word selection of your late co-heathen. I could do it on a Wednesday, though.

Ariel, that's a great definition. I can imagine that on a pastor's desk.

quilly said...

SCRIPTURE n.
most widely read "how to" book in the genre.

Jamie Dawn said...

Your definition made me chuckle.

Scripture: God's promises, commandments, lessons, and instructions with some mysteries thrown in to keep us humble.

The ZenFo Pro said...

Oh Dawg of wonder, how can you interpret the Scriptural definition of such a faith-based thing as Scripture? ;)

tsduff said...

Scrip ture
Over ture
Aper ture
Litera ture
Fu ture
...all of which show promise.

sauerkraut said...

Scripture: in Portland, ME, a man named Skinner was accused of abuse. Father Coughlin decided nevertheless to allow Skinner to bunkdown on Church property. For his sin, in 2004, Father Coughlin was censured and suspended by Bishop Malone.

Fast forward to more recent times and Bishop Malone decides to allow Father Coughlin to reup with liturgical duties. When the locals learned of this, they gave Bishop Malone the Holy Scriptures, causing the good Bishop to again put Father Coughlin on hiatus.

Will they never learn?

cherie said...

scripture: Divinely inspired writing such as....this, of course.

Jim said...

I always try to capitalize that word because it is the written Word of God.

Scripture: always reminds me of "it is written ... "
..

weirsdo said...

Bierce hardly seems to need an update on this one.

Doug said...

Quilly, and the rarest in the "self-help" section.

Plenty of each, JD. Yep.

That, old friend, is why you're a zen information pro.

Terry, do bugs never hit your rose-colored visor?

Sauerkraut, we read and read and some sometimes learn.

Cherie, are you the new Cooper?

And it is, Jim. Written and translated.

Weirsdo, I had the same thought.

8:18 AM

Lily Strange said...

Scripture = history
aka an agreed-upon set of lies.
Or at least so it is in many instances.
I look for common threads in various religions and philosophies. I think that comes pretty close to truth.