Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Barrister

BARRISTER, n. One of the ten thousand varieties of the genus Lawyer. In England the functions of a barrister are distinct from those of a solicitor. The one advises, the other executes; but the thing advised and the thing executed is the client.

2009 Update: One admitted to the bar for the purpose of transforming a client's jeopardy into a jury's agony. A barrister should not be confused with a barristra, the distinction being that the barrister makes foam without mechanical assistance and espresso over the course of a season.

16 comments:

Karen said...

Bonus >>> This blog serves coffee!!!

Minka said...

would you like chocolate sprinkles with your foam?!

Minka said...

I think both Bierce and You are in excellent "foam" today.

barrister,n. one more human to avoid "physical contact" with, unless you want to be billed twice for ... pretty much the same service.

(trying to make it child friendly, given all the babies reading this blog!)

Karen said...

Bierce Cafe

Coffee ....$1.99
with chocolate sprinkles & foam .... $ Costs more.
espresso only .... $ Costs more than that (includes lemon peel)

Logophile said...

Minka, thank you for your kind thoughfulness regarding my delicate years and spotless mind
:p

I'd rather have a barrista!

Nessa said...

A barrister will advise you too sue when the barrista sells you hot coffee without the printed injury warning label.

If you want to read the "real" reasons for the large settlement in the McDonald's coffee lawsuit go HERE (written by an attorney group, of course.)

karma said...

you can have great fun sliding down on one ... wait a minute, that's bannister

ormacsn: an arm and a leg

the amoeba said...

BARRISTER, n. One of several classes of leech which perceives what our Just Desserts are, and engorges itself ensuring that We get them.

Y'wanna know the reason why McDonald's coffee was scalding hot?

"Damn you, when I order hot coffee, I want hot coffee! What's the matter with you scumbags?"

I was there ...

actonbell said...

I love your update! It's a funny quirk in the language that highlights our cultural tendancy to invite women into the bar just to serve in a limited capacity.Heh

Ariel the Thief said...

Monika, thank you! I didn't know it was so obvious, I am so willing to read anyhting as long as I can have chocolate with it. :)

quilly said...

Despite the fact that it pertains to lawyers, this word is really very straight forward when broken down to its root parts:

BAR, n. a barrier or ban

RIST, abbr. radioimmunosorbent test a method which uses radioactive antibodies to bond to a substance, allowing that substance to be identified and extracted.

-ER, prefix meaning "one who"

BARRISTER n. one who bonds himself to a litigants's case for the purpose of extracting the litigant's profit into his own pocket.

This definition brought to you by OCQ LLC

TLP said...

A person we love to hate, and make fun of, but to whom we turn fast enough when we're in trouble.

Lammy said...

Your update was so really funny even though I have no idea what it means!

My verifier is pettifogger.

Jamie Dawn said...

Please!! No legal terms!!! I cannot take it!!!!
Just kidding.
I can handle it. After all, I'm an expert at taking the witness stand and facing barristers.
Objection!

Cooper said...

I think we definitely need more of one and less of the other. Coffee Addict that I am, I imagine you can guess without a hint which one I need less.

Doug said...

Karen, I'm thinking of putting in a waffle iron.

I appreciate your discretion, Minka. The suit is withdrawn.

Actually, Karen, the whole menu comes with grated lemon peel.

That probably depends on which bar you're at, Logo.

Nessa, listening to a barrister and drinking hot coffee are both choices.

Even so, K.

I still am, Amoeba. And I agree.

Actonbell, I didn't think of that. Ha, for sure.

Oh, it's obvious, Ariel.

Quilly, Amoeba's rubbing off, I see.

Very true, TLP.

Lammy, rorschach jokes are kind of the house specialty.

Sustained!

I can, Coop. Now, between barristas and architects...