Friday, December 22, 2006

Debtor

DEBTOR, n. A worthy person, in whose interest the national finances should be so managed as to depreciate the national currency.

2006 Update: A victim of the imperialist strategies of the Chinese, national policies that favor multinational corporations and commercial propaganda broadcast through the plasma television over the bathtub.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Debtor: In a lost verse of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", thirteen of these come a-groveling.

O Ceallaigh said...

DEBTOR, n. The red part of Black Friday. The prey of the forecloser.

Brian said...

Gather round children and hear this story of woe and me.

Once upon a time there was a nation of elves. They were very happen in their caves and spent many hours happily insulting one another by drawing on the walls. Then it happened one day that the head elf, Insanity Clause, announced to everyone's great distress , that the workshop, at which the entire nation was employed ; was being outsourced.

Insanity Clause read the proclamation which stated that due to rising labor costs, henceforth all toys would be made by trained seals in Arctic sweat lodges.
"He's demented !!" shouted many shrill voices.
"We are not puppets " said the leader of the union, Mo'a Troll. "We refuse to let our domestic production be taken away from us."

But alas children, despite all their protests, the workshop was razed and turned into vacation condos for the trained seals. For the seals had discovered, that if they in turn moved production elsewhere, their status as debtors would change to filthy rich.

The moral of this story is, prosperity is an illusion caused by the flickering firelight on the cave walls of our ancestors.

Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah everyone. (((hugs)))

QuillDancer said...

debtor sy. teacher, who used to get paid in apples, but now in apple cores.

puppybrose said...

i used to wonder why one version of The Lord's Prayer had the line: "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our Debtors..." i mean, i *know* what it was intended to convey, but these days, it seems to take on a whole new meaning. i'm considering writing that line on our AmEx statement after the holidays, in lieu of sending a check... what do ya think?

Mutha said...

I hear Debtor and I think Dickens. Perhaps it is the prospect of being in debt to Old Scrooge during this time of year...Has anyone seen/heard the TV musical version of Scrooge? Dang! It is wonderful and they never seem to show it!

And sorry Doug...I'm not quite "Away" yet.

mireille said...

You have a plasma TV over your bathtub? COOL! Can I come over and use your bathtub? By myself. xoxo

al said...

Puppy, if we all did that, the Chinese and South Korean economies would collapse. Hmmm...

I'm in.

mireille said...

Oh, and you mean the way the Chinese own our national debt? xoxo

al said...

'zachary.

O Ceallaigh said...

You mean the one starring Kelsey Grammer? I just finished playing in the pit orchestra for a youth production of the stage play on which the movie is based. It is remarkable. I'm your debtor for mentioning it and allowing me to be a damned braggart. :)

O Ceallaigh said...

That last comment's directed to Mutha. [bloody comment boxes need an edit function .... grr ...]

Joel said...

Debtor - One of life's greatest common denominators. A club almost anyone can join with little or no experience necessary. The dues are costly but the motivation to belong never seems to go away.

Membership drive currently in full swing!

Anonymous said...

Of course, there are the ole DEBTORS' PRISONS which my mother warned me about. Seems Charles Dicken's dad cooled his heels in such a place. I know a contractor last seen headed for Malaysia who should be in one.

That said, will that be debit or credit?

Logophile said...

OK, the idea of watching the History Channel while taking a bath has me all aflutter, how awesome would that be?!?!

Anonymous said...

you owe me, Douglas

Doug said...

Al, those are smart debtors. Partridge cooks up nice.

O Ceallaigh, its what makes Christmas so spiritually elating.

Nice story, Brian. Maybe if the elf union hadn't played hardball.

Quill, you're supposed to plant the tree.

Puppybrose, they get a little old testamenty around this time of year.

Mutha, from a California perspective you're always away. I haven't seen that but Dickens and debt go together like Hemingway and lechery.

Mireille, you'll want to bring your own soap, I bet. There are no plasma tvs anywhere in my house.

And then who would lend us money, Al?

Yes, Mireille. Scurrilous demons loaning us money. Be wary.

Funnyish, Al.

O Ceallaigh, we at Waking Ambrose are always happy to entertain an extra comment from you.

Joel, they make it very convenient. You can even sign up at the bank.

G is for Georgia.

Logo, one more credit card and you're there. Interesting way to get clean.

Karma, I agree. What's your currency?

Sar said...

It's a little know fact, the saying origianlly went "it is debtor to give than to receive".

That is until the retail advertising letterman, swiped the letters from his varsity sweater and changed debtor to better.

QuillDancer said...

Doug -- apples trees in Vegas? I somehow have trouble contemplating this place as an orchard of anything but pavement and bright lights. Although, Biblically the crop most often harvested here did start with an apple ....

Anonymous said...

What I shall be,
come January 3...
When Christmas spending
Catches up with me...

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well, there's a saying, "Borrowing, like scratching, is only good for a while."
But it's the only way to become a debtor, so I guess you have to do it.

Besides, we can't afford to waste our time making money, now can we? I mean we need to be out SPENDING! Otherwise, I'm sure the economy would crash, and what would the rich do then, poor things?

Doug said...

Sar, Electric Company references are always welcome. Even in corny comments.

Quill, in Deuteronomy it says ""He found him in a desert land And in the wasteland, a howling wilderness; He encircled him, He instructed him, He kept him as the apple of His eye."

Terry,
Be merry with the mistletoe
And enjoy your christmas stew
Open the presents and break them
Before the invoice comes due.

You're right, TLP. We should take a collection. Credit cards out, everyone!

pia said...

In my first economics class, we learned that a country could never be in debt to itself and therefore never be a debtor.

Think Bush must have had the same teacher, or read the same book

Somehow I don't see you as the plasma TV type--unless it's part of a giant computer screen, and then yes I do

Jamie Dawn said...

I was feeling really good until that "plasma television over the bathtub" part. I don't have one of those, and all of a sudden I want one.
Lounging in the tub, candles lit, truffles and hot tea on the ledge, AND watching Desperate Housewives on my plasma screen.
Sounds like heaven to me!!
Santa! Add a plasma screen to my list, and also send my friend, Douglas, something divine for Christmas.
Did someone say something about debt??
No?? Good.

Anonymous said...

You are gifted at prose. ~smiles~

Anonymous said...

I suppose if one's to be a debtor, it would soften the stress quite a bit to be watching a plasma TV in the bathtub.

Oh, oh, I get it, your update means to ponder the origins of the universe! Sometimes I am SO thick--I thought it was just a Bush joke.

Minka said...

Finally, she´s made it. What an awesome day and long too :)
Got three hours of sleep this morning after my night shift, went food shopping with Mom, tried to limit Mom´s extravagancies...dressed two Christmas trees and generally decorated, cleaned and swapped presents all day.
I realized around 5 in the afternoon that I hadn´t eaten anything.
Why am I telling you this? I don´t know...but one has to blow off steam somewhere.

debtor...you made me think of my credit card that has been seriously over-used this last week. Cheers, mate!

but you know what...come Sunday evening all thsi will be forgotten, teh family will sit together and enjoy an awesome meal, I get presents (I checked!) and I can´t wait...

Ok, i am done

for now........

Doug said...

Pia, that's an interesting way of teaching it. There's a history to that theory but I won't bore you with it and it isn't mainstream teaching.

Thank you, Jamie Dawn, seeing you back is a pretty good Christmas gift. A merry one to you and yours.

Haha, Terry. I don't even know about that.

Yes, Actonbell, you really have to look deep to find my meaning. Several shovelfuls.

Sounds like the kind of day you have, Minka. Cheers to you!

Anonymous said...

Debtor: adult human being

Tan Lucy Pez said...

The universe is in debt to Acton Bell, because she ponders it so well. (In fact there's a 'candid' photo of her in her high school yearbook that is captioned, "Pondering the universe again, Acton?"

I pondered this word again, and realized that Mae West was right, "give a man a free hand, he'll run it all over you." So, girls, make him your debtor. Stop givin' stuff away.

Anonymous said...

several pounds of your flesh, darling

lngsky: lucy in the sky with diamonds

Anonymous said...

Debtor... what I am to you in words as I am stumped... blame it on the year... or the bank... or the rain in Spain which simply falls not on the plain... why oh why does nothing make sense here?

*sigh*

Debtor... writer's, thinker's. whatever's block making a b***h of the best o' hermanas in spite of their desire to procure a loquacious payment...

*double sigh*

Doug said...

RIght, Joe. Probably even a mammal.

TLP, you're not helping.

Karma, you're thinking of Antonio.

Hermana, things rarely make sense and rhyme at the same time.

Anonymous said...

need a good doctor of laws, Doug? :-P

Ariel

Doug said...

Ariel, I think a moustache would flatter you.

Anonymous said...

By the way, I hear there you can buy land real cheap - at least way back when.

Anonymous said...

What The Cheesemeister owes could come close to paying off the national debt.