Thursday, November 22, 2007

Abstainer

ABSTAINER, n.  A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.  A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
Said a man to a crapulent youth ; "I thought
You a total abstainer, my son."
"So I am, so I am," said the scapegrace caught-
"But not, sir, a bigoted one."
2007 Update: A good shepherd or a bad host.   A temptation for the epicurean.  See also: TEETOTALER.

Happy Thanksgiving and Blessed Indulgences
May the pious at your table choke on the wishbone

24 comments:

javajazz said...

Happy Thanksgiving Doug,
to you and your family...
may there be no freezing rain
in your cranberry sauce...
xo lisa

I Dive At Night said...

Happy Turkey Day!

I'm celebrating tonight with a big dinner in Amsterdam. I'm sure we'll mention being thankful. Not expecting much talk on abstention.

karma said...

my abs are plenty stained.

Douglas, are you going to thank me today?

jenn said...

Abstainer? Abstaining? Abstain?

I'm not familiar with this word at all. I think you made it up.

Happy thanksgiving you guys!

TLP said...

Happy turkey to you Doug!

I'm going to abstain from smart a$$ remarks today. In writing. On your blog. (Don't want to take this abstaining thing too far.)

mireille said...

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Did you know deep-frying a turkey kills off the tryptophan? ... a word to the wise. xoxo

puppybrose said...

Abstainer: the result of cramming too much food into one's mouth in a short period of time. [see also: cranberry spill]

Happy Thanksgiving, Doug! here's hoping you wind up with a full belly and clean shirt at the end of the day! : )

Logophile said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Doug.
And may the pious choke whereever they are :p

Joel said...

Good one Puppy! Happy Thanksgiving one and all.

AP3 said...

I'm so pious, there's not even a wishbone in the house!

Happy Thanksgiving!

ariel said...

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

"A good shepherd or a bad host." -that's just too funny.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

abstainer - A fitness trainer who spilled tomato soup on their belly.

Happy T-Giving Doug. Try not to stain your abs with the soup course today.

TLP said...

Good one poobah!

Jim said...

Abstainer -- I'm gonna be one, that's for sure! Unless it's real good, then I'll have a little.
Happy Thanksgiving!
..

the amoeba and the quill said...

ABSTAINER, n. One of the brains Igor overlooked in favor of the one from Abby Normal. Monstrous!

What? It's Thanksgiving, not Hallowe'en? You haven't seen the monsters come out on Black Friday, now have you ...?

Hope the turkey settles well, folks. We'll have ours after y'all have gone to bed. The kind of thing that happens when you live just this side of the dateline.

G said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Pfew, nobody choking on wishbones at our table. Thank goodness...or badness :) Just so long as you give thanks.

karma said...

why are you abstaining from coming here, dawg? has cold turkey got you on the run?

tvzslmz: TV helps you lose weight

Mutha said...

I'd like to be on record as saying I was the one who put the stain in abstainer...

Happy Thanksgiving Doug

Indeterminacy said...

Abstainer: The one ordering someone else to do the dirty work.

Alles Gute zum Erntedankfest!

Doug said...

JJ, there was no cranberry sauce. If there hadn't been gravy I'd have called the police.

Morgan, Abstention doesn't seem to be the Amsterdam way. Thanks, pal.

Karma, I'll thank you today.

Jenn, To ABSTAIN means to not be in one of your books.

TLP, I hope you had a grand one among the birds.

Mireille, now you tell me.

Neva, one out of too ain't bad, is it? I hope your tofurkey was tender and your turkeys kind.

Amen, Logo. Great to see you.

You too, Joel.

AP3, longevity is the right punishment for vegetarianism.

Thanks, Ariel. I hope the son shone in Hungary.

Thanks, Poobah. My abs are well-protected. I hope you hade a fine one.

Jim, I hope the whole spread was more than you could stay away from.

Amoeba, I give thanks for monsters first, too.

Amen, G.

Karma, cold turkey makes a fella sleepy and watch football.

Mutha, noted.

Danke Schön, Indie. Sounds like the spouse without income.

ariel said...

Indie, you are so witty. If I was a writer, I'd steal your sayings.

weirsdo said...

Happy Thanksgiving!
We only had one abstainer, and he's turning 90, so we forgave him.

Doug said...

Ariel, if you were a thief, you'd write his stories.

Weirsdo, in vino caritas.

Cooper said...

Hope your Turkey day was grand.

I abstained from the internet. It is the only habit I have worthy of abstention.