"But cloth of misconstruction dressed thought in stylish deception. rrrrRUFF!"-Icy

Monday, March 17, 2008

Corned

CORNED, p.p. Boosy, swipy, soaked, hog drunk, set up. (Very low and vulgar.)
Hell has no fury like a woman corned.
Hector Stuart
2008 Update:  Possessed of or by grain.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day to all, but particularly the several Irish Jewish women who frequent this site, celebrating for old-time's sake.

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29 Comments:

Anonymous Mo'a said...

Thank you Google Reader...I am first.

5:53 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Hey! I'm part Irish, so I guess I can get partly corned today.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman corned."
That is just TOO funny!!!

May the Luck of the Irish be with Thee!

5:56 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Don't forget to wear green today, unless that is you WANT to get pinched.

5:57 AM  
Blogger actonbell said...

Better corned than corny.

Happy St.Patrick's Day:)

5:59 AM  
Anonymous Mo'a said...

Now where were we...Oh!!! yes corned.
Aside from corned beef...did you know that almost all processed food in the US has corn syrup in it?
I discovered this recently because I have a corn allergy...corny jokes have always given me hives...How is that for a set up?

6:00 AM  
Blogger G said...

Corned - the beef that Scissors will be preparing for our Kosher St. Paddy's feast.

Top o the mornin and Happy Saint Paddy's day to ya!

Funny Mo'a - great setup.

6:07 AM  
Blogger mireille said...

Oy and begorrah! Wonder why shamrocks aren't scented. Happy St. Patrick's Day, D! xoxo

6:28 AM  
Blogger TLP said...

Happy St. Pat's to you all!

I love things corned: corned dogs, corned bread, corned fritters, ... corned toes ain't so hot though.

flyuraz: this is my third try at the verifier, and if it doesn't take this time, I will be flyin' up yours sonny.

6:58 AM  
Blogger TLP said...

Hey! Threats work! Who knew?

6:58 AM  
Blogger Mutha said...

I made Irish Soda Bread last night and am wearing green much to my mother's delight.
Now for the booze!

I am dying to know your ethnic heritage Doug. General mutt variety? Or would ya be from the fair isle?

8:51 AM  
Blogger Mutha said...

And ... as you can plainly see from my picture... I AM green (it's not easy...by the way)

8:52 AM  
Anonymous t'amoeba o' the green said...

CORNED, p. p. A salty dog.

I'm given to understand that corned beef was not a common meal served in Ireland. No beef, yes. Unless you count the kind of beef that led to the Troubles.

I shall be a'wearin', but not a'drinkin', of the Green today, lads and lassies. And the only "right" about that, Dawg, is because I wish to stay in the right lane on my drive home. And hope all the lost Irishmen of Hawai‘i do the same.

;)

9:32 AM  
Blogger karma said...

here i pop up again just like that darn corn

was away in another city attending a humungous wedding where there was eating like no tomorrow. i will live to tell the tale

bpvhgpdq: puking green

10:00 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Corned beef and cabbage,
Shamrocks and Irish kisses.
All mine. Get your own.

10:01 AM  
Blogger Cooper said...

I forgot it was the day until I arrived home from school to read about it all over the place.

Corned is a word?

Cool.

12:47 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Well googled, Mo'a.

Jamie Dawn, by pure coincidence I am wearing green. When I remember I refuse.

Actonbell, the two are comorbid.

Mo'a, maybe someone else will take a pop at it. Not me.

Enjoy, g. Can I come?

It's a mystery to me, too, Mireille. Heaven knows cabbage is.

TLP, in school I wore a cornice. I bet your granddaughters knew.

Pretty muttish, Mutha, a mix of madmen, mongrels and maybe a mulatto. My maternal grandmother was from Wales which is as close as I get to being Irish. Mostly, though, I'm beagle.

O'moeba that was a great post. I hope people catch that link.

Hey, there, K! I heard Hindu weddings were interminable but you've been gone for months.

Quilly, you're testing
my patience, piety and
tourette's syndrome, *&%^@%!

Cooper, forgetting is so easy unless you come into contact with someone of genuine or imagined Irish heritage in which case the best you can be is deaf and unarmed.

1:28 PM  
Blogger ariel said...

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! The greatest holiday, no doubt.

Keep in mind, a wild beast corned is not safe to approach.

1:40 PM  
Anonymous quilly said...

A steer overhead the farmer
say he was to be corned,
and ran to the grain trough.

1:59 PM  
Blogger tsduff said...

I'm wearing my orange today... Grandma always told me I had to wear the orange rather than the green. Seems like in Iceland, they don't even notice that it is St. Patrick's Day.

Corned: v. What Tom Hanks did to the baby corn with his teeth in "BIG". This is actually my childrens' definition of the word.

2:23 PM  
Blogger G said...

I'm happy to celebrate for any sake - old time's or not.

2:38 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Ariel, it takes a special genius to pun in a language not your own. I'm still working on something for narancssárga.

Quilly, how long til Spring break ends?

Terry, I've heard in Ireland St. Patrick's Day is a sober holiday. This is why Irish people should never leave home.

Fair enough, g. Hope it was grand.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous quilly said...

I return to class,
March 31st, at which time
you're expecting what?

8:55 PM  
Anonymous quilly said...

O'Ceallaigh says that
you might be feeling like corned beef
haiku pressure cooking.

O'Ceallaigh says that
my life is in jeopardy
and I don't know it.

8:58 PM  
Blogger ariel said...

I for one enjoy your haiku conversation both here and at Shahrazade's wedding. Quilly, no worry, I saw a film about Richard III, and a black rapper said, if the gangsters spoke like the characters of Shakespeare, a lot less murder would happen in the streets because the guys would forget what they were going to do by the time they finished talking. Rhyme can save lifes!

10:29 PM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Ariel, Dawg said --
"No haiku at Bitter Bierce!"
So I had no choice.

If Dawg has me corned,
so be it. All that salt will
add savor to my verse.

10:46 PM  
Blogger Hobbes said...

Victim of a bad pun, e. g., your readers after Hector Stuart.

3:57 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Quilly, I just hate that all this haikury is being missed out on by your 5-year-olds.

Ariel, that was Looking For Richard by Al Pacino and that was not a rapper, but it was a great soliloquy. My favorite line from that movie "What do you people know about Shakespeare?!?!"

Quilly, you have might!
There is power in haiku:
Diluted word strength.

Hobbes, I agree. I'm still not sure I get it.

6:29 AM  
Blogger Minka said...

corn reminds me of simpler times. When I used to be younger, wearing red rubber boots, I used to sneak in our neighbours cornfield and eat fresh corn. Once I found a dead fox in the field and organized excursions for the kids in my neighbourhood to see the fox in exchange for bubble gum!

I really don't know what happened to my business sense over the years!

12:08 PM  
Blogger ariel said...

Yes, Doug, and he is the best Richard III I have ever seen. I have the feeling he enjoyed the making of that mnovie more than any other movies he's ever made. Or at least he seemed real there.

12:17 PM  

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