Friday, November 11, 2005

Pedigree

Pedigree, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendant with a cigarette.

2005 Update: 1. The evidence supporting television as the determinant of character.
2. That which ordains succession in a monarchy and election in a democracy.

36 comments:

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Pedigree,n. A foot doctor's college diploma.

oyisikzy: Oh, yes, I'm firstsky.
Also first word verifier that I've seen in a long time that doesn't have a "q" in it.

AP3 said...

Oh, good one, TLP!

I can't top that.

Sar said...

When I saw today's word I got all excited and thought to myself "Self, you can definately relate to this one!".

Then I realized it wasn't Pedicure.

mireille said...

heh. Swim bladder. I have such a weird image of swim bladder. But it's a good definition, Doug! xoxo

Doug said...

Very good, TLP. I thought something tasted funny when I saw the word.

Aw, c'mon, Aral. You've got your mama's brains.

Hahaha, Sar. As far as I know, there is no definition for that word.

Mireille, I had the same reaction. And thanks.

AsianSmiles said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
AsianSmiles said...

a list of people to blame for someone's shoe size.

(sorry for the deleted comment)

thanks Doug.

Chatham said...

Pedigree: a listing of ancestors that is supposed to mean that you're something special.

I don't need papers to tell me that!

dddragon said...

Pedigree: The list of ancestors you aren't sure you really want to discover. Kings, scoundrels, dougs or bores might be there.

ChatCat, you're just annoyed that we didn't pay the fee. You're a pureblood in my book.

Doug said...

Asiansmiles, that's funny. Liz, who's new around here has a post about her long toes up.

Chatcat, I think your servants say more for you than your ancestors. For example,

Dddragon, I'm pretty sure there are no Dougs in anyone's pedigree. Plenty of scoundrels in mine, though. Thanks for the laugh.

Tom & Icy said...

That is one delicious dog food!

Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

pedigree,n. those that have passed onto to me the much mutated genes responsible for my intelligent quotient, and my fondness for all thing fishy. I always assumed there was a seal in thee somewhere.

With all the dogs around here I'm suprised that word has not come up before.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

Please refrain from the use of Darwinian metaphores. God doesn't like them.

Signed,
Kansas Board of Education

Doug said...

Good girl, Icy! Tom, get that dog some Pedigree (TM)!

Alice, I am beyond grateful for your taste for fishyness. How did you know I had a seal for breakfast?

Thanks, Poobah. There'll be no pox on your house.

tlm said...

I'm with dddragon. I know too many people who've looked into their family ancestry and found some really scary stuff.

Sreekesh Menon said...

the mother of all clonings!

Doug said...

Hey, TLM! Sar let you out? In my family, we've got enough skeletons in our living rooms, I never bothered checking the closets.

Sree, clones have mothers?

Sar said...

TLM, you made it here - yay! :)

Indeterminacy said...

Pedigree: The complimentary paper they give your dog while you're at the Barbados University picking up your PhD.

OK Doug, you can come back and read the story now.

Tan Lucy Pez said...

After running around and shopping all day I've come back to say that Pedigree is the degree to which your peds hurt. Maybe tomorrow I'll shop for a new pair of walking shoes.

Of course if you are slue-footed, maybe it refers to the fact that your peds can't agree on which direction to go.

Doug said...

I know, Sar. It's exciting, right?

Nice, Indie. Very subtle.

Slue-footed, TLP? I don't know that one.

OK, I'm going to have another go: Pedigree, n. That which ordains succession in a Monarchy and election in a Democracy.

actonbell said...

Wow, Doug, that's fantastic! In fact, all the definitions are wonderful, and they all make sense at the same time. There must be something special about November 11th, and the general chrono-synclastic infundibulabilty of the day!

Doug said...

Haha, Actonbell, thanks. I think November babies share a Wampeter.

weirsdo said...

Eugenic genealogy.

Herd record, minus the black sheep.

Jamie Dawn said...

I hate it when I'm so late getting to blog.
Oh well... I enjoyed the comments. I think Icy is right. From what I've heard, Pedigree dog food is one of the best. I can't say I know that from personal experience, so I will take Icy's word for it.
My brother and I were told that we "come from good stock." My maternal great-grandmother's maiden name was Holstein.

Fred said...

Chrono-synclastic infundibulabilty? Acton, stop using all thos syllables. I'm only a high school teacher, not a college professor.

I'm with AP3 - can't top some of the comments up there. I'll just hide in the corner and slip out...

Tan Lucy Pez said...

When I was a kid anyway, slue-footed meant the opposite of pigeon-toed. Your feet veer in opposite directions. So your peds disagree. Ya know, Doug, it ain't never funny if you hafta spell it out. So thanks a lot.

That Doug. Not nice to his guests.

Doug said...

Thanks, Weirsdo. In my family it's only the black sheep.

Hahaha, Jamie Dawn. Then you heard right, although I could have told you that.

Fred, on you way out pick up a copy of Slaughterhouse Five.

Aw, sorry TLP. But I learned a new word. That's somethin' right?

dddragon said...

Yeah, Doug, like Pecos Bill's Slue-Foot Sue. The one who bustle-bounced her way to the moon.

GABRIEL C. ZOLMAN said...

Pedigree, n. That which pertains a h1story of abuse--in particular, the chronic molestation of one's ego.

)+(

Sar said...

Doug, bravo on your #2 definition!

karma said...

considering each new generation fails to live upto the expectations of the previous one, i'd say its murder by third degree

qdzlgblf: roughly translated from the language of our ancestors, it means 'beat this'.

oh yes, there is a 'q' there

Doug said...

OK, OK, I'm a dummie!

Thanks, Dddragon, is that from a song or a story? I'll look for that.

Gabriel, still on the edge of bad taste and felony, I see. Have you posted yet?

Thanks, Sar. I should maybe switch to afternoons.

Clever, clever Karma.

Nony Mitchell said...

my oh my...I must remember to stop waving mine around...frightening

Comfort Addict said...

An ancestral resume where the dead are the references.

Doug said...

Let it wave, Spiritdancer!

Comfort Addict, that's the best kind.