Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Kleptomaniac

KLEPTOMANIAC, n. A rich thief.

2006 Update: A revealed member of the tribe of Adam.

40 comments:

Sar said...

Kleptomaniac - yeah whatever; I just had to appease my uncontrollable urge to nab me the coveted first comment here.

AP3 said...

Kleptomaniac, n. The European settlers of North America. (See slang term, "Indian giver" - HA!)

Miz BoheMia said...

Kleptomaniac... oh no! The folly of bohemians in their youth... but you did not hear it from me!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

For some reason I have this compulsive desire to steal Ambrose's definition today.

And maybe I could tuck AP3's definition in my pocket too, ... oh, and I'll take Doug's while I'm here....

Doug said...

Sar, that's a good steal.

ap3, thanks for remembering that. I'm so ashamed.

Miz B, everyone in Southern California is already talking about it. I walked into a store with my laptop and they made me close your window.

TLP, we're giving 'em away.

karma said...

a person who steals the thunder from a sex maniac

oviizzrg: when not asleep, ova get organised

O Ceallaigh said...

MANIAC, n. A resident of Maine. KLEPTOMANIAC: Maine resident who practices one of the rites allied to the sacred discipline cheating, which he is pleased to call commerce - that is to say, all of them. Ayup.

See STEAL in the New Millennium Devil's Dictionary (the story attached to it is way too long to post here).

Any Non Sequitur fans here? Wiley Miller is God. Sorry, Doug. :) He lives in Maine. He's a PFA (Person From Away), but so am I so I'll forgive him.

Jenna Howard said...

Taking what is rightfully mine.

Blogger stole my first definition.

Harrumph.

Cowgirl said...

Kleptomaniac - someone who can't help helping themselves.

The Village Idiot said...

I am not a crook....

wait..thats not it.

I shall return

logo said...

Man, the Village Idiot stole from Nixon AND MacArthur, I think he is my definition of a klepto

The Village Idiot said...

its not stealing..its re-use and in an object-oriented universe..re-use is highly coveted

Rio said...

a trait that comes out in most girls i know when drinking at stranger's homes. also known as purse packing, i however find it silly, i have enough shit that i dont know where it came from.
and spring break: a did a quick stint in san diego and partied like it was 1999 then realized walking in parks and holding hands was way better then having to charm mexicans so i could get to the front lines of concerts. and i didnt write one paper unfortunately im doing all that now.

Minka said...

You are kleptomanic? Don´t worry, I am sure there is something you can take for it!

The Village Idiot said...

Kleptomaniac -- A dyslexic Klimpt Art Lover.

word veri umpig..

what is it with pigs in word veri today, my previous one had diporci..dip and porci(ne) is someone(something) trying to tell me something?

Doug said...

Karma is that a nymphokleptomaniac or a kleptonymphomaniac. One steals a kiss.

O Ceallaigh, I think I read about that in Needful Things.

Blogger is a plagiarist, Jenna but you saved the good one. Well done.

Haha, Cowgirl, welldone.

Village Idiot, I agree with Logo. The next one oughta be original.

A recycler, V.I. You are a virtuous man, thief.

Rio, I didn't know that about women. Hey, have you seen my wallet? I had it at the park.

Doug said...

Oops...
Minka, Iron or lead supplements are supposed to work wonders.

V.I. I love that one. You get 5 fatuous ones.

The Village Idiot said...

Doug -- I returned inspired..the previous lack of inspiration was due to a dog with flu - like symptoms. Let me tell you, waking up to that is something to be experienced by everyone at least once.

O Ceallaigh said...

Needful Things ... so indeed you did, Doug, so you did. That's what I get for not properly keeping up with the doings in the Kingdom of Maine.

ariel said...

kleptomaniac? I thought that was called collector.

ariel said...

being a kleptomaniac is fun. it's only embarrassing when they recognize the scarf you give them for their birthday is the one they lost last summer...

Kyahgirl said...

ariel, are you going to give me my scarf back? My birthday is coming up. Do you have Doug's wallet too?

ariel said...

I am going to give Doug's wallet to you! there was steak in it instead of money...

Kyahgirl said...

ok great! steak, I love steak :-)

a4g said...

Kleptomaniac, n. The pupal stage of the philanthropist.

Jamie Dawn said...

Kleptomaniacs go into a store with a large, empty purse and leave with a purse full of stuff they never remember taking.
There are classes of Kleptoes:
1. Lower Class - known to nab things like nail polish and mascara.
2. Upper Class - known to nab jewel-encrusted watches and expensive clothing.
"Of course, I meant to pay for those things!" said innocent-faced Wynona Ryder.

dddragon said...

And here I thought it was a clutzy crazy person.

Miz BoheMia said...

Kleptomaniac... Seriously, what is to be expected when a teenage, seemingly goodie-two-shoes girl is given a large Levi's jacket with huge, and I mean HUGE inner pockets? Crap, they are still looking for me in Southern California? I don't know if I can go back to Disneyland yet.

What? Nothing. I said NOTHING!

The Village Idiot said...

Miz B got kicked out of the Magic Kingdom too????

O Ceallaigh said...

The pupal stage of the philanthropist.

PRICELESS, a4g! But it would be the larval stage, not the pupal. The pupal stage would be when he hires out the prestidigitation, rather than doing it himself.

SquareGirl said...

Kleptomaniac, n. A rich thief. A revealed member of the tribe of Adam.

Antonia said...

this is a jolly interesting blog and a very charming idea, waking old Ambrose...I have this dictionary standing on my desk next to all my other 'normal' dictionaries....

Minka said...

"Two dogs are walking down the street, one says, "Wait a minute" and then crosses the road. He sniffs around a fire hydrant and returns. The other dog says, "What was that all about?" The first dog replies, "Just checking my messages!""

Why? No reason! Just thought it was kinda cute and it has nothing to do with the word of today, except that I stole it from soem source on the world-wide-web.

cooper said...

Well there are worse kind of maniacs to be if I had to choose i'd be that one.

karma said...

rob me blind, dog! ;))

actonbell said...

Kleptomaniac-a shopaholic with suction cups on the underside of the fingers and velcro on top of the knuckles. It's virtually impossible to get through the purse, scarf, and glove area empty-handed.

Doug said...

Village Idiot, a dog with a flu is a wearying thing. Nice rally.

Careful, O Caellaigh. With the devil's as your neighbor, its best keep the lawn trim.

Hahaha, Ariel. Yeah, I hate when that happens. Keep the wallet, please return my steak.

Funny, Kyah.

Nice one, as ever, a4g. Bierce would be proud.

Jamie Dawn, are Senators in between?

Deft, Dddragon, but close.

Well, Miz B, Mickey looks a little silly with only one ear. Be a sport.

VI, with you that makes four including my sister and the Bishop's daughter but that's a different story.

O Ceallaigh, I'm starting to have mixed feelings about having a biologist on staff. Good addition, though.

Squaregirl, that's funny but it ain't theft when they give it away.

Antonia, welcome. I do to, but the regular ones are dusty.

Good joke, Minka. We'll take it with or without relevence.

Cooper, I doubt it's the one your readers would choose for you, but your will not ours.

Karma, never. A little at a time.

Actonbell, is that technically shopping?

shayna said...

Shoplifter, you'll never learn
When you commit the crime
Shoplifter, you're getting burned
And now you gotta do the time

It's a 1, 2, 3 on the felony
Well not everything is free
Now that you served the community
It's the life of a petty thief

It's not considered stealing
Unless you're getting caught
But you'll be caught stealing
Tryin' to take something you haven't got

Shoplifter, you'll never learn
What lies behind your back
Not a burgler or a bankrobber
Just a kleptomaniac

Doug said...

Haha, Shayna. *applause* There's always a bigger scoundrel. That lesson went hard by me, by the way.

ariel said...

well, you're still here.