Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Home
HOME, n. The place of last resort--open all night.
2006 Update: A half-acre elysium where our failures never age, old follies never die, no lie is ever forgotten and every pet's a king. The smaller the home, the more inhabited.
Uh...Walela...sorry he is bothering you this much. Sometimes I forget that you have to live with him. I love the new plan, I am pretty sure I got all the details. one question though: assuming a Penguin would want to participate in this,(My CD box still has a few empty slots;)would it matter if the voice recording was accented, barely understandable and had bird noises in the background? Penguins everywhere need to know!
home: ´the place where everybody knows your name and they´re always glad you came´? That would be American Style in Kopavogur, my bookstore downtown and my bank (I go there once a month to get a new card, ´cause I misplaced the old one! ... I bet they have a stack of cards for me by now, ready for pick up!)
Home... you seriously want me to define that? Do you not know already? *sigh*
And yeah, I second Minka... what about us accented penguins and bohemians? Problem with me is there is no guessing thanks to the youtubes... dammit! Unless I put on another accent! Oooooh!
Home: 1.never more dull than when you can't get away, never more beautiful than when you do. 2. starting point 3. finish line 4. place to store one's ruby slippers
so glad your wanderlust is behind you (for now) -- and i can't wait to see where this new bloggy adventure of yours takes us.
Minka, welcome home to first place. Of course, accented English with bird background is just the sort of thing I was hoping for.
Goldennib, I thought that was a bar. Yes'm, welcome to the blogroll.
Al, I don't remember.
Hahaha, Minka. That's why Icelandic banks shouldn't print white ATM cards. It's their own fault.
Thank you, Diane. Very nice song and a nicer comment. It's good to be back.
Yes, Miz B. You can take this one off. I added you to the list. If southerners and midwesterners can do it then, by golly, Bohemian Californian Persian Spanish Danes sure enough can too.
Al, your wife a redneck?
OC, maybe your friends at Maine public radio can help you.
You in, Sis? And thanks.
Brian, that was a very well done and nicely cynical definition. Come over to the dark side. The food's better.
Thanks, Puppybrose. Definition #1 gets a jaded clap.
Thank goodness you came home. I was particularly worried about your fate if puppybrose got a hold of you again in that story line.
Walela's announcement was interesting and the concept sounds like a lot of fun Doug. I will happily read for you and the dogs anytime.
Walela's got a bit of a snippy attitude but its kinda cute and I can see how that would happen, living with a curmdgeon and all.
Welcome home my friend. In this case home, aka Waking Ambrose, is bits and bytes in cyberspace, but its an amazingly warm and inviting space, especially when you're in residence.
Thanks, Kyah. I was thinking of putting in a BBQ pit. What do you think?
G, it sure wasn't reality you were high on. I'm sure of that.
Well, hot damn, Big Al.
a4g, for no reason that can be explained without a diagnosis, your definition reminds me of Diane Keaton in an old Woody Allen movie saying "I'm from Philadelphia. We believe in God."
TLP, home is anywhere there's mama.
Puppybrose, you really want to have this conversation?
Squaregirl, about half a mile from Huntington Memorial hospital, ain't it?
Home is where the lawn and the house and the driveway all need attention. Let's go out, shall we?
Doug, I realize I forgot to mention that you would probably have to pay me to disuade me from participating in your new story plan. We owners of snarky bitches have to stick together.
Logo "bitch" isn't a problem but if you think I own Walela you should have been at my house yesterday when I was sitting on the rug because she had the big chair.
Sure, Diesel, or to reload it. I like the new avatar.
Perfect, Kyah but remember, if the Pezes are around that's not rabbit it's...Jackalope!
Al, you're a thoughtful guy.
Nice quote, Terry. Those who grew up in the Valle Conejo really can't go home.
Cheesemeister, it sounds like home to me...Satan!
Amen, Joel and thanks.
Brian, let me know when you work it out and I'll be glad to put you on the list. I'll probably be coughing on this Saturday's story myself.
"Show me the way to go home I'm tired and I want to go to bed I had a little drink about an hour ago And it went right to my head Where ever I may roam On land or sea or foam You will always hear me singing this song Show me the way to go home" ~Irving King
(song featured in my favorite scene from one of my *favorite* films, "Jaws")
Neva: Apparently I did or didn't because I totally was going to type that exact comment "Home is where the fart is" - such inspiration.
Doug, were you threatening lawsuit to Snuppy in your last comment? If so I hope not over the fart comment which is albeit immature, but not slanderous or anything.
Al, Wild Turkey? what a guy. Hey, I've never actually tried bourbon but I'm game. I'll bring a bottle of good Canadian Rye whiskey just in case though.
Welcome back! Or, as my Italian friend always asks me upon my return from some trip or excursion..."so, did you comport yourself as a man of dignity?" (with accent).
And, as for me (who asked, right?), I am headed to Philadelphia. This is going to be a serious case of country come to town.
52 comments:
That´s right...where I belong!
Uh...Walela...sorry he is bothering you this much. Sometimes I forget that you have to live with him. I love the new plan, I am pretty sure I got all the details.
one question though: assuming a Penguin would want to participate in this,(My CD box still has a few empty slots;)would it matter if the voice recording was accented, barely understandable and had bird noises in the background? Penguins everywhere need to know!
Home: The place where the heart aims for the bull's eye.
The new format sounds interesting.
I see my name on the side there. I'm doing the happy dance.
Home: Off all the bases, Minka most favors this one for stealing.
Tomorrow: Deja Vu, huh, Doug?
Al...don´t start, he just got back!
home: ´the place where everybody knows your name and they´re always glad you came´? That would be American Style in Kopavogur, my bookstore downtown and my bank (I go there once a month to get a new card, ´cause I misplaced the old one! ... I bet they have a stack of cards for me by now, ready for pick up!)
Once there was a way to get back homeward, Once there was a way to get back home, sleep pretty darling, do not cry and I will sing a lullaby.
Glad your back where we need you! Glad you enjoyed your trip. OC was good, but still in training. Missed you. D :)
Home... you seriously want me to define that? Do you not know already? *sigh*
And yeah, I second Minka... what about us accented penguins and bohemians? Problem with me is there is no guessing thanks to the youtubes... dammit! Unless I put on another accent! Oooooh!
In that case, I'm in! FO SHO!
But only if Minka is allowed to play too!!!!
Okay, Minka, Okay...
Home: Those who claim there's no place like it have obviously never eaten at a Cracker Barrel.
HOME, n. The palace where the body resides. The cardboard box where the soul resides. Or vice versa.
Walela! You're going to make me buy a microphone and learn how to do a sound file?? I don't know if I can hack this ...
:)
I got the announcement to open... sounds like a good plan!
Glad you're back home. It always feels good to come home, doesn't it?
Home: Anyplace that is not where you wish to be.
Welcome back home Doug.
Minka: We saw "Happy Feet" last weekend, very funny and we saw your cameo appearance.
Home: 1.never more dull than when you can't get away, never more beautiful than when you do. 2. starting point 3. finish line 4. place to store one's ruby slippers
so glad your wanderlust is behind you (for now) -- and i can't wait to see where this new bloggy adventure of yours takes us.
Home: The best place in the entire universe! Can you tell I'm a homebody at heart?
Welcome home.
Home sometimes I think that my blog is my home but it needs company
Doug is home and now I can stop pouting. Not that I did a very good job of it but the intentions were there.
Minka, welcome home to first place. Of course, accented English with bird background is just the sort of thing I was hoping for.
Goldennib, I thought that was a bar. Yes'm, welcome to the blogroll.
Al, I don't remember.
Hahaha, Minka. That's why Icelandic banks shouldn't print white ATM cards. It's their own fault.
Thank you, Diane. Very nice song and a nicer comment. It's good to be back.
Yes, Miz B. You can take this one off. I added you to the list. If southerners and midwesterners can do it then, by golly, Bohemian Californian Persian Spanish Danes sure enough can too.
Al, your wife a redneck?
OC, maybe your friends at Maine public radio can help you.
You in, Sis? And thanks.
Brian, that was a very well done and nicely cynical definition. Come over to the dark side. The food's better.
Thanks, Puppybrose. Definition #1 gets a jaded clap.
G, let's revisit this one when Tali's, say, 16.
Pia, put in a couch.
Jenna stop pouting and keep sparkling.
Thank goodness you came home. I was particularly worried about your fate if puppybrose got a hold of you again in that story line.
Walela's announcement was interesting and the concept sounds like a lot of fun Doug. I will happily read for you and the dogs anytime.
Walela's got a bit of a snippy attitude but its kinda cute and I can see how that would happen, living with a curmdgeon and all.
Welcome home my friend. In this case home, aka Waking Ambrose, is bits and bytes in cyberspace, but its an amazingly warm and inviting space, especially when you're in residence.
I think I may have been giddy from a caffeine high when I typed that.
Home. I love it. It even sounds sweet, just to say it.
Home: There's no place like it.
or... "not to mention i did it one time with lunchmeat, i.e. crappy pimento loaf."
(man, i hate typos. i suppose this might be a good time to cut back on the coffee, eh?)
Thanks, Kyah. I was thinking of putting in a BBQ pit. What do you think?
G, it sure wasn't reality you were high on. I'm sure of that.
Well, hot damn, Big Al.
a4g, for no reason that can be explained without a diagnosis, your definition reminds me of Diane Keaton in an old Woody Allen movie saying "I'm from Philadelphia. We believe in God."
TLP, home is anywhere there's mama.
Puppybrose, you really want to have this conversation?
Squaregirl, about half a mile from Huntington Memorial hospital, ain't it?
Puppybrose, or consult your attorney.
Home is where the lawn and the house and the driveway all need attention.
Let's go out, shall we?
Doug, I realize I forgot to mention that you would probably have to pay me to disuade me from participating in your new story plan. We owners of snarky bitches have to stick together.
What?? That was the PG use of that word!!
Home (v) To focus in on a relatively small item, generally in order to attack it.
a BBQ pit here? great idea. I'll bring the wild meat.
And, Kyah, I'll bring the Wild Turkey.
Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.
~John Ed Pearce
There is no place like home.
Home:
My own personal hell, wherever I may be.
Or maybe that's homelessness, even if living in a lavish mansion.
The simple goal and purpose of America's favorite pasttime...to get home.
Welcome back Doug!
DOUG!!!! I am your inner voice in the closet... *coughs*
Sorry, practicing my dark side voice.
Would love to record, but I would have to get all techno savvy first, and I don't see that happening in the foreseeable future.
My, it's awful dark in this dank cave you call home... *crash*
Oops! Was that the curmudgeon of the year award?? Nope, just the inner cynic tripping over best intentions. :)
Welcome back my friend.
Home is a place where everyones neuroses are entertained by either spouse, cat, dog etc.
Logo "bitch" isn't a problem but if you think I own Walela you should have been at my house yesterday when I was sitting on the rug because she had the big chair.
Sure, Diesel, or to reload it. I like the new avatar.
Perfect, Kyah but remember, if the Pezes are around that's not rabbit it's...Jackalope!
Al, you're a thoughtful guy.
Nice quote, Terry. Those who grew up in the Valle Conejo really can't go home.
Cheesemeister, it sounds like home to me...Satan!
Amen, Joel and thanks.
Brian, let me know when you work it out and I'll be glad to put you on the list. I'll probably be coughing on this Saturday's story myself.
Entertained or inspired, Mistress.
"Show me the way to go home
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it went right to my head
Where ever I may roam
On land or sea or foam
You will always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home"
~Irving King
(song featured in my favorite scene from one of my *favorite* films, "Jaws")
Neva: Apparently I did or didn't because I totally was going to type that exact comment "Home is where the fart is" - such inspiration.
Doug, were you threatening lawsuit to Snuppy in your last comment? If so I hope not over the fart comment which is albeit immature, but not slanderous or anything.
g: i'm thinkin' Doug objects to "pimento loaf". i know i would if i weren't a vegetarian.
as for the home/fart thing? ah...you know what they say about "like minded people" don't ya, NBFF? me neither. but i'm sure it's good.
Wait a minute - I cannot be everywhere
Al, Wild Turkey? what a guy. Hey, I've never actually tried bourbon but I'm game. I'll bring a bottle of good Canadian Rye whiskey just in case though.
Puppybrose, that was a great drunk scene.
G, let's leave it between the lawyers for now, can we?
Puppybrose, see above.
Pops, you stay out of this and outdoors, if its all the same.
Kyah, I've learned never to say "I'm game" before hunting.
Night Doug.
I am going home now to the Feline.
Anna, if you move back home those neuroses will disappear. I guarantee it!! Then we can deal with mine!!
Doug I sparkle just for you now that you're home. Oh wait...no.
home that place where one is loved despite -- and sometimes because of -- their faults
Puppy - lay low the next couple of days, I feel a subpeona coming.
where the heart is.
welcome back
Doug, you figured out where "back" was! Missed you.
Home: A glimpse of the familiar that inspires warmth in the heart of dread in abdomen...depending what Afterschool Special you identified with.
Home: Final resting place.
Welcome back! Or, as my Italian friend always asks me upon my return from some trip or excursion..."so, did you comport yourself as a man of dignity?" (with accent).
And, as for me (who asked, right?), I am headed to Philadelphia. This is going to be a serious case of country come to town.
And the 2007 plan sounds great.
Home: Wherever my fam is.
OK, Brian, I'll use the window.
Thanks, Jenna. I suspect you sparkle often.
Quill, opening cans of dogfood is no vice.
Anonymous, there is no privileged communication on blogs.
Thanks, Karma. It's nice to be back.
Haha, Mutha. Come on, "Ladies First" was my first exposure to the eating of humans by animals. Set the whole course for my life.
Great Mule. You in? And will you visit W.C. Field's Grave?
Cindra, that would be most of your family, I reckon.
"When you get what you want, you'll go home too."
Auda abu Tayi (Anthony Quinn) Lawrence Of Arabia
Joe, that's a good line from a great movie. I guess home is where you go after getting what you want.
Oh man, you know you've fallen behind blogging when you're this many days behind welcoming home your favorite curmudgeon blog dog.
Good to have you back Doug, and Walela's announcement sounds like fun.
On a lighter note:
Home--where you can fart without becoming a complete social leper.
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