Redefining misanthropy for a fresh generation. Standard posts begin with a definition from Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary followed by a modern adjustment. Miscellany on Wednesday and storytelling on Saturday.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Minor
MINOR, adj. Less objectionable.
2006 Update: n. Anyone not yet of a responsible age or their children.
Minor: 1. An age during which people can commit acts that can get other people arrested. 2. Like a turkey in an oven, there oughtta be a thingy that pops up on a person's forehead when this is over.
Good evening to all of you out there in television land and welcome to the exciting bowl game tonight. It should a game where at least one of the teams gives 110%, isn't that right Dewy? That is correct Brian, this is the first ever bowl game, and due to declining enrollment, this may very well be the last such game for Malthusian University. So what should we all expect from this epic clash tonight Dewy? Certainly the players should not be suffering from any meekness? I should say not Brian. In fact, the combatants that I have been allowed to ogle, I mean interview, all seem to be OCD-ish, chomping at the bit over and over again; so to speak. Thank you Dewy. So this rumble tonight is in fact, a monument to perseverance and the American way of life! Of course, gobs of cash always helps. But who cares! This is about good, clean family fun. Speaking of families, how is the opposition doing tonight? Well Brian, I have to say that despite still being in diapers, the athletic prodigies at Minor College are doing quite well and can't wait to get the game over with so they can all sign their bootie contracts and turn pro.
Oh you know, those guys who get to wear the hats with lights on them. And that might be almost funny if their jobs weren't so dangerous. My new year's resolution is to be more like Gracie of George and Gracie. How'm I doing? *mwah!* xoxo
Minor: the earthquake that shatters the dishes, but not the nerves.
laughing here because i had that one on my mind coming in, then saw Logo's comment... still typed/hit publish (which reminds me, Quilldancer? i never made it back over here to tell you "thanks for the pass" yesterday! i laughed when i saw your note and was sorry i didn't get to respond sooner!)
I have been trying to comment since before this post was posted. It wasn't a minor detail. For some reason I really wanted to be first because I have a very minor mind
I'm a bit tired of minors as they get all the presents, to be minorly honest--not a word now but shall be I'm sure
Doug -- thank you for your generous offer, but a certain someone has requested I decline. Aside from that, I really don't know where you've been, and I am rather fastidious about my diet these days. Maybe someone else can help you with that particular fetish.
Sad music. I agree with Minka though, that musical songs in minor keys can be quite wonderful, but they usually make you feel like crying.
My hubby did a sermon quite awhile ago that was entitled this: Don't major on the minors and don't minor on the majors. As I recall, it was pretty good.
Dr. Iris Henimen: Find the minority report. John Anderton: How do I even know which one has it? Dr. Iris Henimen: It's always the more gifted of the three. John Anderton: Which one is it? Dr. Iris Henimen: The female.
From The Minority Report. A little random, and not the best movie, but I always remember that part.
Pia, sorry for the trouble. May 2007 find you first on many occasions.
Quilly, that's the last time I show up on a phone pole in your neighborhood. I'm really stewed.
Sounds good, Jamie Dawn. My old Church in Atlanta podcasts the sermons. Can we find Keiths major-minor sermon online? It's not proselytizing when someone asks.
Hey, Kyah! A 2007 filled with changes you like to you.
G, I had to google that one but Woody Guthrie is always a good source.
34 comments:
Minor: small -- yet not.
i'm sure teh Penguin would agree.
minor one's own transgressions -- especially in light of everyone else's
Penguin must be out riding horses. Or entertaining [gasp] boyz ...
MINOR, n. Neil Young. "I've been a minor for a heart of gold ..."
No. Wait. That was Jodie Foster. And a pot of gold.
My bad.
Those pesky minor details get me every time.
Sassy Dewy
xo
Nice, Dewy.
Minor: 1. An age during which people can commit acts that can get other people arrested. 2. Like a turkey in an oven, there oughtta be a thingy that pops up on a person's forehead when this is over.
Good evening to all of you out there in television land and welcome to the exciting bowl game tonight. It should a game where at least one of the teams gives 110%, isn't that right Dewy?
That is correct Brian, this is the first ever bowl game, and due to declining enrollment, this may very well be the last such game for Malthusian University.
So what should we all expect from this epic clash tonight Dewy? Certainly the players should not be suffering from any meekness?
I should say not Brian. In fact, the combatants that I have been allowed to ogle, I mean interview, all seem to be OCD-ish, chomping at the bit over and over again; so to speak.
Thank you Dewy. So this rumble tonight is in fact, a monument to perseverance and the American way of life! Of course, gobs of cash always helps. But who cares! This is about good, clean family fun. Speaking of families, how is the opposition doing tonight?
Well Brian, I have to say that despite still being in diapers, the athletic prodigies at Minor College are doing quite well and can't wait to get the game over with so they can all sign their bootie contracts and turn pro.
Have a great New Year's weekend and be safe.
Brian and Sassy Dewy
Minor: The compromise that allowed you to study what you were really interested in while appeasing those who had your best interest at heart.
Minor: the key of wee.
(i'm talking "small" here... don't go where i know you're tempted to go, unless, of course, you have to "go".)
Oh you know, those guys who get to wear the hats with lights on them. And that might be almost funny if their jobs weren't so dangerous. My new year's resolution is to be more like Gracie of George and Gracie. How'm I doing? *mwah!* xoxo
Minor?
no.24 in C minor, K.491
;)
or Beethoven´s 5th!
there is beuaty in minor, heroic beauty!
A characterization often given in haste or self-interest that gets its revenge through persistence.
Minor: Less important than others of the same type. Usage: Minor order, or league, or party.
A minnow compared to a minke whale.
A group I seem to find myself in too frequently. Well, except for actual size.
Puppybrose, tossable?
Quill, I tend to exaggerate mine.
O Ceallaigh, I hope that's a Taxi Driver reference. That was the role Jodie Foster was born to play.
Dewy, don't sweat 'em.
Al, there kind of is.
Brian and Dewy, thanks. You just captured my New Year's plans.
Joel, I majored in economics for love of statistical analysis. The African studies minor was naked ambition.
Haha, Punnybrose. I like that.
Mireille, cheep cheep.
Minka, nice work. No 24 is a great end-of-the-year mention for Mozart's 250th. I think I'll give it a spin just now.
CA, that's why I still like Logan's Run.
TLP, you're big league around here. Except for your actual size.
Doug -- ditto, but then again: one should never spoil a good story for the sake of the truth.
How my stoic English relations describe all inconveniences, such as famine, drought, natural disaster and dismemberment.
Minor: the earthquake that shatters the dishes, but not the nerves.
laughing here because i had that one on my mind coming in, then saw Logo's comment... still typed/hit publish (which reminds me, Quilldancer? i never made it back over here to tell you "thanks for the pass" yesterday! i laughed when i saw your note and was sorry i didn't get to respond sooner!)
Puppy -- de nada besides, if I were the irritable sort, you'd still be much to funny to upset me -- hard to sustain ire when you're laughing.
And that reminds me: Doug -- are you still feeling fowl today?
Minor... as opposed to major? Cause major sounds big and clunky and so I prefer petite and neat and tidy and so I will go with minor.
I wonder if that is why I never finished my major? Come to think of it, I don't have a minor either!
Crap!
According to your definition, Doug, I'm a minor.
Amen, Quilly.
Logo, do you have t get them drunk first?
Good definition, Puppy.
Eat me, Quill.
Herma, tienes dos.
Jenna, that hardly disqualifies it.
I have been trying to comment since before this post was posted. It wasn't a minor
detail. For some reason I really wanted to be first because I have a very minor mind
I'm a bit tired of minors as they get all the presents, to be minorly honest--not a word
now but shall be I'm sure
Doug -- thank you for your generous offer, but a certain someone has requested I decline. Aside from that, I really don't know where you've been, and I am rather fastidious about my diet these days. Maybe someone else can help you with that particular fetish.
Sad music.
I agree with Minka though, that musical songs in minor keys can be quite wonderful, but they usually make you feel like crying.
My hubby did a sermon quite awhile ago that was entitled this: Don't major on the minors and don't minor on the majors.
As I recall, it was pretty good.
oh, I'm with Minka and JD. 'Minor' brings to mind a whole mess of lovely music!
It seemed when I was a teen and everyone was drinking at the bars, that I'd be a minor forever. Now it seems like a million years ago...yikes.
Happy New year Doug, Willie, and Walela. 2007 will bring great things for you I'm sure :-)
"Way over yonder in the minor key,
way over yonder in the minor key,
ain't nobody that can sing like me".
Dr. Iris Henimen: Find the minority report.
John Anderton: How do I even know which one has it?
Dr. Iris Henimen: It's always the more gifted of the three.
John Anderton: Which one is it?
Dr. Iris Henimen: The female.
From The Minority Report. A little random, and not the best movie, but I always remember that part.
Quilly, stick a fork in Doug I think he´s done :)
Pia, sorry for the trouble. May 2007 find you first on many occasions.
Quilly, that's the last time I show up on a phone pole in your neighborhood. I'm really stewed.
Sounds good, Jamie Dawn. My old Church in Atlanta podcasts the sermons. Can we find Keiths major-minor sermon online? It's not proselytizing when someone asks.
Hey, Kyah! A 2007 filled with changes you like to you.
G, I had to google that one but Woody Guthrie is always a good source.
Squaregirl, that's why we elected you chairwoman.
Minka, I'm baked but not beaten.
Minka -- roasted and toasted? He is being unusually mute.
Ha! Good timing, Dawg!
But obviously only half-baked.
Boiled on low heat for a really long time ;)
youa re ven harder to chew now :)
Quilly, I'm a functional half-bakee.
Minka, come on in. The water's fine.
Minor: a comparatively inoffensive offense.
Post a Comment