Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Oracle of Santa Clarita

To a lonely desert village, just outside of L.A.
Came a wanderer searching for meaning.
There was said to be an Oracle, far less rare today,
And two dogs to interpret the gleaning.

For the legend was written from sidebar to scaffold
That, without even charging a fee,
The magus was kind to the bitter and baffled
And a master of lexicography.

The journey was long and the way hard to follow
And mystery shrouded the labors.
For the pathway was bent like the flight of a swallow
And the house, it looked just like its neighbors.

But the seeker, at last, discovered the master
Sitting sagely beneath a broken tree
"Tell me, Oh wise one, for my life's a disaster,
What does it mean to live free?"

The oracle nodded his head, wise and kind
and spoke in a voice low and hoarse
"That is a verb, intransitive, and defined
'To elect one's slaveholder', of course."

And then the wise man rose with a flourish
And, turning his wise and kind head,
Pointed to the seeker and addressed the chorus
"If you don't mind, please explain what I said."

LIVE FREE, v.i. To elect one's slaveholder.
ORACLE, n. A prophetic lichen.
SEEKER, n. A rolling moss.

28 comments:

Minka said...

I always knew Santa Clarita was a Freudian nightmare.

Mutha said...

Live Free: Every one not dead in New Hampshire.
Oracle: The poor shlep who usually ends up blind.
Seeker: team position in the sport of Quidditch.

Minka said...

I love it...I have read it a couple of times now and it grows on you every time.
The first line alone is worth a standing ovation!

I have said so before and I will do so again:

"There is depth beneath all your surface!"

feel free to chorus that!

The Old Mule said...

"to elect one's slaveholder"...that is just perfect.

live free: to be bound by options

oracle: a weather man with a beard and cane

seeker: an interpreter of seasons; one who travels at home.

G said...

Bravo!!! That was masterful!

So is that what we're supposed to be doing here? Explaining what you said? Yeesh, now you tell me.

quilly said...

And to make the pilgrimage to see the Oracle of Santa Clarita one has to go no further then the nearest internet access.

oracle one who makes clarity puzzling.

puppybrose said...

i get it.

Theresa said...

live free: to have the liberty of making the same mistakes as one's ancestors.

oracle: one who informs you of the mistakes you are bound to make.

seeker: one who travels the Web in search of knowlege, or at the very least gossip.

Do I have a clear understanding of today's post? ;)

Doug said...

Minka, it's all the palms, isn't it?

Mutha, that was funny with Live Free. Nice way to work in Harry Potter, too.

Minka, I never get tired of that particular compliment. "Depth beneath all your surface." Too funny.

Mule, good to see you back. Your definition of Oracle was masterful.

G, Ariel explained it yesterday to Theresa. I didn't get it until then.

Great definition, Quilly.

Great, Neva. Would you kindly explain what I said?

You certainly seem to, Theresa. Especially if you recognized your role in it.

Mutha said...

Thanks Doug -- and I loved the poem by the way. You rock.

Jamie Dawn said...

Chocolate truffles are my masters and I their slave,
They control me body and mind.
Desire for them from my innards crave,
Causing increasment in my behind.

Have a nice day.

puppybrose said...

Live Free: battle cry of revolutionists and/or grown children who think sleeping in the basement is "cozy"

Oracle: poser

Seeker: one who trips over the oracle in pursuit of a higher truth and/or can't see the fabulist for the tease.

the amoeba said...

Minka, it's a good thing Doug isn't Irish. In Erin, that crack would likely get the response, "Back of me hand to you". ;)

Elect one's slaveholder is indeed perfect. Too perfect. It's exactly the accusation leveled at Northerners by Southerners in the years leading up to the Confederate Revolu ... [snarl] American Civil War.

"Your slaves are hired by the day, scantily compensated, and not looked after."

No, that's not particularly funny. Neither is life at minimum wage in these United States. Or life in Guatemala picking through other people's garbage. To pick two, Moe.

Karen said...

"live free"

oh goody!

so many blogs, so little time.

free at last, free at last!! :o)

ariel said...

next time, seeker, turn to the chorus first time. :)

I loved the poem, Wednesday is the day of truth!

Logophile said...

mwah!
Yer a genius, have I mentioned this?
Happy Hump Day!

Doug said...

Thanks, Mutha. I'm more of an easy listening guy, though.

Hahaha, Jamie Dawn. Beautiful.

Neva, great twist with your definition for Live Free.

How about living in Hawaii on a professor's salary, Amoeba?

Thank God almight, Karen. Or whatever pagan goddess you sacrifice to.

Ariel, on the third day I rest. Yes, the chorus is who knows what's going on.

Mwah, yerself, Logo. May your hump day be a grand one.

Joel said...

Live free - The realization that it's all an illusion.

Oracle - The lady in the Matrix who started out good but turned out to be bad - apparently made good cookies.

The Seeker - A song by Pete Townsend?

puppybrose said...

and here i thought "...can't see the fabulist for the tease" would strike your fancy. so much for my ability to prognosticate.

laughing at Joel's definition of Oracle. for what it's worth, my cookies are pretty damn good, too.

actonbell said...

The magus was kind to the bitter and baffled
And a master of lexicography.


Yeah, I bet.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

Oracle - A company owned by a SCUM SUCKING lichen.

Sar said...

Well Pardon Moi,

The master...
The master of lexicology...
The oracle...
Wise and kind head????

Who is this author and what have you done with our resident quasi-humble curmudgeon?!

mireille said...

Awww. Very indolic, sweety. xoxo

Doug said...

Joel, that's a great matrix-like definition of "Live Free." How can a woman who bakes good cookies be bad.

You know, Neva, I kind of owe you an apology. I thought that was a great line when I read it in my email and I kinda multi-tasked answering comments. If I clap now, are we square? *claps listlessly*

Actonbell, are you questioning my honest reporting of the facts as they happened? Good day, Madame!

Poobah, which is the company run by peace-loving saints, again?

Sar, I thought I mocked him.

Mireille, I just got where the word "indolent" comes from. Thank you again for the vocabulary lesson. I mean it this time. xoxo

cooper said...

My fascination is overshadowed only by my envy of such a marvel.

I agree, you rock.

Who would have guessed.

All is exposed now.

Doug said...

Cooper, I think you were looking at someone else's flickr account.

tsduff said...

LIVE FREE:as do the birds and the bees

ORACLE: One who professes to know much more than the average Joe

SEEKER: The one who is IT in the game of hide and seek

Doug said...

Terry, somehow freedom never came up the first time I heard about the birds and the bees. I should have known to ask a crow.