Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Two Fables

The Macaw and The Bureau of Tourism

Once upon a time, a macaw with fine feathers was dispatched to greet visitors as they stepped off the boat in the port of a small island resort. The macaw was shiny, bright red and possessed a loud voice. The boat ride to the island was a long one and often delayed by storms or drunken captains. When the macaw's first assignment pulled into port two hours late, the bird shivered his beautiful plumage. When the gang plank was extended, the macaw hopped up on a bench and proclaimed himself as host and the island as San Bekaw. When the throng of cramped and tardy travelers bustled onto the dock, the macaw was crushed under the feet and trunks of the stampeding recreationalists.

Moral: In the great circle of leisure, each step is a new beginning. Or, no bird is an island.


The Coyote and The Grapefruit

Back in the days before genetic engineering, all grapefruit were yellow and the coyotes called them chickenfruit for their color and bitterness. One day, a coyote was running through an orchard and passed a grapefruit that had fallen early. The curious coyote pawed the delicacy for the coyote was moved that this grapefruit, alone in the orchard, had chosen the time of the coyote's crossing to deprive itself of foliage and height and join him on the ground. The coyote composed an ode to pioneers right there and then and sang it to the grapefruit.

When the song was over, the coyote told the grapefruit, "you and I, we aren't so different. Solitary and free, we choose our own course. You left your branch and I my pack and here and now we meet with no obligation to one another but forbearance and voluntary consideration. I will not eat you, friend. For although I am a hunter and you a fruit, we share a spirit."

Just then, a small mouse tittered nearby and the coyote dashed off to chase, kill and eat.

Moral: Poets see themselves in the silent.

POULTRY, n.pl. Feathered expression.
CIRCUMSPECT, adj. Seedless.

17 comments:

puppybrose said...

zuerst!

puppybrose said...

oops. heh heh. sorry Penguin.... in my haste to snag the coveted spot, i forgot to say:

neener neener neener.

kidding. i kid! just trying to act in the spirit of these two fine and funny fables. feel free to stomp on me as you stampede through.

laughing, because i initially read the last line of the second story as "we share a spit" and then expected the next line to be something like...

"...at that point the coyote inadvertantly stepped on the grapfruit and was rewarded with an eyeful of pulp."

Moral: don't cry for me, Wile. E.

(have i mentioned i've been sick and heavily medicated for the past few days? perhaps it bears repeating)

puppybrose said...

and, yeesh. i'd like to point out that, in the time it took to craft that exceedingly long comment, 5 or 6 could have come in here and handily beat me to spots #2 and/or 3. just sayin'...

loveloveloved both stories -- remind me to tell you about the day a scarlet Macaw "deposited" his goods on me one day while we were in Costa Rica. ; )

The Old Mule said...

poultry: a pirate's friend until six pm.

circumspect, n.: the fool who looked before he lept.


"In the great circle of leisure..." is that sailor prattle, or homeric verse? Either way, I like it.

Mutha said...

I didn't expect the one about the coyote and the grapefruit to be a love story.

ariel said...

the end of the first fable surprised me, I was expecting the travellers to linch the macaw instead of killing it accidently. :)

the second one is very beautiful.

circumspect, n, busy with other things

Theresa said...

poultry,n. Something fowl
Sir cumspect A cautious knight.

Just for fun:
[In Camilla's flat afer their first date. Charles's detective is waiting in the car outside]
Camilla Parker-Bowles: How long does that chappie have to wait outside?
Prince Charles: As long as I'm in here.
Camilla Parker-Bowles: So what do we do - send out food and drink at regular intervals? Or do they bring in supplies from the Palace? I suppose you've had all these jokes before.
Prince Charles: Well, most people are a *little* more circumspect.
Camilla Parker-Bowles: Circumspect?
Prince Charles: One gets very used to being called "Sir".
Camilla Parker-Bowles: But you told me not to. Look, I *do* know about royal bloody protocol, Charles. Do you know who my grandmother was? My great grandmother, actually. She was your great great grandfather's mistress, Charles. And do you know what she said her job was? She said "My job is to curtsy to the King first... then jump into bed with him!"
Prince Charles: Did she really?
Camilla Parker-Bowles: Yes she did.
[Camilla looks longingly and seductively at Charles]
Prince Charles: Are you by any chance saying what I think you're saying?
Camilla Parker-Bowles: Put it this way, Charles. I'm buggered if I'm curtsying.

Jamie Dawn said...

If there'd been some sugar or salt nearby, that coyote may have decided to dine on his new amigo. Salt would be my preference.

That poor macaw.

poultry: especially good fried
circumspect: navel gazing

We've got company this week - my MIL and SIL.
Gotta go for now.

Doug said...

Neva, I guess a Californian plus a cold makes a German? I can't get enough good Macaw poop stories.

Mule, "poultry: a pirate's friend until six pm." is just great.

See there, Mutha. And I thought it would be too obvious.

Ariel, I spent two weeks in the Peruvian rainforest building a giant cage for obnoxious macaws. I have fantasized about lynching macaws too often to let a bunch of made-up tourists have the pleasure.

Theresa, that's quite a shaggy dog story. Funny. Unless you take the mental images too far.

Jamie Dawn, have a salty time with your family. I should be here when you get back.

actonbell said...

Aw, a moment of silence for Mr. Macaw, the late macaw. The exmacaw, the expired macaw, who's gone to meet his little macaw-maker. But, that what he gets for actin' like he owned the place.

That coyote is a poet.
Poets see themselves in the silent.
That coyote sees himself as a grapefruit. And sometimes an orange, or a tree.

That reminds me--I was contemplating a banana this morning--oh, nevermind, I ate it.

Great stories, Doug!

TLP said...

Poultry: flock of fighting fowls, defining the pecking order of life.

Circumspect: considering consequences constantly.

mireille said...

So. First: I was moved by the silent poetry.
Second: about circumspection ... I understand there is some controversy in the medical community about whether it should still be performed on infants. Although if they do, I hope they give them more anesthesia than just a few drops of wine. Also, I think there are definitely health benefits. Of course, how would I know? xoxo Somebody told me yesterday that I'm channeling Gracie. It was George, I think. Yes. George.

G said...

Tragic as it ended for the macaw, I laughed. And in the second lovely fable, is that a shot of realism to the love story? You know Hollywood doesn't like that! But I did.

poultry: a cow with feathers.
circumspect: the cow's farmer.

tsduff said...

*Reaches out a wing and extends condolences to the fellow feathered one... *

Poultry: Heard the roosters this a.m. before the sun was up here overlooking the sea... Italian chickens are the same as American. They all crow.

Al said...

The grapefruit and coyote also remind us where philosophy can be found on Maslow's Pyramid.

Doug said...

Thanks, Actonbell. That's the kind of funny I aspire to.

TLP, those are both great definitions.

Haha, Mireille. I think you must have a different word in mind. I'm pretty sure its not circumspection that binds 4000 years of Jewish history. Jeremiah and Moses, maybe.

G, realism is a stretch for me, but we're all growing in our own ways.

Terry, buon giorno! Dove e la biblioteca?

That's right, Al, in the vault.

Minka said...

You could just have said parrot, now couldn´t you?

I liked the second one a lot. But it figures that teh good, ole grape gets dumped for something skinnier and faster. Typical coyote!

Lovelovelove your definition for circumspect!