Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The Fall

The mountain from which Henry fell
Was three miles high. Four from hell.
But the spot from which he left the side
Was merely inches from the tide.
Nonetheless before he made contact
He pictured headlines on the rack
And finally was not disappointed,
For Henry had been news-anointed.
The Wall Street Journal and CNN,
The London Times and countless pens
on countless blogs with pseudonyms,
And countless priests in between hymns
Devoted endless lamentation
To Henry's airborn pirouation.
Every eye to which some sight remains
Saw proof of his unmortal pain
In featured shots of his scraped knee
Captioned "The Erosion of Celebrity."

NEWS, n. pl and sing. Formal information formatted for the infernally uninformed.

27 comments:

Joel said...

Wow! 1st again? Minka have you fall-en and can't get up?

Joel said...

Excellent definition of news Doug!

Omnipotent Poobah said...

news - The opposite of "olds".

puppybrose said...

"infernally uninformed"? hah! that's brilliant.

*claps*

mireille said...

That's skill. Is Henry another name for Scooter? xoxo

quilly said...

news --
Formerly: a presentation of the facts
currently: a presentation of selected information slanted to fit the political agenda and/or financial aspiration of its publisher.

Doug said...

Joel, I was kind of hoping you'd be first today.

Poobah, it's not your father's newspaper.

Thanks, Neva. I was looking forward to you, too.

I'm pretty sure it isn't French for Mireille. Nor Danish for Doug.

Quilly, and preformerly a presentation of selected information slanted to fit the political agenda and/or financial aspiration of its publisher.

Crooks and Nannies said...

News, n. Opinion in masquerade.

TLP said...

News: Pirouetting politicians pointing prisonward are pseudo-news. I miss Rowan & Martin's news!

Brilliant poem!

Sar said...

Haha! I enjoyed today's poem & definition & thought Scooter too.

"We break news for you."
- Daily Show

Jamie Dawn said...

Excellent poem and definition. I am thoroughly impressed.

News:
Paris Hilton stubs her toe in prison.
Britney Spears plucks her eye brows herself.
Anna Nicole hated green beans as a child.

Tom & Icy said...

I thought of Hank Williams Jr. at first.

News seems the precursor of distorted history or myths.

goldennib said...

I need to know who Henry is?

News: For me, none, is good.

TLP said...

Scooter's really name is Iwin Lewis (I think), but it's recently been changed to PASTY. Sucker.

G said...

I miss Rowan & Martin's news too!

The Fall of Henry was grand.

News: what I am usually bombarded with when I come home (usually involving garbage trucks).

actonbell said...

pirouation? You got that from our Prez, huh? THAT's brilliant.

It's all brilliant. Yay!

ariel said...

Doug, it's sweet your optimism that makes you think hell is a whole mile from us. :)

I am glad Henry was not disappointed. neither all those heard of him in the news.

Doug said...

And bare naked on your site, Andrew. It's good to have you back.

Thanks, TLP, of the many things I adore you for is a memory that goes back before mine.

Sar, they're good to us on that show, aren't they?

Thanks, Jamie Dawn. Those are kind of who I had in mind.

Icy, that's one of my favorite Henrys even if he's a Randall. That's a really great observation, too. Good girl!

Nessa, the first line that came to me this morning when I knew it was "poem day" was "The mountain from which Henry fell" and other than that I have no idea. Jamie Dawn has good guesses and so does Mireille.

Haha, TLP. You're enjoying this aren't you? Shame on you!

G, from Julian? If you remember Rowan & Martin I must not have missed it by much.

OK, Actonbell I made it up but it looks like a word doesn't it? As a book-lover you'll appreciate: When I read The Professor And The Madman (well, half. All Winchester's books should be read halfway) I found it fantastically liberating to discover that a word becomes a word by being used as one. Ever since then my vocabulary's been huge and growing.

Hahaha, Ariel. Yeah, well, you know with a Rosy disposition like mine, distances only matter when your hair starts to singe.

puppybrose said...

News: an informational loop -- provided as an effective means for hanging people up and/or out to dry, even as others are kept hanging on for dear life.

poor POOR Henry. had he enough rope, and been willing to stick out his neck, things might have been different...

TLP & G: Rowan & Martin's Laugh-in. sigh. good times. ; )

tsduff said...

Erosion of celebrity- brilliant. Stellar form today Doug.

News is what makes my Bear addicted and grumpy... addicted to shooting up the daily ugly haze of politics, war, and the generally seamy side of life labeled news... and grumpy after he gets his morning fix.

al said...

News: Perky information, when rendered by Miss Katie Couric -- to the four or five people tuned in.

Cooper said...

A mere plebe... I salute you.

TLP said...

Ohh...I loved The Professor And The Madman! We have the Compact Edition of the OED, and it's two volumes of over 4,000 pages each, with 12 columns on each and every page. It comes with its own magnifying glass of course. Er..sorry, I can get exited over the strangest things.

Well, yes, I am enjoying the fall of the less-than-honest types in Washington.

It would be NEWS if there were any honest ones left. See man bites dog for real news.

Minka said...

news, n. human stories in haute couture

Minka said...

news,n: tomorrow´s water cooler recitals

Andrew Donaldson said...

Incidentally, Bread and Circuses is permanently defunct. I'd just as soon you pull it down from your bloglist. If you want to put up my new site, that'd be nice, but it's entirely up to you...

Doug said...

Neva, things always go better with enough rope and your neck stuck out, don't they?

Thanks, Terry. I can relate to your bear, although I wake up grumpy, too.

Al, that was even evil by my lax standards.

Cooper, my favorite jet set pleb. I salute you right back.

TLP, they'll have trouble finding someone to report it. (The OED gives me a tingle too.)

Minka, isn't it amazing what you can forget between today and tomorrow? And how much opinion you can fit in the gap?

Andrew, I'll get right on that. You were probably still writing Bread and Circuses the last time I edited the template.