Friday, June 22, 2007

History

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of evemts mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves and soldiers mostly fools.

Of Roman history great Nienuhr's shown
'Tis nine-tenths lying. Faith, I wish 'twere known,
Ere we accept freat Niebuhr as a guide,
Wherein he blundered and how much he lied.
-Sader Bupp

2007 Update: The accomplishments of drunken actors as explained by sober scholars.

To my New York City telephagists: The tide of mankind doth rise. We who were once so few are now so many that we had to switch restaurants. The new joint is called Southwest New York and is at 2 World Financial Center. Al's horsie rides will go on as before. See you at 1.

34 comments:

javajazz said...

good morning,
Bright Dog.

javajazz said...

no wonder i fell asleep
in history class...

ps. i wish my last name
was Bupp, too.
(Bupp 2)

al said...

History: My status, most likely, post horsie ride.

al said...

(Whether by luck or design, great update today, Doug. Given your history herein, these days I'm thinking design. Nice work.)

a4g said...

"A tragic burlesque of the human animal; sickly in body, brutish in culture, superstitious in mind; born too early to be Man made new by the wondrous advances which have blessed our own time."

-- John Higgins Praul, Wars of the 21st Century, Volume II. Collins University Press, 2251.

History, n. The books by which we ignore the past.

Crooks and Nannies said...

History, n. A nightmare from which I am trying to sleep through.

G said...

History: If Sam Cooke had known more, we would be less one wonderful song in this world.

See you at 1:00 and be there with bells on so we'll know you :)

mireille said...

Have fun New Yorkites! *we usually like to keep him on this coast, but it's good to share* xoxo

Sar said...

History of The World is one of my fav Mel Brooks films.

Treasure Bath!

Knight Jump Queen!

Would you please step with the same foot at the same time, my t*ts are falling off!

I give you these 12...10 commandments!

TLP said...

History: His version of things. Hers is different of course.

TLP said...

Ya know what's wrong with history? They just write about wars and disasters and cruelties. Apparently the good times aren't interesting enough to be recorded.

Doug said...

Morning, JJ. Bierce made those names up, so you can have it. JavaBupp. I like it.

Al, your sacrifice will not have been in vain.

a4g, and the ones we set on the coffee table in front of the television.

Does blogging about it help, Crooks?

G, my bells are a little tarnished.

Mireille, I used to do well avoiding coasts altogether. I still am not sure what happened.

Sar, isn't "15...10?"

Gossipt, TLP. Oh, and you're channeling Tony Snow. Have a drink or something.

quilly said...

I'm keeping my history but have decided to pitch most of the artifacts attesting to it out into the yard for the neighbors to make part of their history. And I feel much better just having embraced the decision.

puppybrose said...

forgive me for this, but, for some reason, Your Word + Your Upcoming Visit = a song from The Wizard of Oz:

(WA Minions)
We welcome you to Munchkin Land
Tra la la la la la la la la la la la

(Minion 1~with soon to be sore back)
From now on you'll be history

(Minion 2~standing next to her NBFF)
You'll be his...

(Munchkin 3~holding Teen Girl Squad bag)
You'll be his...

(Munchkin 4~wearing Dodger baseball cap)
You'll be history!

(Munchkin 5~flashing brilliant smile)
And we will glorify your name
You will be a bust...


(Munchkin 6~wearing totally cute shoes)
Be a bust...

(Munchkin 7~some odd passerby)
Be a bust...

(All)
In the hall of fame
Tra la la la la la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la la la la la
Tra la la la la la la

G said...

tra la la la la la la!

Damn, NBFF if The Wizard of Oz didn't flit through my head and get lost. Excellent!

Minka said...

puppy...Lol...you really need to get out more :)

history,n. a great hide-out and welcomed excuse for the shadows our present throws

Kyahgirl said...

your update is about as good as it can get!
Hope you and Al and assorted others manage to make history in NYC!

javajazz said...

wow, are you really this close to Canada?
i'm picking up the scent
of history (and lunch)
being made...

you could SO be a New Yorker,
Dry Dog...i'd be surprised
if you werent originally an
East Coaster...

Jamie Dawn said...

As per yesterday's history, I said I potted a Hygeia and I meant exactly what I said. It was a joke, of course, but apparently not a very good one.

Have fun at the New York pow wow! :-)

Al said...

Comfortable shoes, everyone.

You're history otherwise.

*whip cracks*

goldennib said...

History: Should be Ustory to be politically correct.

Indeterminacy said...

History: the subject that f***** up my grade point average.

Doug said...

Quilly, I've never made a decision that brought more peace than that one. Good for you.

Neva, will Joel be wearing a Papa Smurf hat tomorrow? (Funny lyric, Ms. Whiplash)

g, don't encourage her.

Nice one, Minka.

Kyah, I'm kind of hoping to stay out the textbooks although with Al giving Horsie rides to strange women and Joel in a Papa Smurf hat, I'm resigned to the six o'clock news.

I will be by sunrise, JJ. Nope, originally a midwesterner. I'll die that way, too although I'm not sure where.

J.D. I was just checking that I got the joke. And thanks.

Not to fear, Al. There's bound to be dumpsters along the way.

Goldennib, thanks for the edit/henriettit.

Indie, I think I got a D. It was my best subject.

tsduff said...

I think lunch in NY is making HISstory... boo hoo what a fun time to go down in the annals of Doug and Friends...did you invite Minka to drag some of her horses along?

TLP said...

Some of you drank lunch, didn't you?

puppybrose said...

i got that joke, too, JD, and i thought it was great ("hygieia" happen to be among my favorite flowers, too!)

Al: flip flops, my man. i stubbed my toe today, and i think i broke it. hopefully that purple polish on my toes will go a long way towards camouflaging the bruises. d'oh!

Terry: if only you'd planned your trip a wee bit better! so close,and yet so dang far away! don't think some of us won't be missing that penguin a great deal. fortunately, i've got her on speed dial, and i'm not afraid to use it! ; )

TLP: chances are pretty decent some will wind up drinking, and some of us non-drinkers will wind up driving 'em down to the state line, where we will happily point them in the direction of YOUR house. heh heh. (wish you were coming)

sorry Doug, thanks to my NBFF, i've now got more than a little "tra la la la la in my head. sue me. ; )

javajazz said...

come to Canada!
its a lovely place to die..er,
you know what i mean.

sunrise...wow.
that's kind of exciting.

Miz BoheMia said...

I have nothing... it is early am and I am dizzy and woozy and on my way to bed... but stopping in to wish you all mucho fun in the morrow and man how I wish I could have been there! Sounds like quite the show, em, gathering to witness! ;-P I kid! Or not. You will never know seeing that I won't be there!

*SOB*

Doug said...

Terry, it will be fun and we'll toast you. I'm not sure about Minka and the horses. Minka?

TLP, it felt that way.

Neva, we'll stop at the courthouse after lunch.

JJ, I'd love to see Toronto in Winter. I'm like that.

Miz B, we'll toast you too. To a bright lunch on the West Coast, huh?

javajazz said...

it comes as no surprise Dog,
that you would want to see Canada
in the winter,
when we can get our igloos spiffed up
for the occasion...
when you already live in a year round
warm climate, the winter offers
the special sparkles, white blankets
of snow dusted everything,
and breath-seeing excitement
of the season that you would rarely
get to experience down in the
beautiful south...

Minka said...

Nope, I won't be there...I wanted to but the horses declined and said that abroad all the other horses sniff them out and call them ponies.
Personally, my horses feel that it is nice when the grass can tickle their tummies!

Stephen Dedalus said...

History: A nightmare from which we are all trying to awake.

puppybrose said...

i meant to ask you this yesterday (Friday), Mr. So-Called-Curmudgeon:

what, exactly, is an "evemt"? did we experience one, today?? (Saturday) if so, it was quite grand, and i hope we can experience another one, soon!! ; )

puppybrose said...

bet you'd have laughed if i'd said "hope we experience another one, soom".

ah well, what is life, if not a series of missed opportumities? ; )