Thursday, June 14, 2007

Government

GOVERNMENT, n. A modern Chronos who devours his own children. The priesthood are charged with the duty of preparing them for his tooth.

2007 Update: The social skyship, the canvas of which is liberty stitched together with the thread of our collective will to interfere, inflated with the aspirations of all and designed to carry a small party without a map.

26 comments:

puppybrose said...

1st. just because i am... and i can. ; )

puppybrose said...

and "wow", by the way. i'm thinkin' your update is even better than Bierce's. i may have to ponder this word for a minute... or 3. ; )

the amoeba said...

And here I thought I just might be last ... er, first. Having not gotten to bed yet while the rest of you are sipping your morning coffee.

That is some update, Doug. Those of us who are perhaps older than we should be admitting in public might accuse you of defining McGOVERNMENT. See the ancient bumper sticker, "Don't Blame Me, I Voted For ..." And the modern one, "I Never Thought I'd Miss Nixon".

;)

tsduff said...

Only a brave beagle would tackle such a subject. They know no fear.

Jenna Howard said...

Government. Their lips are flapping and all I hear is "blah, blah, blah."

Theresa said...

"By definition, a government has no conscience. Sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more." -Albert Camus

Government, n. A collection of politicians with no conscience.

EsotericWombat said...

Government: The winners; the writers of history. The losers have been shamed and defamed or hanged for treason

al said...

Government: A bacteria culture that releases a noxious gas when deprived of oxygen and exposed to fluorescent lighting.

(Hi, Amoeba... nice ta see ya.)

Doug said...

Thanks, Neva the first.

Amoeba, old enough to miss Nixon is getting younger. Nice to hear from you, and thanks for the editorial support.

Bow wow, Terry!

That's because it's all their saying, Jenna.

Theresa, it isn't every day we get a well written piece of existentialist wordplay. Well done.

Wombat, nowadays we just waterboard the losers or debate them.

Al, that could be government or the biology department at the University of Hawai'i.

TLP said...

Government: a vague-minded body of C and D students, who are incapable of leading us, and who will not follow our will, so they simply stand in our way, re-arranging the issues every day or so.

Sar said...

Government: A body collectively fat on pork yet thin on follow through.

goldennib said...

Your update sounds like poetry.

I try to avoid the government like the plague.

Miz BoheMia said...

Government... eeeevil bastards whose collectors won't work with me on student loans I didn't know I had...

Oh crap! Can I say "bastards"?

Oh dammit! I said "crap"!

Oy vey... I said "dammit"...

Dios mio!!!... me voy, ME VOY!!! STOP KICKING ME!

ariel said...

government, the criminals can legally steal the money *I* work for.

actonbell said...

I agree with Neva. Your definition is wonderful. There's definitely no map! Or perhaps the map has a "reverse direction" hex that occurs every four years.

Doug said...

Gosh, TLP. Student Government was all B students. What goes wrong?

Excuse me, Sar, but you're awfully hard on fat-on-pork-thin-on-follow-through-Americans.

Nessa, I think that's very wise. My poetry sounds like dictionary but I'll get it straightened out one of these days.

Miz B, no estuve mi pata.

Ariel, and that which I work so hard to steal, too. Sumsabitches!

Not even a plan, Actonbell.

G said...

I could have sworn I commented earlier.

Government: something that makes anarchy look very appealing.

Jamie Dawn said...

government: big spenders with little to show for it

Excellent definitions today from both you and Bierce.

TLP said...

People in government are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see 'em tumble down the stairs or fall from grace.

Doug's Dad said...

tlp, as a longtime "toiler" in the service of govmint, I should be offended - but THAT is funny

TLP said...

Doug's dad: I'm a retired state worker myself. And thanks, I guess "it's good enough for government work."

quilly said...

government "of the people, by the people and for the people ... " Right.

see also fairy tale

Tom & Icy said...

Dusty and I have a Democracy at our house... we let the 'masters' think they are making the decisions.

Doug said...

G, you remind of Winston Churchill's "Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others."

Thanks, Jamie Dawn. And untaxed!

Wonderful metaphor, TLP, and they get tangled up in their own coils, too.

Pops, since you became a lawyer, government purse-carrier was kind of a noble profession to aspire to.

TLP, you can call him "Steve" if you like.

Quilly, "the people" is the silly part.

Icy, I think the man who writes three blogs for his two dogs might ve in on the joke.

G said...

Actually, I'd have to agree with old Winston.

Minka said...

government, n. a gathering of people standing on a pedestal of illusion