Monday, September 10, 2007

Diplomacy

DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

2007 Update:  A raven with poetry on its tongue and plague in its feathers dispatched by vultures with meat on their breath and teeth in their sides.  Lies told to foreigners for the purpose of fooling countrymen.  

28 comments:

Minka said...

*ponders*

TLP said...

Ambrose was right on on this one. But then, so are you. Applause all around.

I'm sure this has nothing to do with Dip sh*t. Right?

I Dive At Night said...

Doug, that's harsh. What about...

Diplomacy: A wise man's alternative to bombs & guns.

puppybrose said...

I must acknowledge, once and for all, that the purpose of diplomacy is to prolong a crisis. ~Mr. Spock (Star Trek)

Diplomacy: live well, and proffer?

Tom & Icy said...

Licking the hand that feeds you

karma said...

George Bernard Shaw, the ultimate diplomat, was at a social do and needed to use the facilities. He walked into the ladies room by mistake, and was confronted by the sight of a lady having a shower.

Without blinking an eye, he tipped his hat and said, "excuse me, sir" and walked out

Sar said...

Diplomacy - The ability to see beyond the nose sticking up on one's own face.

In Dipsh*t's case, his is stuck so far up that if he filled it with nickels, he could reverse our national debt!

Btw, Snuppy, you're going to get me in trouble making me snicker with your comment while I'm reading it in the campus library. :)

the amoeba said...

Hmmm. If a Holy See is a seat of religion, does that make a Diploma See a seat of learning?

Must be so. 'Cause a DiploMat is an outlet of the Diploma See - a machine where you get a diploma.

I just hope Sar's not getting hers at one.

Kyahgirl said...

I think Ambrose did a good job in that definition!
I thought you were pretty diplomatic last week when you told that soliciting fella that there IS no person behind the blog but welcome anyway :-)

quilly said...

Ha! The origin of this word says it all. A committee of wise men got together to discuss their realization that a need for some kind of governance was needed. They decided a select few individuals had to be put into place to help govern the populace at large.

They, themselves, did not wish the jobs, knowing they would be a thankless positions. Instead, they decided they wanted ambitious men who were not too bright (George W. Bush prototypes. One of the men, Joe P. Macy, rose to look out the window of his estate at the milling throng and pointed, "Where in that rabble," he asked, "are we to find candidates?"

And one of his peers replied, "Dip low, Macy. Dip low."

Doug said...

Minka, that's a diplomatic way of saying "first and unready."

TLP, I'm pretty sure I know who you mean.

Morgan, why would you want an alternative to guns? I'm perplexed.

Neva, that's a great quote. Live long and proper!

Icy, in it's purest form, absolutely.

Karma, that's the best story Ive heard in a long time. Brilliant example!

Sar, Diplomacy, n. The inspired mixing of metaphors.

Amoeba, if she is, the mill is lucky for the grist.

Kyah, I actually have learned since then the provenance of that apparent spam and I'm glad I wasn't mean. It seems to have been a well-intended if unsuccessful offer.

Quilly, that's funny but if you'll forgive me for saying so, it sounds so much like one of OC's inspired shaggy dog stories that I'm appreciating more than just the gag.

Kyahgirl said...

See, now I never thought that comment was spam. I just thought it was a genuine solicitation because there is something awfully appealing about a blog run by a dog with a ghost at the helm!!

puppybrose said...

yeah i knew i mis-quoted my "made up" quote the minute i hit "publish". (did i mention i was in a hurry this moring??) thank G*d there's at least one geek in this bunch to diplomatically correct my mistake (well done, Dawg). : P

Diplomacy: live long and proffer. \\ //,

that said, thanks Sar for your kind words! and i happen to think it's good for you to burst out laughing in the library! makes all those youngins wonder what you know, that they don't... (which is lots, i'm guessing!) ; )

G said...

Diplomacy: the art of lyi...err, making the truth palatable.

tsduff said...

Well-said G!

Doug, that is one rather unflattering picture you painted of a raven.

I prefer a quote from the master of wit, Mark Twain on diplomacy:

"Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
- Mark Twain's Notebook, 1898

Minka said...

I like that one, Terry!

Doug, yours was fine though, too!

*mediates, having no ground to stand on herself*

diplomacy,n. when you lack convincing evidence that supports your attack, to prey and bide your time

Jamie Dawn said...

All i can think of is the movie where the guy yells out "Diplomatic Immunity" which is supposed to protect him, but he ends up getting shot in the head anyway.
I remember that it's a great scene because the guy who gets shot is a very bad man.

Dubya said...

See, Diplomacy is a thing that goes with Tact, which is to say, they go together. Our intelligence is not sure of their exact location at this time, but we have received reliable evidence that they promote terrorism.
So what I'm saying is, the it's best if I'M the one deciding on new ways to harm our country--heh, heh.

Miz BoheMia said...

Dios mio hermano mio! My mind is dancing a twisted dance around your electrifyingly dizzying words! Speechless am I and just dropping in to applaud such a beautiful and poetic definition of a word describing a quality I possess not...

FABULOUS!

Cooper said...

diplomacy: manipulation with a handshake.

cindra said...

diplomacy: swallowing your tongue

Indeterminacy said...

Diplomacy aside, I love Cooper's definition.

quilly said...

Jamie Dawn -- Lethal Weapon 2

Bullets are more reliable for closing deals then diplomacy. No negotiations. No compromise. Greater mercy (no prisoners).

I Dive At Night said...

Doug, good point, guns aren't bad, they're just misunderstood.

But bombs are definitely bad. Come on, if you're going to kill a person (or a group or culture) at least have the decency to do it face-to-face.

Just be thankful wars aren't still solved with "kings" playing chess! The U.S. would be a 3rd world country by now if that were the case.

Doug said...

Lethal Weapon II, I believe, Jamie Dawn.

Dubya, I'd recognize you anywhere.

Miz B, you compensate with enthusiasm

Nice one, Cooper. Put'er there!

Cindra, or sticking it out?

It's true, Quilly. Lead is the substance of xharity.

Exactly Morgan, bombs don't kill people. People kill people. And I am glad wars aren't still solved by the kings playing chess. To be honest, we aren't doing that well by weapon either, but it's much better television.

Minka said...

hmm? Don't tell me I picked up some of Neva's invisible ink last time I was at her place. Contagious it seems!

*sets up camp, waiting for a response*

Doug said...

Oh, forgive this aging doofus, Minka. I meant to say: Are you sure you aren't a vulture? Diplomat of sky and savannah?

Doug said...

Whoops.

Kyah, put that way I fascinate my spectral self.

Neva, well done finding an emoticon for the Vulcan salute! (and you call me a nerd.

G, parenting again?

Terry, Twain was brilliant and only the crows really understood.

Me too, Indie. And I'm not just saying that because you're in Germany and she's in D.C.