Thursday, September 13, 2007

Palm

PALM, n. A species of tree having several varieties, of which the familiar "itching palm" (Palma hominis) is most widely distributed and sedulously cultivated. This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver. The metal will adhere with remarkable tenacity. The fruit of the itching palm is so bitter and unsatisfying that a considerable percentage of it is sometimes given away in what are known as "benefactions."

2007 Update: The portion of the hand offered to display the respect and consideration that hides cards discretely.

24 comments:

I Dive At Night said...

Palm: It's a beer in Holland. Yummy one too!

(FIRST!)

karma said...

another definition the dawg is trying to palm off on us poor unsuspecting fans %#@*&%

(SECOND!)

uxgpqvu: same to you

TLP said...

Clever people steal things by palming them. Maybe "clever" isn't just the right word.

the amoeba said...

"Yo, dude!"

"Lalalalalala..."

"Avoid me, willya? Sheesh. What do you get when you cross a palm with an olive?"

"A billionaire."

"Hey! Your hands. Show."

"What?!? You think I'm palming your scripts? If I could do that, I wouldn't be wasting the skill on you. But the only guy with a palace around here is the Dawg."

:P

the amoeba said...

Maybe if those two would shut up for a minute, I could have a turn here.

PALM, n. In the NBA, the dribble. The amount of palm permitted on any given move is directly proportional to the flashiness of the move and the salary of the athlete making it. See PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING.

Jamie Dawn said...

You may not know this, unless you're psychic, but I am a palm reader.
From what little glimpses I was able to get of your palms (when they weren't covered by a burger or cup)
I can tell you that you will live long and prosper.
You also tend to be very lucky, so I'd suggest you play the lottery on a regular basis.

Minka said...

palm?

I once pruned one, with a machete. It was alive after I was done with it, why?

Tom & Icy said...

Feeds, pets and smacks.

Icy's Cyclops said...

Got a picture of your cyclops from last Saturday's story.

Kyahgirl said...

Palm-a tree much hugged and loved by a penguin :-)

Doug said...

Morgan, cheers!

Karma, some day you'll stop taking what I give. For now, this is the landfill of vocabulary. Rent's cheap, though.

TLP, I think the word you're looking for is grabby.

Amoeba, tell the dudes that was the best joke they've made. "Madge" could be another punchline. And didn't MJ get away with all kinds of double dribbles? Scandal!

Jamie Dawn, grease makes the lifeline look longer, but thanks for the charm.

Minka, it's a pity you didn't arrive with a 60-foot suitcase. Next time, maybe.

All the things we need, Icy. Ask Master Tom.

Cyclops, I can't wait to see.

Kyah, I remember that too. You were more of a boulder gal as I recall.

puppybrose said...

Palm: half a clapper?

sorry, i came thisclose to saying something a bit more... rosy, but then thought better of it. Bierce's definition is interesting -- tho' one wonders if he didn't get turned down by his own palm from time to time. d'oh! talk about the ultimate rejection...

on the other hand, your update was terrific. ; )

quilly said...

I understand there are pilots named Palm who order people's lives for them.

goldennib said...

When your palm itches it means money is coming your way. It works, too. I always find pennies on the ground.

P.S. - TLP: I would never laugh at you unless you were doing a funny dance or something or playing my game. I really am dyslexic and have to be careful, re-reading constantly.

Omnipotent Poobah said...

palm - That thing with the hair growing out of it.

tsduff said...

When I was a girl, I used to try to climb the fat palm tree in front of our yard to get a look at the pigeons who nested high above in treetop under the stickery swords of the fronds. Those old rotten fronds BREAK... especially near the top, and it's a long way down!

Palm: A place for dates.

Rio said...

i was looking for a palm reader but could only find tarot---french quarter, New Orleans, LA

such a trip could only end in tears

AP3 said...

Just makes me think of Palm Sunday. I'm losing my mind.

cooper said...

Well, I'm just getting in to poker and I need a bigger palm to hide and collect.

ariel said...

palm, what you drink of you when haven't got a glass with you.

weirsdo said...

Though not a fan of corporal punishment, I have sometimes experienced itchy palms when dealing with Veryred State University students.

Doug said...

Neva, that's what I tell myself.

Quilly, that's my understanding, too. Chaos by the hour.

Nessa, what does it mean when your feet itch?

Haha, Poobah. You've been reading Maxim, haven't you?

Terry, there's no tree slier or more despicable.

Rio, that's why I stick to phrenologists. They might not know where I'm going but they know where I've been.

Lara, let's spin that as you're about to make a triumphal entry.

Cooper, the palm is key.

Ariel, like Diogenes.

Weirsdo, I can imagine. At Emory, my fellow students were in desperate need of a quick palm. There should be corporal punishment for anyone who comes to a pre-exam study session with the professor with prepared questions like "If a student got a D on the midterm and has a C- average on the quizzes, what would I need to on the final to get an A in the class?" Bigger ears, son. Bigger ears.

goldennib said...

Doug, it means you need to stop letting your puppy lick your toes.

weirsdo said...

And there's "musicians" who show up to rehearsals unprepared and get mad about being laughed at by 13-year-old girls.
As Dr. Weirsdo says, they can always enlist.