Monday, October 08, 2007

Gum

GUM, n. A substance greatly used by young women in place of a contented spirit and religious consolation.

2007 Update: The common term for the gingiva which restrain the tongue and project the incisors, enabling organized religion.

29 comments:

Minka said...

Os Palatinum in Latin!
Thanks for helping me to study.

Minka said...

gum,n. When the bitterness uttered by others leaves a bitter taste; it is advisable to chew on it for a bit, don't swallow though since it makes for tough digestion.

weirsdo said...

Ooo. Both definitions are so good. And Bierce's seems like the "update" to me. I know these young women.

puppybrose said...

Gum: sole food?

sorry, but the first thing that comes to mind is the wad that inevitably finds its way to the bottom of my shoe.

wonderful definitions by both Bierce and by you. ; )

Lammy said...

I prefer a cud

pia said...

Wonderful definitions by Bierce and you. Amazing one by Neva

Gum substance thrown by Peta members when they didn't have paint and the coat was swamp rat. Missed the coat made it to my eye

karma said...

what sticky little bears are made of

TLP said...

Ambrose musta known Britney.

A type of tree in which the Kookaburra sits.

Mutha said...

Gum: A way to pass the time.

Mutha said...

TLP: Thanks for mentioning the word "kookaburra." I love it.

Joel said...

Sorry, the only thing I can think of is that old recurring David Letterman line..."uh, ya want some gum?"

Jim said...

GUM: GUM Department Store in Moscow is NOT really a department store. Rather, it is similar to what in the U.S. we would call an UPSCALE DEPARTMENT STORE.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_Universal_Store

Mrs. Jim and I were there last October, see my blog today at
http://jimmiehov.blogspot.com/
for a picture of Mrs. Jim visiting the GUM, 'mall,' there in Moscow.
..

Mutha said...

Also: Abreyu on the Yankees chews gum while at bat, making it pop in and out of his mouth until the pitcher is about to deliver, at which time he lets it sit on his bottom lip. Seeing a stranger's gum in close-up is unsettling.

the amoeba said...

Mutha? Would you prefer to see Abreu's 'baccy? For which the gum's a substitute? 'Course, you'd rather not see Abreu at all, now would'ya, preferring that the midges of Cleveland got him first. You Beantowners, between CameraGate and the second coming of The Schilling, have plenty to chew on. With all your prosperity, you might just need a memento mori whispering in your ear ...

"The Bruins ..."

Bierce reminded us all that jokes like "How do you know an elephant's on a journey?" and "When is a door not a door?" were old when the Springfield musket was the pinnacle of weapons tech. Now it's gum-chewing teenies. What's next? Report of some undiscovered manuscript revealing that there really was a Bondian secret service during the Grant Administration, and Ambrose was an agent?

quilly said...

Gum i. substance that is always getting in the works, making them not!

quilly said...

Oh, hey! I can't believe OC missed this:

GUM n. sticky substance secreted by small children -- especially small children who sneak off with trumpets awaiting play in during church worship services. The gum remains even after the small child is dislodged and is not discovered until after the first startling note is blown ....

OC does not like: (select your own answer)

____ gum

____ small children

G said...

Gum: the dastardly substance behind a recent crown dislodging. Nothing is forever I guess.

Jamie Dawn said...

Gums is what's left when all yer teeth fall out.
Pod thai noodles are easily gummed.
We can take the dogs with us to Chandra ONLY if two of us pretend to be blind. Otherwise, they will have to settle for a doggie bag.

actonbell said...

Great definitions, all around:)
I keep thinking of Don Knotts swallowing his, for some reason.

Mutha said...

Easy Amoeba -- I got no love for the Patriots, never have AND I have never said that Schilling was anything but The Reverand Professor KooKoo for Coco Puffs.

And yes, speaking of gum, we have plenty to chew on...but not as much as the Angels.

The prosperity of the Red Sox is beyond hard won. I savour it with pride.

Doug said...

Minka, I did not know that. Wouldn't that be a bone, though?

Weirsdo, I wish you didn't know them from graduate school but I suspect you knew them there, too.

Neva, I detect gumshoery.

Ruminating, Lammy?

Pia, that's the problem with Peta. They can't distinguish between swamp rat and sable. Sable's don't have souls.

Karma, I thought that was honey.

TLP, wasn't that scene in Fahrenheit 911 just shocking? I don't know why but it was a freakshow to me.

Laugh, Mutha, Laugh.

Joel, I have no idea about that. I'm sure I've seen Letterman but can't remember when.

Jim, is it Hermitage upscale?

Mutha, I'd pitch out for sure.

Amoeba, Owl Creek Bridge-like?

Quilly, nothing worse than a non-functioning work is there?

Quilly, I have trouble choosing. Can parents be an option?

G, what's the background story?

Jamie Dawn, the ignominy of it!

Actonbell, that's disturbing for some reason.

Enjoy, Mutha. Go tribe!

quilly said...

Mutha -- good job. Your imagery stuck to OC like gum. HE is sitting here on the couch repeating your reply and giggling. Yes, giggling!

Jim said...

Only the gift shops in the Hermitage are upscale.

The Hermitage is elegant, but staid.
And no pictures were allowed in there, not even 'no flash' ones.
..

mireille said...

there's some funny people snapping and blowing here. Yum, Orbit. In wintergreen. xoxo

tsduff said...

The Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge traumatized me for years, having seen it when in the 10th grade. I never knew that was by Bierce. Wow.

Gum: A native Australian tree which at one point was touted as a savior for American timber. - A beautiful tree which smells like cold medicine.

weirsdo said...

Actually no, Doug. And mints seem to have seen Mall Diva through the purse goody sharing phase of early adolescence.

Anonymous said...

gum? i think it's the thing that i stuffed into my mean landlord's outlet right before i moved out. just saying hi Doug.
asiansmiles

Cooper said...

gum: Probably the only reason I didn't start smoking in college.

Doug said...

Quilly, botany's the most risible science, I bet.

Jim, it just goes to show, once the czar may be gone, but the tyranny lives on.

Mireille, you're an omniverous connoisseur.

Terry, I've done my part chopping them down in Australia. I should plant one here.

Weirsdo, I entirely forgot the good mint.

Asiansmiles, I'm glad you said hi and committed sabotage.

Cooper, can you imagine how cool you might have been?