Thursday, December 13, 2007

Hypochondriasis

HYPOCHONDRIASIS, n. Depression of one's own spirits.

Some heaps of trash upon a vacant lot
Where long the village rubbish had been shot
Displayed a sign among the stuff and stumps —
"
Hypochondriasis." It meant The Dumps.
Bogul S. Purvy

2007 Update: A complex psychological condition caused by poor digital diet, environmental pathogens such as Infoococcus wikiensis, Spiro googlegaster and Insomnial psychophagia.

25 comments:

actonbell said...

*gasp*

Tom & Icy said...

Thanks Actonbell. I came eariler but didn't want to be first. I was trying to be last for yesterday's post.
Actonbell expressed how I feel.

Tom & Icy said...

I remember Lucinda Sans

actonbell said...

Oh, Tom, I hate to tell you this, but Lucinda Sans couldn't stop worrying about that mole on her tummy, and had it removed. Then, she perceived that the scar from this removal was getting larger, and feared that it could be a sign of a much deeper cancer, a severe intestinal problem, or toe fungus that would later cause her to have kidney failure. Unfortunately, she also was watching too much TV, which led her to ask her doctor about zannex, lexipro, citronex, lindel2, and many other medications. Of course, it wasn't long before Lucinda developed serious symptoms, including severe nausea that lasted more than four hours and I'm afraid that at this point, Lucinda stopped seeking medical attention because of the number of diseases she feared catching at the local hospital. She died peacefully, surrounded by her best friends, Valium and Tequila.

karma said...

Douglas, will you play 'doctor' with me?

yjjiyul: yesyesyes

Theresa said...

I fear I'm suffering from extreme confusion. Do you think it could be serious?

Mo'a said...

I was also affraid of being first...did not want to be whacked by a flipper.
Now I have nothing more to say, because Actonbell is a hard act to follow. Valium and Tequila...ah!!!yes!!!I am told that they are good friends to many...ofcourse I would not know. Manhattan and Sild are my friends.

Doug...speaking of eating children.
You might want to
check this out
Seems the Irish agree with you...look in the sidebar on the bottom of the page.

OC or Q said...

HYPOCHONDRIASIS n. Depression of one's own spirits.
SEE ALSO: sick

SICK

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay,
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is---Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

~Shel Silverstein~

Kyahgirl said...

you forgot blog withdrawalosis. it can be quite debilitating at first but after one gets past the shakes and hallucinations its manageable.

Great definitions today Doug (both).

pia said...

Actonbell that was hysterical. When did you get to know me so well?

OC or Quilly Shel could tell Shel Silverstein from the first sentence

Me: I don't have use of my apartment from 8-7 or 8---and Saturdays--might lose my mind--the little left--before actually selling

It began as such a small project...do I qualify for hypochETC or is this the real deal? Emotionally I guess though the dry apartment air at night mixed with paint fumes and then whatever cafe I spend the day in--has germs--many germs--

TLP said...

I'm afraid that Actonbell's comment gave me a serious laughing fit, which led to my falling off my chair, and now I fear that I have internal injuries. Or maybe I fell because I have a brain tumor that is ruining my balance. It's sort of dark out -- I wonder if I'm going blind. My stomach is growling! Could something be eating me up from inside? I should probably call the ambulance before the weather gets worse.

It's been so nice knowing all of you...

Nessa said...

* cough, cough * I am infected just reading those horrid diseases. * cough, cough *

Doug said...

Actonbell, drink plenty of water and start an antibiotic drip.

Icy, that's a lot of precision. Yeah, Lucinda Sans was a good one.

Actonbell, I thought it might have been something like that.

Karma, open wide and say "liability waiver."

Theresa, it's all in your head.

Mo'a, The Flying Spaghetti Monster is an apostasy being forced upon our children by the Parmesano and Reggiano sects.

Quilly, Shel Silverstein was the right kind of talent, wasn't he?

Kyahgirl, you just came back to tell us it's ok to go into the light?

Pia, whatever it is, it's treatable, I'm sure.

TLP, stay in touch. I'm sure there are computers in Unitarian heaven, between the coffee urn and the loom.

Nessa, you're going to give us all a computer virus.

revi said...

please don't keep me in suspense, what did i review? :)

puppybrose said...

Hypochondriasis: healthy fear of being the last one to get sick, and, therefore, the only one left to take care of everyone else. (i hate when that happens)

tsduff said...

Hypochondriasis: Worrying about the heartbreak of psoriasis

Doug said...

Revi, I think it was a book about film and a pet carrier.

Me too, Neva. That's why I'm going to let dozens of nasty children sit on my knee tonight. I should be pure patient by the time I'm home. Hope Walela is quick with the compress.

Terry, that would probably be a good example.

Cooper said...

Does that mean my xanthinusdentésphobia is not real?

Cindrarella said...

This makes me think of little Vada in the movie "my girl"...

Jamie Dawn said...

Today's word made me break out in a rash.

I use a Mac, so if it's not complicated, let me know how to be able to use Spanish symbols.

I just got off the phone with my mom.
She says your word of the day means "fear of death by almonds."

TLP said...

You're playing Santa again? Teehee! Post pictures.

You will get sick. Kids are nasty little things. Full of snot and buggers and germs. *Shudder*

I think I'm getting sick by proxy. Did you touch the screen here? Did you wash your hands? My eyes are beginning to water...

Doug said...

No, Cooper. The gum in your mouth is all too real. I think there's spinach also.

Good memory, Cindra, and welcome back.

OK, JD, here's your lesson. The tilde is made over any character by first holding down the option key and hitting "n," then the character which I think will always be another n. So Mañana is typed M - a- option+n - n - a - n -a. In Spanish vowels are always pronounced the same so the acute accent mark is used to indicate that some syllable other than the second-to-last is emphasized when speaking. To make that symbol, you hold down option and press e before you type the vowel in the accented syllable. So, the name Alarcón is typed as A - l - a -r - c- option+e - o - n. ¿Entiendes? Oh, right the ¡ is option+1 and ¿ is option+shift+1.

TLP, sad to say I had the camera put in the hands of a friend to take pictures and she somehow assumed I just wanted her to hold it for me. I did try to take one of myself with my phone. If it turned out I'll post it. *ACHOO!*

Mutha said...

another environmental pathogen: Wizenhymera -- rampant in my household.

Doug said...

Mutha, be glad it's not contagious.

Minka said...

:)