Thursday, December 06, 2007

Molecule

MOLECULE, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. Three great scientific theories of the structure of the universe are the molecular, the corpuscular and the atomic. A fourth affirms, with Haeckel, the condensation of precipitation of matter from ether — whose existence is proved by the condensation of precipitation. The present trend of scientific thought is toward the theory of ions. The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion. A fifth theory is held by idiots, but it is doubtful if they know any more about the matter than the others.

2007 Update:  The largest form of matter able to pass a gossip undetected.

22 comments:

Amhsirak Rian XXVIXIXLXXVI said...

Molecule :Subtlest form of matter, that passes straight from the mother's heart to her unborn in the womb...

TLP said...

A fifth theory is held by idiots, but it is doubtful if they know any more about the matter than the others. HA!

I do too know more about the matter! A molecule is a growth on your cuticle. Any idiot can see that. I sees.

Note to Amhsirak: When you're first you get to brag about it. Also see: FIRST!

puppybrose said...

so i guess Bierce is really saying...

Molecule: the heart of the matter and/or the matter of the heart? (along with everything else)

TLP, when you're third all you can do is whine and/or sigh. ; )

Minka said...

I love butter, especially when cooking food. No fan of the of margarine. When people bugged me about it, this is the answer they get:
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC!

-true story!

anonamoeba said...

Oh, I don't know, Doug. Perfume's a molecule, and it doesn't get by too many gossips. Whether applied by intent, diet, or sloth.

We do progress, though. Science still argues about the nature of matter, but now the debate centers on things like gluons. Named after certain utopiae, no longer extant.

;)

G said...

Minka, I couldn't agree more! Blech.

molecule: when you're wires get crossed somewhere between mollycoddle and ridicule.

Puppy, just what is Bierce saying?
Doug, Amshirak Rain to the tenth power is too good for this place. She's first and doesn't brag, she writes heartfelt sweet definitions - I think she's setting us up.

OC or Q said...

MOLE n. burrowing rodent

ASS n. not as in donkey, but as in gluteus maximus.

Therefore a MOLECULE is a rodent butt.

-Quilly

Omnipotent Poobah said...

molecule - A tiny bit of matter extracted from a live mole. Also so see volecule.

Doug said...

Karishma, is than one an acid or a base?

TLP, you sure showed Bierce who's got the molecules for theoretizing.

Right you are, Neva. Slate is made mostly of silicate molecules and iron.

Minka, people should just be glad you aren't having regurgitated fish. At least outside of Iceland.

Amoeba, you disappoint me because: perfume isn't usually a single molecule but an amalgam and I just knew you were going to point out that diamonds are. Your average gossip can see a diamond even in through the pocket.

G, remember she came to us through Ariel. I suspect she's just keeping the cutting edged sheathed for now.

Quilly, did you think we were doing MOLASSES?

Poobah, that was great. I appreciate that there's such a thing as a vole.

pia said...

So an ion is? and differs? Ion is one of my favorite all time words. I don't know why

Probably because many people would put me into that fifth theorist category though by your thinking we're no more stupid than anybody else

I think I have been around too much construction dust and mineral oil and other toxic substances poisoning.

jenn said...

This is way too sciency for me.

Jamie Dawn said...

I'm one of those idiots who believe in the fifth theory.
All we have to say is that molecules are very, very small.

You have a Christmas sofa!!!
(It sounds kind of hideous, but I bet it's comfy.)

anonamoeba said...

Not guilty, Dawg. Diamond is pure carbon, and if the inclusion of an indefinite number of carbon atoms in a crystalline lattice is considered a molecule, well, chemistry has advanced past my understanding of it.

And if perfume is an amalgam, ain't no way I'm letting that stuff anywhere near my body. I get enough mercury from my tuna fish sandwiches, thankee.

Human perfumes are mixtures, yes. But I was thinking of, like, pheromones. Which are single molecules. Which some moths can detect at concentrations of 1x10^17th - one molecule of pheromone in a 5 gallon bucket, near enough. Now that's a perfume.

Where's Kyah when we need her? There's an empty seat, Jenn left the room a long while ago. ;)

puppybrose said...

Molecule: curly hair protruding from a growth on someone's chin?

laughing at Poobah's comment -- reminded me of the time we had such a big problem with those pesky critters i began referring to our backyard as a condemoleium.

tsduff said...

holey moley you science heads are too cule for this bird brain today... *hops back to her perch*

actonbell said...

Oh, dear, what can the matter be? I'm with Terry! Back to the stove I go.

TLP said...

Actonbell! Step away from the stove. I didn't raise you to cook!

I'm laughing at Puppy's "Molecule: curly hair protruding from a growth on someone's chin?" Too, too funny! Also gross.

Cheesemeister said...

For some reason the word "molecule" reminded me of this:
The foot bone connected to the leg bone,
The leg bone connected to the knee bone,
The knee bone connected to the thigh bone,
The thigh bone connected to the back bone,
The back bone connected to the neck bone,
The neck bone connected to the head bone,
Oh, hear the word of the Lord!


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mireille said...

Quark? Lepton? And we know how you feel about gossip. heh. xoxo

Cooper said...

I'm sorry I just watched the Babs special featuring Chávez causing me to confuse corpulent and icon with corpuscular and ion. I just can't get past it.

Doug said...

Pia, an ion is a molecule with one or more missing or surplus electrons. I'm glad you asked.

Jenn, that's because you don't understand how hot covalence can be.

Jamie Dawn, I'm told it's kind of hitonious but it's also comfortable. The greens are kind of olivish, though.

Guilty together, OC. I did mean mixture not amalgam and you're right that pheremones are both perfume and molecules but carbon atoms joined by covalent bonds I believe comply with the requirements for a molecule.

Neva, my garden is condomoleum, too.

Terry, E=MCaw(2)

Actonbell, Johnny is long at the freakshow. Wait! Wasn't it pizza and beer night?

TLP, funny and gross is established humor.

That's not spam, Cheesie, it sounds fun. If I'm granted the time, I'll join the fun.

Not everyone does, Mireille.

Cooper, it's an easy mistake to make.

ariel said...

Molecule, the smallest unit of individuality.